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Jan 9, 2013

Why do egocentrics hate themselves so much? Why are they always seeking escape from who and what they are? What’s so bad about egocentricity? what is the driving need to find some ideological exit door to some utopic afterlife?

Get back to where you once belonged...

Oh sure, you’re self-centered and self-absorbed, demanding attention, victim to your desires. You’re oblivious, laughingly ignorant and often cruel and, even in your most charitable exchanges with other people, there is not a nano-second when you’re not thinking of your “self" (you never lose sight of "you"). The stress of keeping the scattered and unrelated pieces of your loosely defined and deluded self-concept together is often literally exhausting, in the recognition it could all crumble into a heap with the slightest change in the weather (and frequently does just that, as you scramble to re-connect the pieces once again).

But that’s the nature of egocentricity.

Why resist your nature?

What should “you” be? Trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent?

Dang, what a drag, but go ahead, if that's where the circuits lead you. “You” can be that too, depending on how you’re wired up in the noggin.’

Nevertheless, one of the most universal aspects of all egocentrics IS their omnipresent desire to escape themselves. To transcend or transform. To be something other than egocentric. The incessant desire for self-development into something they are not is indicative of a universal disgust with egocentricity. You can never truly love yourself, simply because it's not in your nature and besides, "you" invented the concept of "love" in the first place. Does nature give a fook about "love"?

But even all that is folded up into the nature of egocentricity.

Does an elephant wish to leap like a gazelle? Does the squirrel constantly suffer through its neurotic pursuit of nuts, wishing life would be better if it could only find truffles? Are bears incessantly annoyed about shitting in the woods, hoping one day for conveniently located porta-potties?

So why do egocentrics want to be other than egocentric? Nature provides NO choice to it’s progeny. Everything does what it’s supposed to do, living out its nature, and the chief preoccupation of egocentrics is to make “important” choices. Doesn't matter that your choices are useless and deluded. You still gotta make 'em anyway.

Hence, the ultimate nature of egocentricity is to make choices in the belief its choices matter. You do this everyday and you don’t even think about it cause it’s as natural as a bear shitting in the woods.

Ever notice how your choices, though seemingly different in form, seem to repetitively give you the same content? Oh sure, you could win the lottery and get all jiggy for a few days. But eventually, the neuro-circuitry takes over and you’ll drop back to your baseline and be what you’re wired up to be, experiencing the world as you always have.

However, there are some egocentrics that couldn’t give a rat’s ass about choices, knowing that choices made are not at all up to him/her (and they don't sheit in the woods as far as I'm aware. At least not regularly).

This type of life-engagement has been referred to as Infinite Play (as opposed to Finite Play in which making “right” choices is absolutely critical to egocentric well-being and takes up ones entire existence). Of course, Infinite Players make egocentric choices, but they tend to react equally to both good and bad choices, which tends to dissolve the difference (hard to describe, cause an Infinite Player never admits to being one).

They tend to make choices with little concern for outcome in the recognition that it’s not up to them, so why worry.

Infinite Players accept egocentricity in all it’s glorious, hellacious bullsheit. I watched one just the other day get all pissed off and cursed his head off cause his phone went dead on an “important” call. He then immediately laughed about how well he did 'pissed off,' responding, "damn, did ya see that! ha!"

Infinite Players play with their egocentricity and are not played by it.

Many complain about being victim to the world, but Infinite Players know that they can only be victim to egocentricity. The world has nothing to do with it. Hence, they are neither victims of the world or their egocentricity.

Infinite Players recognize that even though they will continue to keep ‘doing’ sheit, like they always have, there is absolutely nothing that need be done.

So go ahead, do what you feel compelled to do, because it’s not up to you. You're gonna do it anyway.

Just let the days go by….

You may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
You may find yourself in another part of the world
You may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
You may find yourself in a beautiful house with a beautiful wife
You may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?
Letting the days go by, let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by, water flowing underground
Into the blue again after the money's gone
Once in a lifetime, water flowing underground
You may ask yourself, how do I work this?
You may ask yourself, where is that large automobile?
You may tell yourself, this is not my beautiful house
You may tell yourself, this is not my beautiful wife
Letting the days go by, let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by, water flowing underground
Into the blue again, after the money's gone
Once in a lifetime, water flowing underground
Same as it ever was, same as it ever was, same as it ever was, same as it ever was
Same as it ever was, same as it ever was, same as it ever was, same as it ever was  

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Posted: Wednesday January 9, 2013, 12:16 pm
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mike S.
male, age 52, separated, 2 children
Effort, PA, USA
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