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It's March and I'm back in San Diego
Mar 27, 2008

It’s been almost a month since I have returned to San Diego from Mumbai.  People said I would experience culture shock going to India, but in fact, I experienced greater culture shock returning to the US.  Mumbai is a very busy and crowded city.  Western influence is creeping in everywhere.  But still, it’s the United States that degradation is evident everywhere.  From the abundance of fitness centers in this town, to the abundance of drunken people on the streets on Friday nights.  It seems like there is not a single person that cares about anything more than enjoyment of this present lifetime and bodily conception.  While my trip to India only included a stay in Mumbai, I didn’t get to make the customary pilgrimages to Vrndavan, or even Mayapur, I knew that there would be certain revelations, and that they would not be immediately evident.  The path of Krishna Consciousness is long, and one does need to keep their eyes, ears, and hearts open to hear what Krishna is trying to say to us.  He speaks to us constantly.  He shows us things all the time.  My senses have become much more spiritualized to enable me to perceive His messages.   

Mumbai was a trip alright, but I loved it.  I had no difficulty in acclimating to the culture.  I never had a moment where I felt unsafe or out of place.  Of course I liked some places better than others, but that’s only natural.  The people though, the people were amazing.  They are all so fresh and natural.  They don’t have the pretenses that Americans seem to have.  Even though I did not speak their language, they were all so friendly, helpful and respectful.  I may be imagining it, but there seemed to be an inner joy and peace in most of them, especially the children, that is untainted by western conditioning and culture. 

I wanted to stay in Mumbai, oh how much I wanted to stay there.  I learned how to get around, and even applied and interviewed for a job there.  Not yet, Krishna said.  So I returned to San Diego as planned.  Since returning I have gotten confirmation that San Diego is where I should be right now.    The women here even though they are not full time temple devotees as I am, really do need someone here to give them stability and welcome at the temple .So much confusion, changes, and lack of direction was experienced by all of them in my absence.  Could I have prevented it by being here?  I’m not sure, and I don’t want to think that I’m that important; I can only hope that maybe I could have been of some help.  One woman told me that everything was so crazy while I was gone, and now that I’m back everything is so much calmer and comfortable again.  I am just taking it as Krishna’s message to me that I am needed here.  That is a wonderful feeling, to know that Krishna wants and needs you in His service.  Another gift Krishna bestowed on me was so unexpected.  After I had been back a week the temple president asked me if we go do some room arranging.  There are more men than women and he wanted to move the men into the ladies quarters and move the ladies into a smaller area that was used by men.  At first it seemed like a reduction, but in effect, it was a wonderful, perfect move.  I now have a much sunnier and nicer room more centrally located.  In fact, I think I’ve got the best room in the house.  Again, I don’t want to get all puffed up and self-important, but again, I’m taking it to mean that Krishna wants me to be here and be a vital part of this community.  Even though my room seems to have the best of everything, it has all been given to me, with no requesting on my part.  I am trying to be always mindful that none of this is mine, not to get too attached to this place, but how can I help it?  Krishna has been so good to me, He gives me everything. 

I’m still trying to find my niche in Krishna Consciousness.  I work hard here, I do a lot of devotional service, but it’s not enough.  One can get very complacent in their role, but I know I need to do more.  Preaching is what we are all called to do.  It’s all coming together with things that we’re studying in Gita class, to things that have been happening in my life.  We just read in class the purport from Bhagavad-Gita 13:8-12 

Nonviolence is generally taken to mean not killing or destroying the body, but actually nonviolence means not to put others into distress. People in general are trapped by ignorance in the material concept of life, and they perpetually suffer material pains. So, unless one elevates people to spiritual knowledge, one is practicing violence. One should try his best to distribute real knowledge to the people, so that they may become enlightened and leave this material entanglement. That is nonviolence.  

We all need to share this absolute truth that we know.  To keep it to ourselves is unacceptable.  My dear friend has been telling me since I’ve known him that I should always chant.  Everywhere he goes, he plays his kartals and chants.  Harinam is the most effective form of awakening God consciousness.  To this ends, Krishna also sent me another gift.  When I was in Mumbai I had the good fortune to meet a female Prabhupada disciple from Australia, Surabhi devi dasi, and spend some time with her.  We were shopping and I was looking for kartals of my own.  She vetoed every choice, so I went home without any.  A mutual friend that lives in San Diego was also in India and he returned later than I did.  After he returned, he handed me a pair of kartalas and told me they were from Surabhi.  Perfectly beautiful and the best tone I have ever heard.  So now that I am armed with my new kartals, I have no excuse not to go out and chant.  I’ve put them to good use on more than one harinam already too.  And preaching, actually talking to people about what you know to be the truth.  Just today, I have been approached by two different people one on each of the websites I am active on.  Both inquiring.  Krishna wants me to preach.  Krishna wants us all to tell others about Him.   He’s giving me every chance in the book to serve Him.  As I have said previously, I am so fortunate that He wants me and needs me in His service. 

It’s not easy, this path of total surrender in devotional service.  But it is worthwhile.  The most purposeful thing I have ever done.  I just pray that I never forget where everything is emanating from.
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Posted: Thursday March 27, 2008, 7:37 pm
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Subhadra Shutler
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female, age 53, married, 3 children
Vallabh Vidyanagar, Gujarat, India
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