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Blog: The Night I Almost Went to Jail  



It happened one night in March after 9:00 pm. Although we were already on Daylight Savings Time, it was dark out. As I was ready to cross the street to get to the bus station, all of the buses took off-including the ones going through my neighborhood.

I went inside the building a the bus station, used the restroom, and waited, hoping for another fleet of buses to arrive to take people home.

A police officer and the bus drivers's supervisor asked everyone to leave the building so they could lock up. I asked if there were anymore buses coming. The answer was no except for one called the Blackthorn Express. This one doesn't stop until it gets to its destination, which is a lot further away from the bus station than where I lived at the time.

So, not having enough cab fare nor a friend to come and pick me up, I didn't know what else to do but to refuse to leave the building.

I tried telling the supervisor and the cop this, but the cop said to "Take it outside" and even asked me if I wanted to go to jail. While I was still refusing to leave the building, the officer got on his radio to get another cop to get me and put me in jail.

For some reason or other, I stepped outside of the building but still begged for some way to get home. Since I left the building the other cop didn't pick me up and the supervisor figured out something. He told me he'd tell the driver of the Blackthorn to drop me off at a corner in my neighborhood, but it would be "just this once." That way only had two blocks to walk home in the dark.

I called a friend of mine when I got home and told her what happened after I had arrived home.

"You don't want to go to jail!" she said. She was right; I didn't.

I am one of many Americans on Social Security because of a psychiatric condition and can't afford a car. I didn't have anyone else to call at the time to pick me up and not enough cab fare. I didn't know what else to do but to refuse to leave the building and go to jail over it or walk home and risk being raped or attacked.

I may be more stable than a lot of mentally ill people but do feel in some ways lacking in social and coping skills.

A friend of mine whose psychiatric problems are similar to mine was given a Trac Phone for her birthday by her parents and told to call them if she got stranded. My parents were already deceased and probably would have refused to pick me up if I called them and asked them to. I only had the Good Lord and the supervisor to help me out.

I sometimes feel that I'm falling through the cracks when it comes to services provided by my mental health center. Unfortunately, other clients who are much sicker than myself also fall through the cracks or get treated like criminals.

Some of the problems we have can cause us to be incarcerated if we don't receive the appropriate care for them.

One of my friends was hearing voices telling her to steal items when at the grocery store. Her shoplifting resulted in her being told by the manager never to go back to the store.

Another mentally ill friend had a bladder problem and urinated in the middle of a parking lot. She was taken to jail for it. (Fortunately the doctor later prescribed diapers for this problem.) If I couldn't hold it long enough to make it to the restroom I'd try my best to hide myself instead of doing it out in the open.

Others may be picked up because there homeless and have to sleep in places where they're not welcome to such as a park bench. They may steal to survive or relieve themselves outside-not because they're incontinent-but because they don't have access to a toilet. In fact I know a mentally ill lady who spent two years living outside because her Social Security was cut off and she had no money to pay the rent with.

Some may be aggressive and have problems with anger management. In fact I know several people who were court ordered to attend an anger management group that's offered at the mental health center I go to. Such aggressive behavior for any reason can get you locked up.

There are three apartment buildings owned by my mental health provider, but not everyone's able to live by themselves even with the center's support. There are only four group homes with only eight beds each. Those beds are very much in demand by patients being released by the state hospitals.

In fact I was told in 1996 that the closest state hospital was going to be closed and converted to a juvenile facility. At this time the juveniles and the mental hospital share the property.

Just because a person's illness causes them to sleep, urinate, or defecate somewhere where others don't want them to, steal, or get violent doesn't make them criminals-they just need help! For crying out loud! Give them a break! They don't belong in a facility for criminals-they belong in a hospital or somewhere where they can get the help they need.

Many of them don't ask for help or accept it when offered or recommended. So they may not voluntarily sign themselves into a hospital when they need it. And-despite the rule that one can be involuntarily committed for being a danger to self or others-some of the damage may be done.

In fact I've heard there's a higher percentage of mentally ill people in jail or prison than in the general population.

Something's not right, and we need to take a closer look at what's going on and educate others.

That's why I joined this group and admitted online that I did something that almost got me in jail.

Posted: Wednesday May 21, 2008, 6:47 pm
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Mary Neal (105) 		Tuesday August 19, 2008, 11:39 pm
Dear Paula! Thank you so much for sharing this story. More people need to know that it is very easy for mental patients who did no intentional crime at all to wind up in jail. Even those who did knowingly commit crimes may have lacked the self control and the clarity of mind to make good decisions. I am so glad you were not incarcerated. We must do better than homelessness, jail, and death for our fellow human beings who have this health issue.

Sharing your story is so very important, Paula. You are helping others to overcome the stigma attached to mental illness and I hope that they, too, will speak out against the unfair practice of jailing people just for being sick!

As you probably know, sometimes family members are also stigmatized right along with their loved ones who are diffable. When I was a child, my siblings and I suffered teasing because of my brother, Larry. Families of diffable persons often go through things like this. But I will not let the stigma stop me from demanding justice for Larry and justice for the 1.25 million citizens who are locked up today as prisoners, when they should actually either be home with their families, or if their conditions are not under control yet, they should be in hospital environments getting treated.

You keep counting on the Good Lord, my dear friend. He will see you through although your parents are not with you and were apparently less supportive than your friend's parents when they were with you.

There are many people who deal with mental illness and continue to thrive, usually under care, just like any other health condition needs care!

Just like people who were abused as children came forward and spoke out, and as women who suffered domestic violence came forward and spoke out, there is a crucial need for mental patients like you and their families who love them, like my family, to come forward and speak out! At one time, it was taboo to talk about incest or child abuse or domestic violence by a spouse. But these people overcame their fear of the stigma and were willing to use their experiences to educate the public about the problems like you are doing now! Like I am doing now as a family member! And like I hope many others will do, also.

Until we get over our fear of the stigma and demand change, Paula, many other innocent men and women, boys and girls will continue to be warehoused in prisons for having a health condition!

Blessings, and thank you so much for sharing. Please forgive me for the late response, Paula, but I truly appreciate what you are doing, and I pray that as we work together with other human rights activists, we will be a vehicle for change for many thousands of patients and their families.

Blessings,

Mary


Patricia McCaskill (57) 		Sunday September 7, 2008, 2:55 pm
Thank you for sharing your story. Daily, I see folks on the street that end up there due to the apathy of others and 'the powers that be'. Today in the good ol' USA our Mental Health facilities are called Prison/jail. It is a horrific fact and shames us as a natiion.
Shaking off of the igorance-driven stigma attached to mental health issues and having more and more folks speak up...only then will we hopefully see a more compassionate attitude and changes in our system.

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AUTHOR: PAULA XENOPUS

female, age 49
single
S Bend, IN, USA
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