After getting kicked out of two groups and having an equal or better amount of posts deleted I've decided to respond to this here. One group host has sent me a request to join the group leaving me wonder about what are they thinking. One who deleted my post asks where I am cause I quit posting there. Looking in on the posts of those in one group I was kicked out of only strengthens my faith in God cause surely it's hell to be around the mentalities that communicate as they do. Perhaps they hit a nerve or two in me which came from growing up with a mother who complained constantly. All any of us could do is feel sorry for her but over time that sympathy switched to feeling sorry for ourselves for having to be part of the complaining. I know I didn't understand my father's wanting to have my mother committed to an institution when he brought it up but then after he died that whack aside of the head sunk in. My mother told me he said to her he had nothing to live for. She told him he had her. That was the problem. Her complaining held us all hostage. At my father's funeral a guy come up to me and told me he wouldn't offer me any sympathy cause any man that lived as good as my father did, didn't need any sympathy. My mother died peeing and crapping in a diaper living in a county run institution true to her cause, complaining right up till the end.
Now our country and world is in deep trouble as we've been over ridden with this focus on just everything wrong with every body and everything. We choose to follow leaders who profess the most skills with the behavior and then follow up with complaining about them. It started for me with my first female relationship in this world, my mother. I had only one sister who also constantly complained. As a child I'd hear my piece of pie was bigger than hers so being a hot head I'd slide the pie over to her saying, "Here take the pie." Then walk away from the super table. She died obese and with some disease that went with obesity.
Without realizing it, I write that it's only natural that I'd subconsciously choose to marry someone that carried on with letting me know what's wrong with me.The part that really hurt about this is that before she died she wrote that it was time to make amends because she had been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. Is it any wonder that my first thoughts when I read this went to all the times I tried to get her to quit smoking and how worthless I felt with even trying to make sense to her. She also included how I was always so angry. I mean I made into some worthless piece of crap to others by her behavior and her complaining to others about how bad I was and I'm not suppose to be angry! What part of my logic isn't dialed into not working. She's dying of lung cancer telling me how she wished she could've lived long enough to see our grand children graduate. Surely God must've had the ultimate plan for me when it came to learning how to love cause there was no doubt in my mind this was it.
I could elaborate on this as our youngest daughter committed suicide and left behind five journals plus I have letters from her and my ex-wife from both of them right up till their deaths. My wife and I had absolutely zero trust or respect for one another and that contributed to our daughter's hopelessness of having nobody to trust or respect. Of course I'm sure these group hosts are smarter than I am and understand this when they delete my posts and kick me out of their groups so they can get back to complaining about what's wrong with everything and everybody. After all Care2 has stated their purpose for these groups is to make the world a better place to live and they're doing that for sure.
I remember setting in a restaurant once by a bunch of female waitresses who talked about the pains of child birth and just about every other problem females go through in this world. It almost seemed they were directing the conversation at me and finally I asked, "Why do you go have a sex change if you've got it so bad. I mean it just so wonderful being a male without any problems like you've got." I wondered how many of them understood I had to constantly make decisions in life that were based on what's the best for everybody in my life and not just myself like they were doing.
The strange thing is that I watched my father lose his will to live, my daughter kill her self and by own self just plain and simply give up with another from this behavior only to wonder am I the only one who feels this way. We have an elected president who has destroyed the world with starting a war with this behavior and now the world is hostage to that behavior. Why have so many enabled it and supported it by behaving exactly the same way? Is this the only way humans can make themselves look right by inconsiderately making others look wrong?