I remember the moments when you would look at me, those big blue eyes shining so innocently, so sweet, so full of love and so unsure of the world around you. I remember your earliest tears, how I just wanted to keep you as close to me as I could and rock those tears away. I remember those first steps how you smiled so proud of such an accomplishment and than for the first time proudly letting go of everything and stepping for the first time into my arms. So proud so sweet and innocent. I turn you around and you walk towards daddy he looks as proud of you as you are of yourself. It's so exciting to us that you have to keep doing it walking from one thing to another clapping when you get there and giggling at us giggling. Those big beautiful blue eyes I remember thinking I have such a beautiful little girl. Soon you were off to school, making friends becoming independant. I do it mummy, I do it. Already you were growing independant wanting to do things for yourself, my little girl so fiercly independant always taking the long way because you wouldn't do it my way. Wasn't long you were talking about boys, I had to remind myself you were getting older, wow boys I can do this. With booys came more need for independance. My babies are so growing up. Sometimes though baby girl I look and what I see is the baby you were and my heart aches. I want to still be like the days we would spend at the park, I want to be needed, I want to fix it or make your hurts all go away. I want to protect you from the pain I know you'll go through, the lessons your going to suffer through, and your so like I was, I don't want you to be who I was. Your too beautiful and smart, I want you to be who I dreamn't for you to be. Your are headstrong, beautiful, loving, smart, articulate, you could go so far Please don't follow the path I did, I've done so much to try and keep you all from that path, it terrifies me to even think of you on that path, the other path is clear take it please. I love you my sweet big beautiful, intelligent baby girl. I may not be the best mom but I work very hard to be the best mom I can with the faculties I have and I will always love you and your siblings regardless of anything, ANYTHING!
I love you baby girl and I am always here, ALWAYS...