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Mar 29, 2007

I truly loved this DailyOm...this is exactly what I mean when I talk about doing things for yourself...YOU TIME. My you time doesn't consist of unhealthy things ( to both you and your family)...ie...time for you to go out, whilst your husband and children stay at home....going out to bars to meet with "other" people. That is indeed un healthy in many circumstances and often times leaves you needing a family counselor..because your children and/or entire family is suffering. The time for you should always consist of taking time away from the family...time to focus on you...and what is happening in your life...what things do YOU need in order to stay sane..lol....that is if you aren't nuts already ( LOL j/k) Time to take deep breathes and focus on your insides...how am I feeling inside? How is stress affecting me...how I am being perceived by my family....how am I being perceived by my friends? Meditation and relaxation. I do take time for me...at least once a week. I get a massage from one of my fellow masseuses ( WONDERFUL WAY TO TAKE YOU TIME! ) I will met one of my girlfriends in the morning ( after I have dropped my kids off..and we go out for breakfast or coffee. LOVE going to Barnes and Nobles...alot of fun when you have a girlfriend to go with...( great cafe inside as well ) I don't go out at night, unless my family is with me...because that is my time when they are all home....to be WITH them. My ME time is NOT nor will it EVER be more important than my beautiful family. God gave me these beautiful people...and you can bet He can sure take them away in a flash ( I have seen this happen OH so many time ) if you abuse that priveledge. Having a Family IS a PRIVILEDGE that not everyone gets. Be lucky and oh so greatful you have them! NEVER taken them for granted for your own selfish whims and desires. Anywho...sorry I got off the subject. My nighttime...is my time to be with my hubby and kiddoes. NOT in a bar drinking and hoping the next guy over notices me and feeds my insecurities, like so many women and men do. Me time when it does not step into my family time..the best to have.

Now about drinking, I have learned through making some crappy mistakes...that drinking...when you are depressed or angry about something...or have serious unresolved issues ( ie...famnily having to go to counseling because of problems ) only worsens the situation. Alcohol is a depressant...so I never understood how someone could take their ME time and go to a bar, while they are depressed or having difficulty with their family. I am so happy and completely blessed this is not my situation..and I know my hubby is completely blessed that he has a wife who loves her family and loves being home with them. AND now he pushes me to get some ME time...which is so funny...because he used to beg for HE time with his past..lol I am so blessed that my kids are not in therapy because of my unstable mental health...I am so glad that I have not caused trauma to them, during the last few years of my marriage to their dad and afterwards...these two are completely satisifed and happy with botth parents new spouses. We all get along because we do not call each other names and bicker...because neither spouse is still trying to hold onto the past. So, yes...with the healthy atmosphere in my home...I am allowed some ME time...and it is healthy for all involved! Sorry for the long winded speech...this wonderful article in DailyOm inspired me to write. I think this entire audience of readers...and i mean EVERYONE...needs to catch DailyOm.com for the mental health of them and their family...WONDERFUL medicine for the soul. Peace and Blessings to you guys!!!!!!

D

Your Most Vital Commitment
Finding Time For You


Within each of there is a well of energy that must be regularly replenished. When we act as if this well is bottomless, scheduling a long list of activities that fit like puzzle pieces into every minute of every day, it becomes depleted and we feel exhausted, disconnected, and weak. Refilling this well is a matter of finding time to focus on, nurture, and care for ourselves, or "you time." Most of us are, at different times throughout the day, a spouse, a friend, a relative, an employee, a parent, or a volunteer, which means that down time, however relaxing in nature, is not necessarily "you time." Though some people will inevitably look upon "you time" as being selfish, it is actually the polar opposite of selfishness. We can only excel where our outer world affairs are concerned when our own spiritual, physical, and intellectual needs are fulfilled.

Recognizing the importance of "you time" is far easier than finding a place for it in an active, multifaceted lifestyle, however. Even if you find a spot for it in your agenda, you may be dismayed to discover that your thoughts continuously stray into worldly territory. To make the most of "you time," give yourself enough time on either side of the block of time you plan to spend on yourself to ensure that you do not feel rushed. Consider how you would like to pass the time, forgetting for the moment your obligations and embracing the notion of renewal. You may discover that you are energized by creative pursuits, guided meditation, relaxing activities during which your mind can wander, or modes of expression such as writing.

Even if you have achieved a functioning work-life balance, you may still be neglecting the most important part of that equation: you. "You time" prepares you for the next round of daily life, whether you are poised to immerse yourself in a professional project or chores around the home. It also affords you a unique opportunity to learn about yourself, your needs, and your tolerances in a concrete way. As unimportant as "you time" can sometimes seem, it truly is crucial to your wellbeing because it ensures that you are never left without the energy to give of yourself.

DailyOM.com

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Posted: Thursday March 29, 2007, 4:48 am
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Dena Pettingill
female, age 41, married, 5 children
Honolulu, HI, USA
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