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Feb 9, 2013

Yesterday one of my colleagues had this funny black t-shirt on:

[The motto of this t-shirt is: "SARCASM - 
Because beating the crap out of people is illegal"]

I found the t-shirt brilliant and a perfect fit for the guy, who is a very funny and friendly and yet sharp person, if he feels like it. The motto of the t-shirt made me smile immediately and I thought that it is actually true, that we use sarcasm in order to fight against someone without striking or beating him or her. Not physically, at least.

We are used to be sarcastic most of the time, or even all the time, and for a lot of people this is absolutely normal. Sometimes we are sarcastic without even realizing it and we don't notice that our words can sound offending or too hard for someone else. 

While being sarcastic we are fighting, as already said, but actually we are above all self-protective. It can happen that we feel threatened by a situation, a person or a sentence. We are scared, maybe unconsciously. And then we react defensively... 

Sarcasm is an amazingly effective strategy in such situations.
The English playwright Edward Bulwer-Lytton already said in 1839 that "The pen is mightier than the sword" and we can be sure that our words can strike harder than a punch if we want. They could hit hard and be painful and distressing. They could be remembered and be able to provoke the same pain over and over again, every time the person would think about them again.

It's not possible to eat your own words. If you say something offensive to someone else, the words will be there forever. Sometimes it is possible to make it up, sometimes it isn't. As soon as you say something, the words are not yours any longer. The person you are talking to owns those same words now and it's not up to you any longer, how the person will react or what this person will think. You can't foresee how the person will use them, if in your favour or against you.

Are you ready to take the risk?
Is the risk worth it?

Personally, I am not ready to take this risk. At last, I am slowly learning that it's better saying anything, if I can't say something nice or if I am too mad at someone. I don't have to have the last word every time. 

Otherwise I would only regret anything I would say. There is no undoing if it comes to sarcasm and angry words. Life is short and I prefer to smile. 
What about you?

ps. Thanks to Ozzy for the great pic!

--
Gestern hatte einer meiner Kollegen ein lustiges T-Shirt an. Man konnte darauf lesen: "SARKASMUS - Weil jemanden grün und blau zu schlagen gesetzlich verboten ist".

Ich fand das T-Shirt genial und sehr passend für den Typ, der sehr lustig und freundlich ist, aber auch scharfzüngig sein kann, wenn er möchte.
Das Motto auf dem T-Shirt brachte mich sofort zum Lachen. Ich dachte daran, dass es tatsächlich so ist, dass wir Sarkasmus benutzen, um gegen jemanden zu kämpfen, ohne die Person zu schlagen oder zu verprügeln. Nicht körperlich, zumindest.

Wir sind daran gewöhnt, den größten Teil der Zeit oder sogar die ganze Zeit sarkastisch zu sein. Viele Leute finden das absolut normal. Manchmal sind wir sarkastisch ohne es wahr zu nehmen und wir merken nicht, dass unsere Wörter sich für jemand anderen offensiv oder zu hart anhören können.

Indem wir sarkastisch sind kämpfen wir. Vor allem schützen wir uns damit aber. Manchmal passiert es, dass wir uns von einer Situation, einer Person oder einem Satz bedroht fühlen. Dann haben wir Angst, vielleicht auch unbewusst. Und deswegen reagieren wir defensiv.

Sarkasmus ist in solchen Situationenein unglaublich effektive Strategie.
Der englische Dramatiker Edward Bulwer-Lytton sagte schon 1839, dass "die Feder mächtiger als das Schwert" ist und wir können sicher sein, dass unsere Wörter härter als ein Faustschlag einschlagen können, wenn wir wollen. Sie würden treffen und wären scherzhaft und bedauerlich. Man würde sich daran erinnern und unsere Wörter würden jedes Mal die gleichen Schmerzen verursachen, immer wieder, wenn die Person darüber noch mal nachdenken würde.

Es ist nicht möglich, alles zurückzunehmen. Wenn Ihr etwas Beleidigendes zu jemandem sagt, werden die Wörter für immer da sein. Manchmal ist es möglich, Frieden zu schließen, manchmal aber nicht. Sobald Ihr etwas sagt, gehören Euch die Wörter nicht mehr. Die Person mit der Ihr redet hat jetzt die gleichen Wörter und es ist nicht mehr von Euch abhängig, wie die Person reagieren wird oder was sie denken wird. Ihr könnt nicht wirklich damit rechnen, wie die Person sie benutzen wird, für Euch oder gegen Euch.

Seid Ihr bereit, so ein Risiko einzugehen?
Lohnt sich das Risiko für Euch?

Ich muss sagen, dazu bin ich nicht bereit. Endlich lerne ich langsam, dass es besser ist, nichts zu sagen, wenn ich nichts Nettes sagen kann oder wenn ich zu sauer auf jemanden bin. Ich muss nicht jedes Mal das letzte Wort haben. 

Ich würde danach sonst nur bereuen, was ich gesagt hätte
Es gibt kein Zurück mehr, wenn es um Sarkasmus und böse Wörter geht. Das Leben ist kurz und lieber lächele ich als Angst zu haben. 
Was denkt Ihr?

P.S. Danke Ozzy für das coole Bild! 

--
Ieri uno dei miei colleghi aveva addosso una t-shirt molto buffa, che diceva: "SARCASMO - Dato che picchiare a sangue la gente è illegale".

Ho trovato la t-shirt geniale e perfetta per il mio collega, che è una persona divertente e molto gentile ma anche pungente quando vuole. Il motto mi ha fatto subito sorridere e mi sono ritrovata a pensare che è proprio così, che usiamo il sarcasmo per combattere con qualcuno senza prenderlo a calci o a pugni. Per lo meno fisicamente.

Siamo abituati a fare del sarcasmo la maggior parte del tempo o persino tutto il tempo e per un sacco di persone si tratta di una pratica assolutamente normale. A volte facciamo del sarcasmo senza nemmeno rendercene conto e non ci accorgiamo che per qualcun altro le nostre parole possono suonare offensive o troppo dure.

Nel fare del sarcasmo stiamo combattendo, come già detto, ma in realtà ci stiamo più che altro difendendo. Può accadere che ci si senta minacciati da una situazione, una persona, una frase. Siamo spaventati, magari inconsapevolmente. E così reagiamo mettendoci sulla difensiva...

Il sarcasmo è una strategia incredibilmente efficace, in simili situazioni.
Il drammaturgo inglese Edward Bulwer-Lytton già nel 1839 affermava che "La penna è più potente della spada" e possiamo essere sicuri che le nostre parole sapranno colpire più duro di quanto farebbe un pugno, se vogliamo. Saprebbero colpire ed essere dolorose e fonte di imbarazzo. Verrebbero ricordate e sarebbero in grado di provocare lo stesso dolore ancora e ancora, ogni volta che la persona dovesse ripensarci.

Non è possibile rimangiarsi quanto si è detto. Se dite qualcosa di offensivo a un'altra persona, le parole rimarranno per sempre: a volte è possibile fare la pace, a volte no. Non appena dite qualcosa, le parole non vi appartengono più e la persona a cui state parlando possiede ora quelle stesse parole. Non dipende più da voi in che modo la persona reagirà o cosa penserà. Non potete prevedere come le userà, a vostro favore o contro di voi.

Siete pronti a correre il rischio?
Pensate ne valga la pena

Per quanto mi riguarda, io non sono pronta. Sto finalmente imparando, gradualmente, che se non posso dire nulla di gentile o che se sono troppo arrabbiata con qualcuno è meglio non dire niente. Non devo sempre avere l'ultima parola.

Dopo averlo fatto potrei solo rimpiangere quello che direi, ma non c'è modo di tornare indietro, quando si ha a che fare con sarcasmo e parole dette con rabbia.
La vita è breve e io preferisco sorridere. E voi?

ps. Grazie a Ozzy per la foto!

Tags: Sarcasm, Sarkasmus, Sarcasmo, Verbal provocation, Verbale Provokationen, Provocare verbalmente, Edward Bulwer-Lytton, Quotes, Zitate, Citazioni

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