SOB's Collected Ramblings 

Forwarding E-mail
Twelve-Step Program For People Who Reflexively
Forward Every Hoax Mail Or Chain Letter They Receive

1. I will NOT get bad luck, lose my friends, or lose my mailing lists if I DON'T forward an email
2. I will NOT hear any music or see a taco dog, if I do forward an e-mail.
3. Bill Gates is NOT going to send me money, Victoria Secret doesn't know anything about a gift certificate they're supposed to send me.
4. Ford will NOT give me a 50% discount even if I forward my e-mail to more than 50 people.
5. I will NEVER receive gift certificates, coupons, or freebies from Coca Cola, Cracker Barrel, Old Navy, or anyone else if I send an e-mail to 10 people.
6. I will NEVER see a pop-up window if I forward an e-mail; NEVER-- EVER.
7. There is NO SUCH THING as an e-mail tracking program, and I am not STUPID enough to think that someone will send me $100 for forwarding an e-mail to 10 or more people.
8. There is NO kid with cancer through the Make-a-Wish program in England or anywhere else collecting anything.
9. The government does not have an email postage bill in Congress called 901B (or whatever they named it this week) that, if passed, will enable them to charge us 5 cents for every e-mail we send.
10. There will be NO cool dancing, singing, waving, colorful flowers, characters, or program that I will receive immediately after I forward an e-mail. NONE, ZIP, ZERO,NADA.
11. The American Red Cross will NOT donate 50 cents to certain individual dying of some never-heard-of disease for every e-mail address I send this to. The American Red Cross RECEIVES donations.
12. And finally, I WILL NOT let others guilt me into sending things by telling me I am not their friend or that I don't believe in the right religion. If God wants to send me a message, I believe the bushes in my yard will burn before He picks up a PC to pass it on.

Now, repeat this to yourself until you have it memorized, and send it along to at least 5 of your friends before the next full moon or you will surely be constipated for the next three months and all of your hair will fall out.