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Is the path to Truth full of joy and light?
Feb 20, 2007

Here's the thing that is happening for me.

God, a divine and intelligent being, of a nature and sort that defies my own comprehension, has been calling upon me to seek the truth for a very long time. My first recollection of consciously questioning was in Grade 3 and I even ventured to church on my own with a school chum. Throughout the years, dealing with the baggage that has amassed in all spiritual and religious corners of society from a child's perspective, I avoided religious people and religion like the plague, as well as other pseudo-spiritual new age movements. For some, the reasons may be obvious, for others, they may wonder why. This isn't what matters.

What does matter is that in spite of all the amassed negativity I experienced, the prodding, poking, and tugging continued until one day I did finally become a Christian and committed myself wholly to the process and discovery for 4 straight years. This occurred at a cross-roads that entailed a near-death illness that prompted me to choose a religion. Was it right? Was it wrong? Religion isn't the point either though, or so I've since learned. Religion is full of holes and my experience of it affirms this fact. This does not mean to say it has no value, as religion is chock full of values! So what then is the point?

After leaving religion, deciding I didn't want anything to do with spirituality, I was now mid-30's and yet again, that tugging, prodding, and poking showed up. From where? Why does it bother me so? Why me? I've answered some of these questions, and feel these answers may still yet be incomplete. It is the force of God acting upon my life, as He has done since I was at least 8 years old. It bothers me simply due to the nature of man as a spiritual being, and the simple fact that I'm sensitive enough to pick up on this trigger, even though there has been no family influence to support or encourage it in my early life. The reason why me is simple too. This tug is there in everyone as a natural part of our design. So what now and why is there still so much conflict appearing here on my blog?

There are a couple of reasons that come to mind. First and foremost is my own personal journey of discovery. Seeking out answers in today's world leads down many false paths, or maybe it is just a path that a doesn't work for me personally. I'm always amazed at how many different Truths are claimed and how much contradiction exists. Choose, find freedom, come this way, let go here, grab on there, and anyone in their right mind looking at all of these different things who absolutely knows that Yes, there is a god, is going to go off the deep end trying to choose the correct path. Damned if you do, and damned if you don't, is the experience of anyone not certain of what Truth to believe; I know I certainly struggled with making the right choice when I was at that crossroad. Who do we believe? The religion? The people? This obviously leads to the second reason my blog is as it is, in all of its ups and downs.

Life is full of ups and downs and I've come to recognize this as sure as the one day is sunny and another day is rainy. Conflict in life is what polishes the soul, hones the man, sharpens the mind, and teaches us consequence -- just to name a few!! Beliefs I've come to adopt surreptitiously are challenged, examined, and able to be let go, modified, or enlarged. Traps I've fallen into are explored, as I also explore my own self -- my mind, my emotions, and the elusive spirit. People might say spirit is not so elusive, and yes, that may be so. However, my experience with it is that grasping the truth of spirit is elusive with the influence of ego another reality worth challenging ourselves over. Were I so quick to accept what pops up, it may just be my own hedonistic ego subversively keeping me from the fullest possible truth!! Wouldn't you be willing to examine this possibility further, particularly if the best experience of life and relationship with God were at stake?

So again, more perceived negativity, more questioning, more exploring, more sitting in the funk, more climbing out of the hole, and so on. Why I share all of this is simple really. First, the writing allows me a vehicle and medium with which I can explore ideas, topics, the subconscious, and quite probably spirit, and the conflict of ego. I know that sharing this can also challenge others; I see this as a good thing. Sometimes it may make them uncomfortable, sometimes I am challenged, sometimes I'm criticized, and often times I'm encouraged.

Truly, I wonder, is the path to enlightenment, freedom, and truth really so easy?

Listening to some of the replies and admonitions of others, I'd suspect that the easy road may be another trap. Yes, I could be wrong, and yet, I could also be right. The main reason for this doubt I have is that the judgment I hear in their replies is about making me wrong in my current experience, who I am, and how I am engaged in my process. Since when has an experience ever been for wrong? Any experience, given any moment in our lives is full of the greatest potential of rightness through the simple and common, unequivocal reality of a force called cause and effect. What is this opportunity here to teach me? Is not the divine intelligence able to utilize any situation to bring people closer in relationship to the Holy? Is not the Holy responsible for the force of cause and effect? Has not the Holy designed creation to function in multitudes of complex fashions that defy our mere reasoning abilities?

Here is why I'm confident that the truth is still yet to be fully known: God is real, and we are not God. We may become like god, or be like gods, as Jesus himself also said, except the simple fact is that I am here, in this physical body, and no matter how much meditating I do, no matter how much I embrace my own godliness, no matter how much I embrace abundance, manifesting, and so on, there is still, and yet, another Force acting upon my life for a purpose that is designed to bring me closer to the potential of being fully in relationship with God.

Half-truths, partial-truths, little snippets here and there are great and helpful, and yet, like appetizers they do not sate my appetite for the whole truth.
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Posted: Feb 20, 2007 3:12pm
Spirit and Love Call Anger
Feb 8, 2007
A recent exchange spoke to the challenge of accepting the hurts that are thrown at us. I've long been an admirer of Gandhi, Martin Luther Kind Jr., Jesus, Einstein, Mother Theresa and many other magnificent men and women. Didn't they ever get angry? Sure they did, and they used it powerfully in positive ways that rose to the defense of Spiritual Principles, the Spirit of Self, the Spirit of Unity - so let's just say God and what God has given. In fact, let's recognize that anger is a natural part of the human range of emotions, therefore it has a purpose. Maybe we just haven't been recognizing this or accessing it correctly. So here is the result of the email exchange from my end in response to the emotional trauma and the experience of being bullied.

Bullying! I'm very familiar with that. I learned a great deal about it as a child, and only once as the 'disher' in grade3. The rest of the time I was the 'dishee', right on through to high school graduation. The most humiliating was when the girls did it.

Part of the reason I accepted such behavior from others is having been raised by a bully, too, who was more concerned with his image than his kids well-being. He punched me in the jaw at 10 years old and threatened me with more violence if I continued that kind of behavior at school. This was the day I defended myself and won. I hate fighting and would much prefer friendship. Thankfully, the kid that instigated the fight became fast friends.

I'm more than happy to discuss some of these delicate life issues and relationship issues. One thing I can say right now; "there is a place for anger." You consider you, your being, your values, the principles you stand for; when someone violates you in any way, anger rises up within. Too often, wanting to be spiritual, peaceful, loving, or higher minded, we quell that anger and that anger is speaking so strongly - to you! What's it saying?

"Speak up! Stand up! Set a boundary! Ask for what you want! Don't settle!" These are just a few examples that I've come to experience. Naturally, being a peaceful and loving human being, this may feel conflicted with how we want to experience the world and relationships around us. Even so, isn't it interesting that the kid who picked on me became my friend after the fight? Isn't it interesting that another bully respected me after I put flies in the sandwich he took from me. Always he came, always he took, always he ate, and when I got tired of it I acted. He ate that sandwich before learning about the flies, and when he did find out, he didn't beat me - Go figure! In fact, he admired me and smiled.

I share this message this week because anger is a theme that showed up for me, the peaceful warrior, who had to learn not to be so passive, maybe even passive-aggressive. It harms our own spirit, and it harms Spirit. You know the axiom, "Do no harm." It's already been done when the bully, or values, or principles, or whatever, have experienced the violation within you.

Love is Anger, and the expression of anger when you are violated is a clear demonstration of that Love for Self - the gift of Spirit. Does Spirit demand anything less but the best?

Spirit could be responding to many issues in this context.
  • You: It is responding with strength to our own defense, boundaries, and peaceful existence.
  • We: It is responding with admonition for the behavior that fails to recognize One, that we're the same.
  • Truth: It is responding to principles and values inherent in all of humanity, in all of existence, and waits upon us to respond accordingly.
I'm often amazed at how often I have ignored that quiet voice inside, always thinking that the peace is the loving response. This is the illusion.

Yes, the expression of anger does not require further trespasses to principles of Spirit.

Expressing anger is to give voice with passion, with integrity, with strength, and certainty - and I'm certain more adjectives of appropriate nature can be added - for justice, for peace, for love, and Spirit.

It requires trust in Spirit, trust in Self, and trust in Love. It also requires courage, from you and from me, as we face the admonishment from Spirit and must learn from the opportunity about whatever needs to be different. Assuming I've wronged you: What do I need to about you, your values, and how I trespassed? Understanding each other, in any relationship, is hard work sometimes for our frail emotional egos. Spirit is stronger! Trust, faith, courage, hope, and love. Add more!

It requires the setting aside of a vindictive and malicious ego, to be replaced with the voice of passionate love and beautiful reason. It requires faith in your own humanity and the ability to forgive. This is our societal challenge today. We all make mistakes. Speak and be heard! Listen and learn! Feel the passion and love! Build the bridge to understanding. Forgive and heal with love!

I forgot something: Be Willing To Be Wrong!

Have a blessed day!

Lee

Addendum: I was surprised on another blog where I posted this to hear someone defend violence. Please do not misunderstand, this is not what this topic is about. It is about standing your ground and working through the tough stuff. The child fought, the adult does not, and won't, and would go to prison for such actions.
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Posted: Feb 8, 2007 11:13am
Haven't You Learned Anything!?
Oct 2, 2006
On another blog, I received a response to my entry about the wounded warrior that didn't sit very well with me. Here is my wounded warrior entry:


The wounded warrior doesn't lose his edge, he gains another. The new edge is the edge of reconciliation, of empathy, of understanding, and of valuing life. Do not let anyone minimalize the wounds you have earned, that you have gained understanding from, and from which you have grown to love more humankind. Neither let yourself suffer from arrogance, or any form of grandiose thinking of any kind; remain the humble servant who understands more than they let on.


The response caused a moment of pause as I reflected yet again upon the judgment they placed with their opinion. Through such a comment and how it may or may not apply; our broad brush-strokes are so quick to color every encounter, every person, and every lesson to be the same. What was said is not far different from what many people believe. What was said also can be completely true for many people. However, it is not applicable to all who suffer. Here is the commonly held belief posted in their response:


Ideally, those are the lessons one would learn. But everyone has their own journey and some make it harder than it should be. They must learn their lessons the hard way and it takes much longer. It depends on what level of understanding one has reached.


Everyone does have their own journey and some individuals do make it harder than it has to be. Some wish to make it easier and do not seem able to lessen the severity. Some people are fast learners, others are slow learners. Some learn best by reading, others learn best by doing, and yet more need to hear the words that will help them learn. The poor individual who is going through hell and back who would read that they're a complete loser for "not getting it" sooner. And yet, my immediate heartfelt thoughts upon reading the reply highlights an even more profound statement for the wounded warrior. What about the greats in our history who have suffered greatly?


My first hero, Gandhi, was the first to come to mind when I read that some make it harder, and that a lesson must be learned. I've had a similar discussion around the homeless issues as well. All things serve a greater purpose and it is so easy for us to judge from the perspective that others "just aren't getting it" and we can wash our hands of all responsibility to see change occur in our society. Gandhi put himself into harms way repeatedly. Gandhi, through all the situations that deepened his wounds saw his heart for God, his heart for his people, and his heart for the world grow. Gandhi did not shrink from the cup chosen for him, neither did many other great leaders no longer with us today. You know who some of them are. So who needs to learn the lesson?


A wounded warrior did not come to fight with violence, fists, and bloodshed - unless it is his own and even then it is not a prefered avenue. The wounded warrior values life and typically in higher regard than the common everyday man. Gandhi, my friend, my example: What lesson did you make harder to learn? To walk away from conflict? To walk away from injustice? That one man cannot change the world? No, no, I didn't think so. I see it myself and it is what I want all to see.


If I choose to make my life harder, if I choose to be the change I want to see, if drastic action is called for to have society witness its' failings, then so be it. How can I possibly communicate clearly to others that which I cannot understand? I have understood much about the human condition, society, our frailties, hopes, fears, and dreams; our relationship to each other, how it has shifted over time and continues to shift; how the media clouds our vision, politicians and religious leaders influence our beliefs, interpreting the signs of the times and literally telling us the cause and effect relationship that requires change. We've become such amazingly obedient sheep for our shepherds.


We follow along, we point fingers, we lay blame, we act the victim, and almost literally only take care of our own personal agenda and insular sphere of influence. The rest of the world, the rest of the country, the rest of the government, the rest of the community, the rest of the street... and so on... can go to hell, I've got enough to deal with on my own! Sound familiar? I've heard these standard statements often throughout my life. Even so, the influences that sing in my heart are laid by the examples of such as Jesus, Gandhi, JFK, Martin Luther King, just to name a small few. Check carefully before concluding that someone isn't learning a lesson. Maybe they're trying to show the rest of the world something that society has created, or that people are ignoring, etc.


This brings me back to one of my favorite issues related to society washing their hands - the homeless. I have even heard it said by spiritual and/or religious people that the homeless chose their lot, made their bed, and therefore must suffer the consequences. In the same way, some would say they're on the street learning a lesson. What I know is that there are many on the street who have chosen to leave the monstrosity of the rat-race - that truth and love is virtually non-existent in the corporate setting, or the business machinations of what is our society today. I know that some of these people are there, and the problem is growing, because the rest of society has failed to act! The issue isn't about providing shelters, food, and treatment programs. The issue is about a systemic problem with the way we get along, the way we work together, the way we compete, and the way we judge, hate, segregate, and so on. It's strictly about the heart.


Yesterday, a very new and dear friend of mine got on his own high horse ranting about the problem with the street people in a very bad area of our city. "Give them what they want and what they need," he lamented! Very curious I continued to press him for more explanation. I don't remember all that he said but let me sum it up as best I can.


Giving these people a city-block facility with housing, treatment, counselling, injection sites, dispensed substances, etc., would free up a great deal of resources chasing them all over town trying to police, intervene, and treat the problem. You give them a place to go, provide them with clean and safe substances and the opportunity to make a different choice. Those that make the different choice have access to treatment, counselling, and shelter. If they fall, they fall, and they're given the opportunity to try again. At least then there is a chance, there is no judgment, and we would no longer be de-humanizing ourselves in the process!


That is not a perspective I could have vocalized in such a powerful way before. I concur completely with our responsibility and failings as a society to resolve what seem to be such fundamentally simple issues - at the heart level. Why so many walk past the problems and are so completely unaffected has bothered and puzzled me for years. Until he finished his statement recognizing the de-humanization of the general public, any reasoning I heard or tried left a sour taste. Of course! We have systematically seen the dehumanization of our culture consistently through news, media, television, movies, video games, and our own streets. Is it all bad? Likely not, it is a contributor though, along with our ability to make a judgment that places full responsibility somewhere else.


With so much said I'll wrap it up with a few statements of encouragement. Accept the journey others are on, be curious, ask questions, and park your judgment. As Martin Luther said, I have a dream. As JFK said, ask what you can do for your country. As Gandhi said, be the change you want to be. As Jesus said, love covers a multitude of sins. Be love, love is. If this was the guiding principle behind government, business, and our community, how many different outcomes would have seen a world shaping into something far more beautiful than we thought possible?

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Posted: Oct 2, 2006 2:28pm
A Spiritual Guide
Apr 15, 2006
What you are about to read may resonate with you or it might not. If not, it may be that your experience and understanding to-date is contrary. I warmly invite you to open your mind to possibilities and to explore the concepts I am introducing. One important distinction is that in spirituality, there is freedom.

In the research I have undertaken over the years, the most fascinating and helpful in satisfying my intellectual understanding of world-religion and other spiritual teachings has been found in the field of quantum physics. We live in a universe that has 11 spacetime dimensions - so the math goes so far - and it is entirely possible we exist on multiple dimensions as well.

In truth, you are spirit already. The spirit is that aspect of ourselves that quite simply inspires us. In it's purest origin, spirit is completely connected to the source of the universe, which is why in its' purity of force and energy is such an inspiring force / entity. Many people have lost touch with this entity and are left uninspired by the lives they lead.

Our soul is not the spirit, it is another dimension that embodies the "feelings" of our memories. These memories reside in the body, the mind, and the emotions. You can understand how the integration of the experiences between these three human facets are required to capture the fullest expression of a memory. You may also recognize how a memory in your own life can completely overwhelm the body's feelings, your emotional response, and your thinking.

A Conceptual Breakdown:

During a meditation a few years ago, a visualization exercise was being conducted as a group. The discussion about the human experience, the mind, the emotions, the soul, etc. were at the foundation although not the focus of the discussion. Entering into the meditation, extraordinary activity began communicating thought messages that provided the following framework to help segment and understand more about the human experience. It's important to note that while these messages prove useful and valid, it is also wise to stay open to further expansion of thought, understanding, and most importantly experience.

The Body

The body is the feeling machine and action machine. Emotions are felt and expressed through the body. Emotions are a force of energy that speak to us, although often-times we're not always aware of what we need to know about the emotion. This forceful energy is experienced physically in the body and also affects thought in the mind. Our body, the physical cells and chemical construct also retains the memory of emotion. The more emotion built up and stored, the more toxicity retained by the body. Your body can function in cooperation with the power of the mind or the spirit - whichever we give more control. Also, remember that all matter is energy. This means the physical body is energy and thereby has the ability to act as a radar dish, picking up on the energy of others around us, also affecting our moods and emotions.

The Mind

The mind has been referred to as a computer, a biological computer. I would say that is a fairly workable assessment, although its complexity is much greater. Nonetheless, it is a tool by which we learn, interpret, analyze, and retain data. This data can be in the form of book knowledge but it certainly doesn't stop there. It also retains memories (data) from our human experience and life experience. This is quite an encompassing repository of data as we take all facets of life, living, relationship, feeling, thinking, exploring, and so on, and so on.

However, the mind also connects us to spirit as we exercise that muscle. This means taking the time to nurture the relationship with spirit and being available for whatever messages and inspiration it has to share with us. Most often, it is likely that we suppress and deny spiritual promptings within ourselves due to a lot of social and educational conditioning received throughout life. Not honoring and nurturing this communication wtih spirit, our mind utilizes more of the soul memory - combining the mind's memories and the body's memories (emotions) - and allowing that to dictate life experience. This is where we see many cynics, for example, that always see the truth they choose. Our experience dictates life because that is where our focus remains imprisoned. Breaking free is the challenge that comes with embracing a spiritual journey.

The Soul

Soul and spirit have often been thought of as synonymous, the same thing. During my studies over the years however, I often found distinctions that contradicted this thinking. But who really knows the answer to these questions? Scientists have tried to find these mysterious entities inside the human mind for ages and haven't been able to spot anything that they can clearly put their finger on. Nonetheless, it is widely agreed that there is more to the human-being than just the physical body. This is substantiated even further as quantum physics dug deeper into the realms of the invisible and came up with M-Theory, previously known as String Theory. I suggest two excellent videos that educate and challenge simultaneously: What the Bleep Do We Know? and The Elegant Universe.

The Elegant Universe brings the quantum studies into the layman's world and a couple of very relevant and interesting facts present themselves that support the concept of soul, spirit, the body, the mind, and so on. I won't go too deep just yet and will only stick with the soul and spirit distinction. First, all matter is derived from energy, little bands of energy or strings; where the name string-theory originated. Later named M-theory, it also discovered that there are 11 spacetime dimensions. This validated earlier teachings about the energetic body that resides on a separate dimension than the physical body. Now this energetic body could also symbolize the existence of soul on another dimension as well. This validated the impressions of thought I received during the group meditation. It clearly distinguished the various entities of the human experience and described them much as I've done here.

What the soul does is combines the experienced memories of the mind, the body, and the emotions. As I like to say, it retains the melancholy of life and other physical world memories. Its function and purpose is the storage of information that the spirit world, or universal consciousness if you prefer, can access after we leave the physical world.

The Spirit

My favorite, the spirit, is the universal part of ourselves that comes from and is connected to the source. The source of what? The source of all that exists, the source of all creation, quite possibly the creator, and if not, the consciousness of the creator. Remember, the best we can do from this place on earth is to enter into the dance with the mystery and reach our own conclusions with the best information available. This is what I'm bringing to you and inviting you to explore on your own as well.

Spirit, so closely connected with source, which by the way, is the energy that makes up the 11 spacetime dimensions as well, can be thought of as the energy of pure love. I will get into this more elsewhere. This spirit is loving, encouraging, inspiring, forgiving, and all else that is good. It manifested itself here in your physical body to experience and to create. Now the question is, to create what? What did your spiritual self come here to accomplish in this physical world. For more insight into the Source, it's energy, intent, and power, I recommend The Power of Intention book or viewable frequently on PBS in North America.

With the social, cultural, politcal, educational and familial pressures, teaching, violence, and more, we have been conditioned and most people have lost the connection with their spirit and spiritual purpose. Programmed throughout life by the systems of this world we are challenged to break out of the molds put around us to fully explore who we are spiritually. Case in point: An abused child takes much time, patience, love, and gentleness in order to see the defense mechanisms dropped and trust confidence, and openness to grow.

I have studied myself and others for a long time around this subject and another deciding force is the fact that so many people are suffering depression, anxiety, etc. Many people are stressed beyond belief trying to live lives that are not their own. They need to access those Spirit values that are unique to them and to live them out fully in order to be optimally healthy: emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually.

When you're so far out of tune with your spiritual self, you're out of integrity. When you're out of integrity and none of your spiritual values are being honored, discomfort sets in. This discomfort, this dis-ease grows over time and the less able you are to turn it around, the higher the likelihood that you become ill, physically ill. I've seen it with a number of people who have suffered enormously as a result of trauma and abuse that has robbed them of their courage and strength.

Inside there is an unchanging force calling for attention. This power of spirit is a tangible part of our everyday whether we participate or not. Now are you curious and courageous enough to look at how you can integrate your spiritual perceptions, beliefs, and experiences into the reality of day-to-day living. Whether you are looking for a single conversation or month-to-month support, you will find it here.

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Posted: Apr 15, 2006 11:39am

 
 
 
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Lee Down
male, age 45, single
Vancouver, BC, Canada
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