I am a big, warm, kind but ferocious Bear (not a teddy bear). An equalist. Danish, well spoken, loyal, caring, history buff, spiritual, ACDF, socially anxious, musical, artistic, dog owner, married, and Jewish.
What am I about?
My life is dedicated to Tikkun Olam - Mending The World - if need be one being at a time. I don't have time for stupidity, I have no patience with arrogance, false humility, hypocrisy or intellectual dishonesty. If I think you are either of the above, I will call you on it. I will say that the Emperor is naked, even if the whole world says he is dressed and even if it hurts the Emperor's feelings.
I am very passionate about Human Rights, Children's Rights and Equal Rights, and chances are that if you are not, I am going to be up your rear with a chainsaw.
I believe that G-d, the Creator of all there is, meant us to be His hands, eyes and voice to each other in Life. That is the task we have been charged with, and that is what we are here to do. It doesn't matter to me what path you choose to do this on, as long as that is what you are doing.
In addition to being a Bear, I am also an Ogre - like Shrek - and like all Ogres I am bound to respond forcefully to kicks in the groin, burnings of my house, beating of my kids and friends. I am also VERY grumpy in the morning. I am true to myself, not to you or to social conventions. I have been through and seen so much bull crap and horse manure in my life, that I'll bet my last dime that I recognize both when they come across my path. If you poop on my floor, I will ask you to scoop it up and put it in the trash. If you do, that's the last you will hear about it, if you don't, if you don't, I'll come after to you till you do or one of us die, which ever comes first.
Here are all the blogs that I am allowed to link to on Care2:
One in seven Senior High School girls have had sexual intercourse against their will. Among boys of the same age it's one in seventeen.
The very first comment was: "BOYS! NO MEANS NO!!!" - no shadow shall fall on the woman who said it, she later came in and apologized and said that she should have included the girls too, and not singled out the boys - so don't think badly of her.
The point I am using her comment to make is that it is all too common that people have knee-jerk reactions to news stories about unwanted sex.
People simply assume that if we are talking about unwanted sex, we are talking about girls not wanting sex, and boys forcing them to have sex.
Sexism - pure and simple sexism.
Not that most people will admit to being sexist, so they very often try and "save themselves" by referring to a statistical body which will confirm the idea that more girls than boys are being sexually abused and that the abusers are either men or boys.
The fact is that the statistics is skewed. The statistics has an agenda.
The fact is that the male gender-role doesn't allow for victimization and the female gender role encourages victimization.
The fact is that we really don't know exactly how many girls or boys are being sexually abused, either by their peers or by an adult they trust.
What we know is that more females report being subjected to unwanted sexual attention than males - but we have no way of knowing if this is a true indicator of an imbalance in the victimization, or if what we can glean from the statistics are the "white numbers" and that there are "black numbers" we are unaware of.
Even an anonymous survey of 4000 Swedish Senior High School Student is a blunt and inaccurate instrument.
The young people being surveyed may very well be lying, consciously or subconsciously remembering incidents where the gray zone between wanted and unwanted is closer to the truth than they are willing to admit even to themselves.
The adult who wrote the survey may consciously or subconsciously have written the questions in a manner that will skew the statistics in the end.
Why am I saying this?
Because we are all victims of the ideas of what is proper or expected of our respective gender-role.
Boys will more often that not write off unwanted sexual attention as not really being unwanted, because boys are (still) taught to take their self-realization as males from the sexual attention they get from girls (or women).
Girls will more often than not write off wanted sexual attention as not really wanted, because girls are still taught to take their self-realization as females from the idea that they are not really sexual beings.
So they will lie.
A boy will lie about not wanting the sexual attention from a teacher because he experienced an erection when she (or he) fondled him.
A girl will lie about wanting the sexual attention from a teacher because she has a crush on him (or her).
Both genders will lie about what actually happened (positive or negative) out of fear of what parents, peers and the school might say if they knew.
So, in the end we cannot really trust any statistics - it was not for nothing that Samuel Clemens said: There three types of lies: Lies, damned lies and statistics.
The best we can do is to make an effort to not apply those horrid gender-roles to our views when we hear about sexual abuse or sexual activity, and try to remember to assume that what is true for one gender is true also for the other.
Unless we do we will never experience true Gender Equality.