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Feb 9, 2007

Love and life are funny things that often bewilder us, creating feelings within our body that are not really caused by any physical injury. Take heartbreak for example. Heartbreak is not a pain caused by a physical injury to the heart. The pain we feel is an emotionally generated pain, triggered in part by our mind based upon an experience. And what about that chemistry that jazzed the both of you when you met? Then wonder, “what more?”

Just as suddenly as the juices got jazzed you find yourself running, laughing, playing, and enjoying a budding relationship. You can’t believe you could be so lucky! You think about this miracle that came into your life throughout each day. You feel the energy in your body inspiring your life. You feel so alive! You know all of this though and realize you have to get through each day, keeping balance and perspective so you don’t neglect other areas of your life. Too bad about that really, it would be great to just walk off into the sunset and not have to worry about the realities of life for awhile. “Give us some time” I’d say, knowing that in time we’ll both come back to the planet looking to explore other avenues of our lives. Let’s get back to reality though.

Now, I can only speak for myself and others like me. I don’t fall in love to just walk away. Yet, too often, that is what we are required to do. As compatible as a relationship might feel or seem, timing could be everything. Someone’s distortion could have their values out of whack. Knowing the inner-qualities of each other, you could have even been certain that you’d never be dropped for material reasons. This love, this woman, or this man, is deeper than that. It’s there, in all the journals, in every conversation, in the eyes, and the vision for the future. Then life shows up and serves some humble pie.

Bad things happen to good people all the time. Someone is struck ill with a serious illness and before long the retirement savings are gone. The recovery can take months or even years, if at all – for some. The physical toll can be too great for some people to handle. The emotional stamina required to endure the trials may be to costly to another. The financial strain may threaten a required sense of security for others. For the person it is all happening to, it can have profound and life-changing impact.

Deep loss is experienced as an old identity passes away and a new identity comes into being. Death and birth, experiences equally bound in both pleasure and pain. Not just a physical death, a psychological death. Not just a physical birth, a metaphysical birth. Some people end up lost in the bottom of a bottle while others stab out the misery with a needle; both scenarios leading to more misery and death. These are just examples, the scenarios are limitless. Some recover, some don’t. Death isn’t the only thing that can kill you.

In spite of what we see on the streets and played out in the drama of each others’ lives, miracles still happen all the time. These miracles happen even through the loss and in spite of loss. Someone may truly be gone forever and yet, someone else is saved as a result. An illness could miraculously disappear, leaving no trace of ever having been there. Financial ruin could bring two closer together, empowering and strengthening beyond what each could do individually. Important changes in society could come about as lives are radically changed through tribulation.

Too often judgment is heard spilling from lips of those who don’t know or are arrogant. If you’ve ever fallen, why would you laugh at another who has fallen? You remember what it was like. You understand the pain and even the embarrassment you felt. You remember the judgment others threw in your face. Everybody hurts, sometimes. Judgment, ridicule, laughter, and self-righteousness are uncomfortable disguises of your own frailty. Bad things happen to good people all the time. It could happen to you. This is uncomfortable to admit. It recognizes your powerlessness to control every aspect of living your physical life on earth. You only control your response, reaction, your attitude.

As for the hurt that comes with the human experience, the shift in perspective can view the emotional pain as a good thing. The ache in the heart chakra is a blessing of your aliveness. It affirms your divine capacity to love another being. The ache that comes with the turmoil of disappointments affirms your love of self. The ache that comes with betrayal in society affirms your connection and love to your fellow beings. You are a divine creature living in a physical world. Lifting the veil, seeing your own inner-spirit, you will experience and observe and learn to be with the aching emotions. Make that your challenge – to ‘be with’ the pain and witness it as a good experience. Shift your perspective to see that your spiritual being is embracing each experience and will rise above each experience.

This brings me full-circle, right back to heartbreak. Don’t run away from love. Don’t run away from loving another. Run away from fear. Run away from doubt. There is power in love and it is the only thing that you have in life that cannot be taken away. Health: Who knows when, if, what, or why, but you could be hit. Money: That balance sheet is all over the place and depends a lot on other circumstances that may be beyond your control. And what will you give up for that? Too many look for the bling without really seeing the stars. If you’re wondering where to look, try deep into the eyes of the other.

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Posted: Feb 9, 2007 6:17pm
Feb 3, 2007

Weary to the bones, feeling the heaviness and despair, the fatigue demands you to sit and breathe awhile. As you sit and withdraw within the burdened mind and heart, you pant for breath, for life to return. A gust of wind stirs and refreshes you momentarily, clearing away the dark thoughts of the day, the months, and the years, and you raise your head and eyes to observe.

"How did I not notice this?" you ask. Two paths open before you. One appears to lead down the same path life has been handing you the past 10 years. It doesn't feel right, it feels like a lie, like all smoke and mirrors. The other road is shrouded in mist, within a dark forest. Even so, off in the distance you see a speck of light, like a promise, of something that appeals to a deeper part of yourself.

You look again, at the foreboding dark forest, the mist, and wonder what lurks in the dark. Its’ eeriness sends shivers and goose bumps crawling across your skin and through your bones. What surprises you is that the bones know, they know that this is your road, and one that you've passed many times before.

Finally, tired of the same repetitious path of life, the path that has lulled you into a slumber of pity, self-loathing, even longing, you find a spark within the heart that ignites a tiny spark in the belly, and then the head, and you know the adventure begins: The life you were born to live. All that needs to happen now is to turn towards the ominous and hopeful path of rightness, not familiarity, and to strike out on foot with courage.

For many, the piercing arrow of fear strikes to heart with its' ghost-like quality. The transparent, smoky, frail, and temporal arrow of fear relies on illusion to fool them and their ever-so intelligent mind that can never be wrong. As they turn away from the path of rightness, of their true life that they were born to live, fear returns to the dark woods as a whispery haunting laugh follows the blind back to the illusion of familiarity and security.

You remember this, how many times you glanced and walked on; how many times you stopped and longed; and you even have a vague recollection of having passed it without even noticing. No, the time has come, the pain of familiarity has made you too numb, and you long for life to seize your heart and start beating again with the joy of promise given to you as a child in the arms of the Supreme.

Checking in one more time, you feel the excitement build in the bones as the pilot lights sparked earlier fuel the passion to be alive and ride life. With nary a look back your heel strikes out and into the gloom of the dark forest, and the promise of that light off in the distant future. Inside the forest, you find the familiar surround you again, as the denseness of this familiar place brings memories, mistakes, missed opportunities, and the healing to let go.

This dark forest is love and loves you. The embrace is firm, cold, and yet bold. Welcoming each error of past misjudgment transforms you, empowers you, fuels you, heals you, and the forest urges you on as each barb yields to the beautiful rose. And one day, in the unknown distance of time, you step out fully into the brilliance of your authentic life upon the meadow of gaiety.

Dancing, singing, rejoicing you spin and turn and tumble with joy. After moments or hours, as time is no longer the prison it once was, you stand, exhausted with joy and delight and turn slowly absorbing the beauty that surrounds you. Gazing back along the road less traveled you see the path from the forest to discover the beauty in the tragedies and pain, as majestic Oaks, Maples, Firs, and so many more, tower to the sky with a firm strength that stands the test of time.

Bending to knee, falling forward, embracing the earth, and all your self-worth, you give thanks with tears and sobbing that releases the fullest joy imaginable. And the quiet voice of Love speaks into your heart, clearing your mind once again, and says, "Sweet child. I honor you. It was you who seized upon Courage and found Strength where I reside. It was you, My Delight, and you bring great Joy to My Heart, knowing that you have claimed this Gift of Life fully."

The bones speak again as the flesh is crawled with goose bumps and the rightness of the words sink into the flesh. Rolling over and sitting up, you lean back on your hands for a moment to gaze up into the blue wonder to ponder thanks. "My dear God," you say, "I have fought you, misunderstood you, and even abused you, yet you call me your delight. Thank-you for acknowledging that which is in me as you, and never, ever, giving up on me."

Regaining your feet, you feel the ground firmly beneath you like you've never felt it before. You feel the blood course through your veins with a fury of life that will never lay down again. You feel the gratitude and love of a heart that has swollen in proportion to ALL. And you forge on with a zest and appeal for experiencing joy that leaves your mouth watering, knowing that the path of rightness is your own and that goodness will always reign.

A ghost appears, ever so slightly, to pierce the truth with a nightmare of fear. And just as quickly, you turn one last time and remember what that forest has taught you. For all the mistakes, wrong turns, hurts of life, and damage caused to others, forgiveness and love have never left you, let you down, abandoned you, or held any grudges. It was you, it was fear, it can and has been let go, and firmly planted in the roots of majesty. You will prevail.

This, I just wrote, from heart and creative spirit.



© 2007 Lee Down, all rights reserved

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Posted: Feb 3, 2007 6:53pm
Oct 2, 2006
On another blog, I received a response to my entry about the wounded warrior that didn't sit very well with me. Here is my wounded warrior entry:


The wounded warrior doesn't lose his edge, he gains another. The new edge is the edge of reconciliation, of empathy, of understanding, and of valuing life. Do not let anyone minimalize the wounds you have earned, that you have gained understanding from, and from which you have grown to love more humankind. Neither let yourself suffer from arrogance, or any form of grandiose thinking of any kind; remain the humble servant who understands more than they let on.


The response caused a moment of pause as I reflected yet again upon the judgment they placed with their opinion. Through such a comment and how it may or may not apply; our broad brush-strokes are so quick to color every encounter, every person, and every lesson to be the same. What was said is not far different from what many people believe. What was said also can be completely true for many people. However, it is not applicable to all who suffer. Here is the commonly held belief posted in their response:


Ideally, those are the lessons one would learn. But everyone has their own journey and some make it harder than it should be. They must learn their lessons the hard way and it takes much longer. It depends on what level of understanding one has reached.


Everyone does have their own journey and some individuals do make it harder than it has to be. Some wish to make it easier and do not seem able to lessen the severity. Some people are fast learners, others are slow learners. Some learn best by reading, others learn best by doing, and yet more need to hear the words that will help them learn. The poor individual who is going through hell and back who would read that they're a complete loser for "not getting it" sooner. And yet, my immediate heartfelt thoughts upon reading the reply highlights an even more profound statement for the wounded warrior. What about the greats in our history who have suffered greatly?


My first hero, Gandhi, was the first to come to mind when I read that some make it harder, and that a lesson must be learned. I've had a similar discussion around the homeless issues as well. All things serve a greater purpose and it is so easy for us to judge from the perspective that others "just aren't getting it" and we can wash our hands of all responsibility to see change occur in our society. Gandhi put himself into harms way repeatedly. Gandhi, through all the situations that deepened his wounds saw his heart for God, his heart for his people, and his heart for the world grow. Gandhi did not shrink from the cup chosen for him, neither did many other great leaders no longer with us today. You know who some of them are. So who needs to learn the lesson?


A wounded warrior did not come to fight with violence, fists, and bloodshed - unless it is his own and even then it is not a prefered avenue. The wounded warrior values life and typically in higher regard than the common everyday man. Gandhi, my friend, my example: What lesson did you make harder to learn? To walk away from conflict? To walk away from injustice? That one man cannot change the world? No, no, I didn't think so. I see it myself and it is what I want all to see.


If I choose to make my life harder, if I choose to be the change I want to see, if drastic action is called for to have society witness its' failings, then so be it. How can I possibly communicate clearly to others that which I cannot understand? I have understood much about the human condition, society, our frailties, hopes, fears, and dreams; our relationship to each other, how it has shifted over time and continues to shift; how the media clouds our vision, politicians and religious leaders influence our beliefs, interpreting the signs of the times and literally telling us the cause and effect relationship that requires change. We've become such amazingly obedient sheep for our shepherds.


We follow along, we point fingers, we lay blame, we act the victim, and almost literally only take care of our own personal agenda and insular sphere of influence. The rest of the world, the rest of the country, the rest of the government, the rest of the community, the rest of the street... and so on... can go to hell, I've got enough to deal with on my own! Sound familiar? I've heard these standard statements often throughout my life. Even so, the influences that sing in my heart are laid by the examples of such as Jesus, Gandhi, JFK, Martin Luther King, just to name a small few. Check carefully before concluding that someone isn't learning a lesson. Maybe they're trying to show the rest of the world something that society has created, or that people are ignoring, etc.


This brings me back to one of my favorite issues related to society washing their hands - the homeless. I have even heard it said by spiritual and/or religious people that the homeless chose their lot, made their bed, and therefore must suffer the consequences. In the same way, some would say they're on the street learning a lesson. What I know is that there are many on the street who have chosen to leave the monstrosity of the rat-race - that truth and love is virtually non-existent in the corporate setting, or the business machinations of what is our society today. I know that some of these people are there, and the problem is growing, because the rest of society has failed to act! The issue isn't about providing shelters, food, and treatment programs. The issue is about a systemic problem with the way we get along, the way we work together, the way we compete, and the way we judge, hate, segregate, and so on. It's strictly about the heart.


Yesterday, a very new and dear friend of mine got on his own high horse ranting about the problem with the street people in a very bad area of our city. "Give them what they want and what they need," he lamented! Very curious I continued to press him for more explanation. I don't remember all that he said but let me sum it up as best I can.


Giving these people a city-block facility with housing, treatment, counselling, injection sites, dispensed substances, etc., would free up a great deal of resources chasing them all over town trying to police, intervene, and treat the problem. You give them a place to go, provide them with clean and safe substances and the opportunity to make a different choice. Those that make the different choice have access to treatment, counselling, and shelter. If they fall, they fall, and they're given the opportunity to try again. At least then there is a chance, there is no judgment, and we would no longer be de-humanizing ourselves in the process!


That is not a perspective I could have vocalized in such a powerful way before. I concur completely with our responsibility and failings as a society to resolve what seem to be such fundamentally simple issues - at the heart level. Why so many walk past the problems and are so completely unaffected has bothered and puzzled me for years. Until he finished his statement recognizing the de-humanization of the general public, any reasoning I heard or tried left a sour taste. Of course! We have systematically seen the dehumanization of our culture consistently through news, media, television, movies, video games, and our own streets. Is it all bad? Likely not, it is a contributor though, along with our ability to make a judgment that places full responsibility somewhere else.


With so much said I'll wrap it up with a few statements of encouragement. Accept the journey others are on, be curious, ask questions, and park your judgment. As Martin Luther said, I have a dream. As JFK said, ask what you can do for your country. As Gandhi said, be the change you want to be. As Jesus said, love covers a multitude of sins. Be love, love is. If this was the guiding principle behind government, business, and our community, how many different outcomes would have seen a world shaping into something far more beautiful than we thought possible?

Sep 27, 2006
An Artist has a gift for seeing the common everyday normal events, places, and people as something far more revealing in its' complexity and simple beauty. For some it is in the drawing and painting, for others it is in the molding and shaping, and so on. The landscape that fascinates me and comes to life on a page is the human experience, society, and our behaviors. What I see never ceases to amaze me.


While there are a good many stories that inspire us about the human spirit, I am also morbidly fascinated with the tragic beauty of our shortcomings and human frailties. At times, this very human experience has been a burden in my own life that I would not wish to bear. Who is to say whether my life would have been better had things turned out differently? Who is to say if I would be a better or worse person?


Instead, here I am having survived each ordeal that has been thrown at me. I feel the places of hurt almost as though the wounds were still there. The oddest problem with all of this is that in a perfect world we would cause no emotional harm towards one another. Many of life's hurts are because of behavior patterns unconsciously and consciously adopted throughout the experience of life and the games people play; in families, in schoolyards, in classrooms, in government, and even in business.


Instead, we guard our hearts, censor the truth, and project our insecurities. Is it any wonder mental illness has risen so dramatically these past number of years? With all the hurt in a person's past, it takes tremendous trust and courage to step boldly out of the safety of a comfort zone. With so many people craving intimacy and a sense of community, it is apparent that our behaviors can close us off from one another. Our love can be courageous and can bring us closer together. We can build stronger communities. We can solve more problems, find more solutions, and make the world a better place.


Rather than write further, here are some questions for reflection:

  • If every conversation were a safe place, how much more truth could you share?
  • How does the word vulnerable make you feel when you consider the implications?
  • If fear was no longer a reality, what more would you risk?
  • How much does your everyday -- news, co-workers, media, etc. -- influence what you believe to be true?
  • Do you believe in love?
  • What is love?
  • Can you be love?
  • Life is always going to hand us hard stuff to deal with; do we have to make it harder on each other?
  • What will you do to be supportive with others?
Be Love. Love is.

Jul 14, 2006
On the battlefield a fallen soldier will often lay there near death, expecting death, when a comrade will stop and offer comfort and aid. Encouraging and strengthening his fallen comrade simply through comfort, the yell will follow, "Medic! Medic!" as help is sought that will bring the wounded soldier the medical attention that is needed. There are times when death will come too quickly or help will come too late. When the help comes in the right time, the medical attention will quite often save the life of the fallen comrade and life goes on.

As observance is given to happenings in society today, I am left with the sense that too often we pass by the wounded soldiers lying on the battlefield of life. Life can be a struggle for many people for a variety of reasons. It's easy to wipe our hands of responsibility, laying blame through our judgment, thinking 'you made your bed, now lie in it!' This scapegoat thinking dismisses the fact that people make the best choices possible with the information that is available to them. It dismisses the fact that not everyone has had the best opportunities available to them or the fullest access to their own personal power in making choices.

A young man, wet behind the ears, full of vim and vigor, races into the world to discover, to live, and to enjoy. The taste of freedom is here to read about.
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Posted: Jul 14, 2006 9:36am
Apr 15, 2006
What you are about to read may resonate with you or it might not. If not, it may be that your experience and understanding to-date is contrary. I warmly invite you to open your mind to possibilities and to explore the concepts I am introducing. One important distinction is that in spirituality, there is freedom.

In the research I have undertaken over the years, the most fascinating and helpful in satisfying my intellectual understanding of world-religion and other spiritual teachings has been found in the field of quantum physics. We live in a universe that has 11 spacetime dimensions - so the math goes so far - and it is entirely possible we exist on multiple dimensions as well.

In truth, you are spirit already. The spirit is that aspect of ourselves that quite simply inspires us. In it's purest origin, spirit is completely connected to the source of the universe, which is why in its' purity of force and energy is such an inspiring force / entity. Many people have lost touch with this entity and are left uninspired by the lives they lead.

Our soul is not the spirit, it is another dimension that embodies the "feelings" of our memories. These memories reside in the body, the mind, and the emotions. You can understand how the integration of the experiences between these three human facets are required to capture the fullest expression of a memory. You may also recognize how a memory in your own life can completely overwhelm the body's feelings, your emotional response, and your thinking.

A Conceptual Breakdown:


During a meditation a few years ago, a visualization exercise was being conducted as a group. The discussion about the human experience, the mind, the emotions, the soul, etc. were at the foundation although not the focus of the discussion. Entering into the meditation, extraordinary activity began communicating thought messages that provided the following framework to help segment and understand more about the human experience. It's important to note that while these messages prove useful and valid, it is also wise to stay open to further expansion of thought, understanding, and most importantly experience.

The Body


The body is the feeling machine and action machine. Emotions are felt and expressed through the body. Emotions are a force of energy that speak to us, although often-times we're not always aware of what we need to know about the emotion. This forceful energy is experienced physically in the body and also affects thought in the mind. Our body, the physical cells and chemical construct also retains the memory of emotion. The more emotion built up and stored, the more toxicity retained by the body. Your body can function in cooperation with the power of the mind or the spirit - whichever we give more control. Also, remember that all matter is energy. This means the physical body is energy and thereby has the ability to act as a radar dish, picking up on the energy of others around us, also affecting our moods and emotions.

The Mind


The mind has been referred to as a computer, a biological computer. I would say that is a fairly workable assessment, although its complexity is much greater. Nonetheless, it is a tool by which we learn, interpret, analyze, and retain data. This data can be in the form of book knowledge but it certainly doesn't stop there. It also retains memories (data) from our human experience and life experience. This is quite an encompassing repository of data as we take all facets of life, living, relationship, feeling, thinking, exploring, and so on, and so on.

However, the mind also connects us to spirit as we exercise that muscle. This means taking the time to nurture the relationship with spirit and being available for whatever messages and inspiration it has to share with us. Most often, it is likely that we suppress and deny spiritual promptings within ourselves due to a lot of social and educational conditioning received throughout life. Not honoring and nurturing this communication wtih spirit, our mind utilizes more of the soul memory - combining the mind's memories and the body's memories (emotions) - and allowing that to dictate life experience. This is where we see many cynics, for example, that always see the truth they choose. Our experience dictates life because that is where our focus remains imprisoned. Breaking free is the challenge that comes with embracing a spiritual journey.

The Soul

Soul and spirit have often been thought of as synonymous, the same thing. During my studies over the years however, I often found distinctions that contradicted this thinking. But who really knows the answer to these questions? Scientists have tried to find these mysterious entities inside the human mind for ages and haven't been able to spot anything that they can clearly put their finger on. Nonetheless, it is widely agreed that there is more to the human-being than just the physical body. This is substantiated even further as quantum physics dug deeper into the realms of the invisible and came up with M-Theory, previously known as String Theory. I suggest two excellent videos that educate and challenge simultaneously:
What the Bleep Do We Know? and The Elegant Universe.

The Elegant Universe brings the quantum studies into the layman's world and a couple of very relevant and interesting facts present themselves that support the concept of soul, spirit, the body, the mind, and so on. I won't go too deep just yet and will only stick with the soul and spirit distinction. First, all matter is derived from energy, little bands of energy or strings; where the name string-theory originated. Later named M-theory, it also discovered that there are 11 spacetime dimensions. This validated earlier teachings about the energetic body that resides on a separate dimension than the physical body. Now this energetic body could also symbolize the existence of soul on another dimension as well. This validated the impressions of thought I received during the group meditation. It clearly distinguished the various entities of the human experience and described them much as I've done here.

What the soul does is combines the experienced memories of the mind, the body, and the emotions. As I like to say, it retains the melancholy of life and other physical world memories. Its function and purpose is the storage of information that the spirit world, or universal consciousness if you prefer, can access after we leave the physical world.

T
he Spirit

My favorite, the spirit, is the universal part of ourselves that comes from and is connected to the source. The source of what? The source of all that exists, the source of all creation, quite possibly the creator, and if not, the consciousness of the creator. Remember, the best we can do from this place on earth is to enter into the dance with the mystery and reach our own conclusions with the best information available. This is what I'm bringing to you and inviting you to explore on your own as well.

Spirit, so closely connected with source, which by the way, is the energy that makes up the 11 spacetime dimensions as well, can be thought of as the energy of pure love. I will get into this more elsewhere. This spirit is loving, encouraging, inspiring, forgiving, and all else that is good. It manifested itself here in your physical body to experience and to create. Now the question is, to create what? What did your spiritual self come here to accomplish in this physical world. For more insight into the Source, it's energy, intent, and power, I recommend
The Power of Intention book or viewable frequently on PBS in North America.

With the social, cultural, politcal, educational and familial pressures, teaching, violence, and more, we have been conditioned and most people have lost the connection with their spirit and spiritual purpose. Programmed throughout life by the systems of this world we are challenged to break out of the molds put around us to fully explore who we are spiritually. Case in point: An abused child takes much time, patience, love, and gentleness in order to see the defense mechanisms dropped and trust confidence, and openness to grow.

I have studied myself and others for a long time around this subject and another deciding force is the fact that so many people are suffering depression, anxiety, etc. Many people are stressed beyond belief trying to live lives that are not their own. They need to access those Spirit values that are unique to them and to live them out fully in order to be optimally healthy: emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually.

When you're so far out of tune with your spiritual self, you're out of integrity. When you're out of integrity and none of your spiritual values are being honored, discomfort sets in. This discomfort, this dis-ease grows over time and the less able you are to turn it around, the higher the likelihood that you become ill, physically ill. I've seen it with a number of people who have suffered enormously as a result of trauma and abuse that has robbed them of their courage and strength.

Inside there is an unchanging force calling for attention. This power of spirit is a tangible part of our everyday whether we participate or not. Now are you curious and courageous enough to look at how you can integrate your spiritual perceptions, beliefs, and experiences into the reality of day-to-day living. Whether you are looking for a single conversation or month-to-month support, you will find it here.

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Lee Down
male, age 45, single
Vancouver, BC, Canada
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I found this at another network and thought it worthwhile to share here also.I have only skimmed through the pdf file and not yet listened to the mp3.....but must say I am fascinated with what I have quickly read.....EnjoyLove Elizabethx___________...
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