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Jul 11, 2012

What do I really want?

Do you know what you really want in your life? Would it help if you had three options to choose from?

What do I really want?

Do you know what you really want in your life? Would it help if you had three options to choose from?

What do I really want in my life? It sounds like a difficult and open ended question. There are many dimensions of my living and I can’t say that I have thought through all of them. It will perhaps help if someone told me what choices I really have! What follows is a list of 30 questions, or rather one question asked 30 times over, from different dimensions of human living, where I choose from 3 options, for what I really want?

Would you like to answer these questions keeping

yourself in the center?

1. What do I really want?

Option-1: Seek out problems in any situation and solve them.

Option-2: Being detached from problems by surrendering to God.

Option-3: Being resolved in all dimensions of my living. Having answers to every why and how in all dimensions of my living.

2. What do I really want?

Option-1: Non-stop fun and excitement, thereby continuous gratification from senses.

Option-2: Being unaffected from happiness or unhappiness. My senses remain subdued for the

pursuit of my spiritual ideal.

Option-3: Continuity of happiness. Being happy myself, I spread happiness. Natural restraint on

senses based on my understanding of reality.

3. What do I really want?

Option-1: High self esteem from what I have - like college degree, money, position, fame, looks, etc.

Option-2: Salvation as absence of ego (self).

Option-3: My self esteem to be from my understanding of reality.

4. What do I really want?

Option-1: I get credit for the favorable outcomes of my actions while others take the blame for

unfavorable outcomes of my actions.

Option-2: I surrender outcomes of my actions to God.

Option-3: I take responsibility for all my actions and their outcomes.

5. What do I really want?

Option-1: Integrity in my thoughts, words and deeds for “whatever” I want to achieve.

Option-2: Integrity in my thoughts, words and deeds based on prescription in my religion.

Option-3: Integrity in my thoughts, words and deeds based on my understanding of reality.

6. What do I really want?

Option-1: Focused thoughts for “whatever” I want to achieve.

Option-2: Thoughtlessness.

Option-3: Clarity in my thoughts with understanding of reality.

7. What do I really want?

Option-1: Continuously strive to arrive at balance between Work and Life (Relationships) – where

“Work” means Earn and “Life” means Fun.

Option-2: Every Work to be in the service of God.

Life to be devoted to God.

Option-3: Realization of Justice in my relationships determines my Work. Work for Justice in

Relationships (Life).

8. What do I really want?

Option-1: Unrestrained sexual conduct.

Option-2: Freedom from marital relationship to be free for pursuing my spiritual ideal.

Option-3: Marital relationship with social acceptance and being faithful to marriage partner for life.

9. What do I really want?

Option-1: Riches and luxuries. “Live life King size.”

Enjoy Life by entertainment.

Option-2: Minimalistic living. Society takes adequate care of my frugal material needs while I pursue my spiritual ideal.

Option-3: Definitiveness about my material needs and living with a genuine sense of prosperity and generosity. Enjoy fruits of my labor, offerings from my relations and justified rewards for my deeds.

Having only what is rightfully mine.

10. What do I really want?

Option-1: Win arguments by every kind of reasoning and convincingly defeat all my opponents.

Option-2: Silence. Everyone to keep quiet.

Option-3: Meaningful dialogues. Reasoning rooted in wisdom to reach a definite conclusion.

11. What do I really want?

Option-1: Obey the Rules of the systems in which I live.

Option-2: Obey the directions of Religion.

Option-3: Understand the underlying principles of the systems in which I live, actively participate in aligning these principles with Reality and living thereby.

12. What do I really want?

Option-1: Punishment to the wrong doer.

Option-2: God will do Justice.

Option-3: Understand the situation of disturbance and restore orderliness by imparting the


13. What do I really want?

Option-1: I have company of those with same background and economic status as mine.

Option-2: I have company of those of same religion as mine.

Option-3: I have company of those who live with understanding of reality.

14. What do I really want?

Option-1: Each person in my family is independent and lives in his or her own world.

Option-2: Family supports me selflessly for my spiritual journey.

Option-3: My family functions as a unit with one resolved mindset and every decision of any family member has full agreement and support from rest of the family members.

15. What do I really want?

Option-1: I continue feeling good in my interactions with others – wherein others fulfill my expectations from them, while they don’t expect any favors from me in return.

Option-2: Stoic detachment.

Option-3: Naturalness (spontaneity) and honesty (openness) in my behavior while being assured about my own feelings and of others. Harmony in my relations (family, society, work, and systems) by my fulfilling their expectations from me and their fulfilling my expectations from them.

16. What do I really want?

Option-1: Learn from my mistakes.

Option-2: Absolution of my sins.

Option-3: Mend my mistakes. Understand the underlying principle so that I don’t make any mistakes in future.

17. What do I really want?

Option-1: Healthy body so that I can enjoy more and win more competitions.

Option-2: Body does not become a hindrance in my spiritual pursuit.

Option-3: Healthy body for the purpose of evidencing my understanding and continuity of human


18. What do I really want?

Option-1: I do not have to be bothered for care of my parents. Parents take care of themselves.

Option-2: I perform my duty towards parents as per my religion.

Option-3: My being responsible towards my parents and elders with a sense of gratitude. My serving them and taking care of them in their old age.

19. What do I really want?

Option-1: Eat tasty food as much as I want.

Option-2: Eat frugally.

Option-3: Eat nutritious and tasty food based on my body’s condition.

20. What do I really want?

Option-1: There is no tradition.

Option-2: Tradition of my religion.

Option-3: Live and further the universally acceptable tradition of humanness for all human beings.

21. What do I really want?

Option-1: Nature does not cause hindrance to my business or fun.

Option-2: I minimize damage to Earth by my living and everyone does the same way.

Option-3: Earth gets enriched by my living on it with prosperity.

22. What do I really want?

Option-1: My children to get education from the most prestigious schools and colleges. Schools

should make children more competitive.

Option-2: The next generation conforms to the tradition of my religion. Schools should teach

according to my religion.

Option-3: Education to enable next generation to live with self confidence which comes from

understanding of reality. Humanization of Education.

23. What do I really want?

Option-1: Everyone in the world to be free to do “whatever” he or she likes to do.

Option-2: Entire world as one family by conforming to my religion.

Option-3: Undivided Society based on Humanness and universal understanding of reality.

24. What do I really want?

Option-1: The systems to deliver their services seamlessly as per my requirements, with maximum automation.

Option-2: The systems to follow guidelines from religion.

Option-3: All the systems to function with the spirit of generous and voluntary participation of human beings.

25. What do I really want?

Option-1: My view of “right” is obeyed by all.

Option-2: I give sermons of my religion in a very effective manner.

Option-3: Being kind and supportive for advancement of others without interfering into their

lives, while giving examples from my own living.

26. What do I really want?

Option-1: I profit in every give and take.

Option-2: I remain detached from every give and take.

Option-3: I, as well as the other person, feel satisfied after every give and take.

27. What do I really want?

Option-1: I get the jobs done without having to acquire any skills and doing any hard work myself.

Option-2: I don’t have to engage in any occupation for my livelihood.

Option-3: My having all the necessary skills and my doing the required hard work for my occupation.

28. What do I really want?

Option-1: Specialization and patenting of all innovations and new learning for my benefit.

Option-2: All innovations and new learning to reconfirm and support what is written in my religious scriptures.

Option-3: Generalization of all innovations and new learning for everyone’s benefit.

29. What do I really want?

Option-1: Making those choices which ensure my own benefit, irrespective of what happens to others.

Option-2: Making choices as prescribed (dos and don’ts) in my religious books.

Option-3: Making those choices which have good of all, including mine.

30. What do I really want?

Option-1: In a situation of conflict, I take the side of “right” and fight the “wrong” with all my might, until the “wrong” is clearly defeated.

Option-2: In a conflict, I take the side of my religion and work with all my might for upholding its


Option-3: In a conflict, I remain rooted in understanding of reality and try to bring orderliness

without taking sides.


Did you try answering the above questionnaire for yourself?

What did you discover?

Do you see any pattern emerging in your responses to these questions?

What was your choice for most questions - Option-

1, Option-2, or Option-3? Did you have an Option-4 for any of these questions – which you

think would be better than the three provided answers?

List down your answers for the 30 questions on a sheet of paper and see if that’s what you really want in your life?

Did you know that you really wanted all this before taking this questionnaire? Is there anything else that you really want, which hasn’t been captured directly or indirectly in this list? Please add that into your list and drop me an email about it. How far or near do you find yourself from what you really want from where you really are at present?

Do you have a plan for achieving what you really want?

Do you think your plan is realistic?

Are you happy with your plan and your progress thus far?

If you have a realistic plan for achieving what you really want in your life and you are happy with your progress thus far – I think, that’s very good state of being and I wish you all the very best for its continuity and your success. Otherwise you have a need to think further. What follows is for those readers (like me) who feel the need to think further.

It does feel uncomfortable if there is a huge gap between what I really want and where I am at

present. This feeling is more acute if I don’t have a realistic plan. This feeling can be replaced with a sense of optimism only if I make a realistic plan for achieving what I really want in my life.

Realistic Plan for Life

How should we go about making a realistic plan for our lives? Planning can be done on the foundation of a worldview. Unknowingly or knowingly, we have a worldview – which is our acceptance about the

following three questions.

(1) What am I?

(2) What is this world?

(3) What is Happiness? (Which is same as asking - What is my purpose? Or Why am I?)

Option-1 responses for all the 30 questions in the questionnaire indicate the worldview of Materialism.

Materialism accepts – (1) I am a body. (2) This world is a resource for body. (3) Happiness is from consumption of resources for sensory pleasure, therefore accumulation of resources should be maximized. Manifestation of this worldview is in the form of consumerism, individualism, inequality, conflict, power centric organization of society, pollution and imbalance in environment.

Option-2 responses indicate the worldview of Idealism/spiritualism. Idealism/spiritualism accepts –

“I am” is an illusion. World is an illusion. God is the only Truth. Happiness is upon freedom from the illusion of “I” and “world” and being one with God.

Manifestation of this worldview is in the form of detachment towards self and society, society mired with blind faith in myths, religion (dogmas) based social organization.

Option-3 responses indicate the worldview of Coexistentialism (Madhyasth Darshan).

Coexistentialism accepts – I am a human being ascombined expression of jeevan (conscious unit) and body. Existence is coexistence. Happiness is from understanding coexistence and living accordingly, thus fulfilling human purpose. Manifestation of this worldview is in the form of resolution in self, prosperity in family, harmony in society and balance in nature.

Read on, if your choice is Coexistentialism (Option- 3). You can get more details on Materialism

(Option-1) or Idealism/Spiritualism (Option-2) from other sources.

The Option-3 is for Real Coexistentialism based on Madhyasth Darshan (Jeevan Vidya) is propounded by Shree A. Nagraj, Amarkantak. It proclaims - Option-3 is natural expectation of every human being, and there is provision in existence for its fulfillment.

Madhyasth Darshan (Jeevan Vidya) is a proposal for understanding existence (all that is). The postulations of this proposal are under three headings:

(1) Knowledge of Existence

(2) Knowledge of Jeevan (self)

(3) Knowledge of Conduct of Humanness.

The evidence of this proposal’s truth is human beings who are living this understanding, indicated by

Option-3 choices in this article. First person who declared himself to be “the living evidence” of this proposal is Shree A. Nagraj himself. Now there are many people who have understood this proposal and are in the process of evidencing it in their living.

What are the steps of this path for achieving what I really want?

Listen to the proposal fully – without having any prior references. Prior references would essentially be either Materialism or Idealism/Spiritualism.

Mull over it - to become assured of its reasoning and consistency, and envision whether this proposal can achieve all the Option-3 choices for what I really want, for myself and for everyone else. Having got assured thus, decide whether I want to understand, accept and live this proposal or not. There is no compulsion. It is my call, whether I want to achieve what I really want or not. Whenever there is doubt, one needs to go back to what I really want? For that is the starting point.

It is important to note that understanding, accepting and living are indivisible and they happen in parallel.

To understand this proposal, one needs to accept and live by it. The acceptance of this proposal, as it turns out, does not become an imposition on oneself.

Having decided to understand, accept and live this proposal - the next step is its Study.

Study is the process of recognizing realities from the words used for indicating them. The words used in this proposal have been defined to indicate realities in existence. The student recognizes realities using his imagination with able guidance of teacher, whilepracticing to live according to the proposal. Study results in realization in coexistence – which is the point of imagination’s fulfillment. Realization is not same as experience. Experience happens in the purview of senses, while realization is in knowledge of the unchanging laws of existence. Realization in coexistence is the capability of evidencing truth in human living and thereby achieving what one really wants.

Evidence the realization in everyday living. Human being with such understanding and realization

becomes able to inspire others from examples of his/her own living, so that others can also achieve what they really want in their lives.

For more information: 

Visibility: Everyone
Posted: Wednesday July 11, 2012, 6:55 am
Tags: life truth aim desire [add/edit tags]

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Roshani S.
female, age 39, married
Raipur, Chhattisgarh, India
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