Life is sexually transmitted. And it's terminal....
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Men have two emotions:
Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich. If he's eating a second sandwich, guess which comes next!
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day, teach a person to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks. (Caveat: Unless the computer breaks down)
Some people are like a Slinky . Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile
when you shove them down the stairs. They always seem to bounce back.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to Criticism.
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00? Sounds like Republican math to me.....
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is Weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
And The Number 1 Thought For 2008 :
We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where millions of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of Immigration - or have the heads checked of those in charge Immigration - perhaps they are a "tad" paranoid
"Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers.
What you do today, might Burn Your Ass Tomorrow."
Wine vs. water
To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine... and those who don't.
As Ben Franklin said:
"In wine there is wisdom,
in beer there is freedom,
in water there is bacteria."
In a number of carefully controlled trials,
scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day,
at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than
1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. coli) - bacteria found in feces.
In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.
However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer
(or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to
go through a purification process of boiling,
filtering and/or fermenting.
Water = Poop,
Wine = Health.
it's better to drink wine and talk stupid,
than to drink water and be full of shit.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information:
I'm doing it as a public service.