When people ask, "How are you doing?", what are they REALLY saying? Do they really want to know how an individual is doing or feeling? Or are they just working towards a sorry attempt at starting a conversation? Because when people ask me how I am doing, I tell them the truth. I don't sugar coat it. I don't make something up. And I don't try to give an elaborately- detailed speech of how wonderful my life is. So as you can imagine, I don't get asked that question very often these days.
In all honesty, right now my life is not so hot. For two years, I have been struggling to keep my fiance and myself from becoming a statistic on the homeless/jobless/starving lists. And up until recently, I had been succeeding pretty well at just barely getting by. At one time, we were actually homeless, but I held two jobs AND was going to school full-time. Only in America. But the good 'ol days are finally over and I am about to the point where I can no longer stay afloat in the sea of poor economy. Two years strong and now we are about to lose it all. Still homeless, couldn't keep up with the demands of college in our economic situation, the car eventually gave out, so had to choose between my two jobs because I couldn't walk to both without being consistently late. Then, my fiance came into money (not like major bucks or anything, though) - but we didn't plan accordingly, so that lasted all of about two seconds. In other words after getting caught up on bills/debtsand got our car fixed; we packed car up with what little we had left after losing pretty much everything, and headed West. Yes, people we were gonna find good jobs, get a decent place to live, and eventually settle into a nice little comfy routine of living a normal life ........ ..........in Las Vegas, Nevada.
Can ANYONE tell me what we did wrong here? There are actually about eight answers to this question, so please feel free to share. haha.
Anyway, Here I ...well, technically here we are now. Back to homeless. Back to hungry. Back to on the verge of losing everything. And now, I don't even have a job; which means I can no longer afford the car; which is about to be our only source of shelter ...until the repo people come and tow it away. And without an address, you can't even donate blood or plasma for cash in most cities these days. What a fine path I've chosen for myself. I bet my grandparents would be so proud. And ALL I can do is wonder what I've done to deserve all of this. I mean, I understand what was done this last time to get to my current situation. Lets just say though, that I'M not the big gambler. For the record. But what I can't figure it out is why things happened the way they did in the beginning ...two years ago. Things were going great then all of a sudden all heck broke loose and lost almost everything.
I don't know. I'm not sure what blogs are suppose to look like or be about, but I'm pretty sure this isn't it. So please forgive me for my strange ramblings. All I can say is at least I can be thankful for free Wifi.