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Spirit and Love Call Anger
Feb 8, 2007
A recent exchange spoke to the challenge of accepting the hurts that are thrown at us. I've long been an admirer of Gandhi, Martin Luther Kind Jr., Jesus, Einstein, Mother Theresa and many other magnificent men and women. Didn't they ever get angry? Sure they did, and they used it powerfully in positive ways that rose to the defense of Spiritual Principles, the Spirit of Self, the Spirit of Unity - so let's just say God and what God has given. In fact, let's recognize that anger is a natural part of the human range of emotions, therefore it has a purpose. Maybe we just haven't been recognizing this or accessing it correctly. So here is the result of the email exchange from my end in response to the emotional trauma and the experience of being bullied.

Bullying! I'm very familiar with that. I learned a great deal about it as a child, and only once as the 'disher' in grade3. The rest of the time I was the 'dishee', right on through to high school graduation. The most humiliating was when the girls did it.

Part of the reason I accepted such behavior from others is having been raised by a bully, too, who was more concerned with his image than his kids well-being. He punched me in the jaw at 10 years old and threatened me with more violence if I continued that kind of behavior at school. This was the day I defended myself and won. I hate fighting and would much prefer friendship. Thankfully, the kid that instigated the fight became fast friends.

I'm more than happy to discuss some of these delicate life issues and relationship issues. One thing I can say right now; "there is a place for anger." You consider you, your being, your values, the principles you stand for; when someone violates you in any way, anger rises up within. Too often, wanting to be spiritual, peaceful, loving, or higher minded, we quell that anger and that anger is speaking so strongly - to you! What's it saying?

"Speak up! Stand up! Set a boundary! Ask for what you want! Don't settle!" These are just a few examples that I've come to experience. Naturally, being a peaceful and loving human being, this may feel conflicted with how we want to experience the world and relationships around us. Even so, isn't it interesting that the kid who picked on me became my friend after the fight? Isn't it interesting that another bully respected me after I put flies in the sandwich he took from me. Always he came, always he took, always he ate, and when I got tired of it I acted. He ate that sandwich before learning about the flies, and when he did find out, he didn't beat me - Go figure! In fact, he admired me and smiled.

I share this message this week because anger is a theme that showed up for me, the peaceful warrior, who had to learn not to be so passive, maybe even passive-aggressive. It harms our own spirit, and it harms Spirit. You know the axiom, "Do no harm." It's already been done when the bully, or values, or principles, or whatever, have experienced the violation within you.

Love is Anger, and the expression of anger when you are violated is a clear demonstration of that Love for Self - the gift of Spirit. Does Spirit demand anything less but the best?

Spirit could be responding to many issues in this context.
  • You: It is responding with strength to our own defense, boundaries, and peaceful existence.
  • We: It is responding with admonition for the behavior that fails to recognize One, that we're the same.
  • Truth: It is responding to principles and values inherent in all of humanity, in all of existence, and waits upon us to respond accordingly.
I'm often amazed at how often I have ignored that quiet voice inside, always thinking that the peace is the loving response. This is the illusion.

Yes, the expression of anger does not require further trespasses to principles of Spirit.

Expressing anger is to give voice with passion, with integrity, with strength, and certainty - and I'm certain more adjectives of appropriate nature can be added - for justice, for peace, for love, and Spirit.

It requires trust in Spirit, trust in Self, and trust in Love. It also requires courage, from you and from me, as we face the admonishment from Spirit and must learn from the opportunity about whatever needs to be different. Assuming I've wronged you: What do I need to about you, your values, and how I trespassed? Understanding each other, in any relationship, is hard work sometimes for our frail emotional egos. Spirit is stronger! Trust, faith, courage, hope, and love. Add more!

It requires the setting aside of a vindictive and malicious ego, to be replaced with the voice of passionate love and beautiful reason. It requires faith in your own humanity and the ability to forgive. This is our societal challenge today. We all make mistakes. Speak and be heard! Listen and learn! Feel the passion and love! Build the bridge to understanding. Forgive and heal with love!

I forgot something: Be Willing To Be Wrong!

Have a blessed day!

Lee

Addendum: I was surprised on another blog where I posted this to hear someone defend violence. Please do not misunderstand, this is not what this topic is about. It is about standing your ground and working through the tough stuff. The child fought, the adult does not, and won't, and would go to prison for such actions.
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Posted: Feb 8, 2007 11:13am
Haven't You Learned Anything!?
Oct 2, 2006
On another blog, I received a response to my entry about the wounded warrior that didn't sit very well with me. Here is my wounded warrior entry:


The wounded warrior doesn't lose his edge, he gains another. The new edge is the edge of reconciliation, of empathy, of understanding, and of valuing life. Do not let anyone minimalize the wounds you have earned, that you have gained understanding from, and from which you have grown to love more humankind. Neither let yourself suffer from arrogance, or any form of grandiose thinking of any kind; remain the humble servant who understands more than they let on.


The response caused a moment of pause as I reflected yet again upon the judgment they placed with their opinion. Through such a comment and how it may or may not apply; our broad brush-strokes are so quick to color every encounter, every person, and every lesson to be the same. What was said is not far different from what many people believe. What was said also can be completely true for many people. However, it is not applicable to all who suffer. Here is the commonly held belief posted in their response:


Ideally, those are the lessons one would learn. But everyone has their own journey and some make it harder than it should be. They must learn their lessons the hard way and it takes much longer. It depends on what level of understanding one has reached.


Everyone does have their own journey and some individuals do make it harder than it has to be. Some wish to make it easier and do not seem able to lessen the severity. Some people are fast learners, others are slow learners. Some learn best by reading, others learn best by doing, and yet more need to hear the words that will help them learn. The poor individual who is going through hell and back who would read that they're a complete loser for "not getting it" sooner. And yet, my immediate heartfelt thoughts upon reading the reply highlights an even more profound statement for the wounded warrior. What about the greats in our history who have suffered greatly?


My first hero, Gandhi, was the first to come to mind when I read that some make it harder, and that a lesson must be learned. I've had a similar discussion around the homeless issues as well. All things serve a greater purpose and it is so easy for us to judge from the perspective that others "just aren't getting it" and we can wash our hands of all responsibility to see change occur in our society. Gandhi put himself into harms way repeatedly. Gandhi, through all the situations that deepened his wounds saw his heart for God, his heart for his people, and his heart for the world grow. Gandhi did not shrink from the cup chosen for him, neither did many other great leaders no longer with us today. You know who some of them are. So who needs to learn the lesson?


A wounded warrior did not come to fight with violence, fists, and bloodshed - unless it is his own and even then it is not a prefered avenue. The wounded warrior values life and typically in higher regard than the common everyday man. Gandhi, my friend, my example: What lesson did you make harder to learn? To walk away from conflict? To walk away from injustice? That one man cannot change the world? No, no, I didn't think so. I see it myself and it is what I want all to see.


If I choose to make my life harder, if I choose to be the change I want to see, if drastic action is called for to have society witness its' failings, then so be it. How can I possibly communicate clearly to others that which I cannot understand? I have understood much about the human condition, society, our frailties, hopes, fears, and dreams; our relationship to each other, how it has shifted over time and continues to shift; how the media clouds our vision, politicians and religious leaders influence our beliefs, interpreting the signs of the times and literally telling us the cause and effect relationship that requires change. We've become such amazingly obedient sheep for our shepherds.


We follow along, we point fingers, we lay blame, we act the victim, and almost literally only take care of our own personal agenda and insular sphere of influence. The rest of the world, the rest of the country, the rest of the government, the rest of the community, the rest of the street... and so on... can go to hell, I've got enough to deal with on my own! Sound familiar? I've heard these standard statements often throughout my life. Even so, the influences that sing in my heart are laid by the examples of such as Jesus, Gandhi, JFK, Martin Luther King, just to name a small few. Check carefully before concluding that someone isn't learning a lesson. Maybe they're trying to show the rest of the world something that society has created, or that people are ignoring, etc.


This brings me back to one of my favorite issues related to society washing their hands - the homeless. I have even heard it said by spiritual and/or religious people that the homeless chose their lot, made their bed, and therefore must suffer the consequences. In the same way, some would say they're on the street learning a lesson. What I know is that there are many on the street who have chosen to leave the monstrosity of the rat-race - that truth and love is virtually non-existent in the corporate setting, or the business machinations of what is our society today. I know that some of these people are there, and the problem is growing, because the rest of society has failed to act! The issue isn't about providing shelters, food, and treatment programs. The issue is about a systemic problem with the way we get along, the way we work together, the way we compete, and the way we judge, hate, segregate, and so on. It's strictly about the heart.


Yesterday, a very new and dear friend of mine got on his own high horse ranting about the problem with the street people in a very bad area of our city. "Give them what they want and what they need," he lamented! Very curious I continued to press him for more explanation. I don't remember all that he said but let me sum it up as best I can.


Giving these people a city-block facility with housing, treatment, counselling, injection sites, dispensed substances, etc., would free up a great deal of resources chasing them all over town trying to police, intervene, and treat the problem. You give them a place to go, provide them with clean and safe substances and the opportunity to make a different choice. Those that make the different choice have access to treatment, counselling, and shelter. If they fall, they fall, and they're given the opportunity to try again. At least then there is a chance, there is no judgment, and we would no longer be de-humanizing ourselves in the process!


That is not a perspective I could have vocalized in such a powerful way before. I concur completely with our responsibility and failings as a society to resolve what seem to be such fundamentally simple issues - at the heart level. Why so many walk past the problems and are so completely unaffected has bothered and puzzled me for years. Until he finished his statement recognizing the de-humanization of the general public, any reasoning I heard or tried left a sour taste. Of course! We have systematically seen the dehumanization of our culture consistently through news, media, television, movies, video games, and our own streets. Is it all bad? Likely not, it is a contributor though, along with our ability to make a judgment that places full responsibility somewhere else.


With so much said I'll wrap it up with a few statements of encouragement. Accept the journey others are on, be curious, ask questions, and park your judgment. As Martin Luther said, I have a dream. As JFK said, ask what you can do for your country. As Gandhi said, be the change you want to be. As Jesus said, love covers a multitude of sins. Be love, love is. If this was the guiding principle behind government, business, and our community, how many different outcomes would have seen a world shaping into something far more beautiful than we thought possible?

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Posted: Oct 2, 2006 2:28pm

 
 
 
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Lee Down
male, age 45, single
Vancouver, BC, Canada
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