I've been disabled since 1992, and am in a group of people that the government apparently didn't think to think about. Of course, when does the government really think about the people?
At any rate, I was a single mom when I became disabled. My daughter is now 19, and off to college on grants, scholarships, and other financial assistance, including loans. Two and a half years ago I became a mom for the second time. Another daughter.
I broke down in tears at my new doctor's office, because I remember when my oldest was little how she would cry for me to play with her or chase her, but I couldn't. My second daughter was approaching the age of "chase me," and it ripped my heart out to think that again I wouldn't be able to play with my child. At the time all I could do was sit in a chair and wish for pain relief. My doctor took sympathy and prescribed a very small amount of a medium-strength pain medication to offer some relief. That was almost 2 years ago.
As the time has progressed, my daughter has been at the "chase me" stage for some time, and now is taking a gymnastics class that I cannot attend with her because of the pain I am in. One of her grandmothers graciously paid for the classes, and attends them with her. But now my daughter is saying, "Mama, come watch me!" And I can't.
The pain has progressed and encompasses most of my back, and has developed a "pinched nerve" sensation that runs from one of my hips, down into my leg. It is worse. And it has been nearly 2 years since they did an x-ray of my back to check on my spine. I think it is time for another.
Again, even with the pain medications, I am only able to sit in a chair and watch her. It is painful - emotionally - to know that I cannot play with her.
I am grateful, though, for what my doctor has done for me so far. I'm on Medicaid, and most of the time - at least here - the medical attention you get is not the best quality. Most of the doctors I've seen in the past automatically act like I am a drug addict when I say that I hurt and need help to relieve the pain. It has literally been like a commercial I saw for a medication for an arthritis medication: This is the life you lead, and this is the life you want to lead.
I'm frustrated because I can't get help for my condition due to no one wanting to accept Medicaid. My doctor said it would be an ordeal to even get me in to see a GYN for regular check-ups. I admire my current doctor for his true desire to help people, and for his honesty, but I am still in pain.
Cancer comes in many forms. For some, there is treatment. For others, there is treatment that only prolongs the inevitable.
I lost my grandmother to cancer in the early 2000's, and shortly afterward I met someone who became a very dear friend who was celebrating 5 years of Leukemia remission.
I was on Facebook when my friend who has survived Leukemia posted that status message that you see at least once per month that says to change your status message for one hour. I was over come with an urge to DO something, because changing my status message was NOT going to help in finding a cure.
I searched for a cancer research fund, and found Cancer Research Foundation. While on their site I created a fundraiser of sorts in my grandmother's name. It will run for 24 months, and, after that, any funds accrued go to the above foundation.
I post the link here for anyone who happens upon it. Please click. Please - if you can - donate to help fund finding a cure for cancer.
Donate to Cancer Research Foundation by clicking here. The link will open in a new window.
My adopted step-sister attends a church preschool. She will be 5 in December, and is attending not only this year, but she also attended last year as well. A few weeks ago one of the preschool teachers and one of the parents ended up in a confrontation in the gym. The confrontation started as "a few words" and ended up with the parent becoming increasingly belligerent. The crux of the incident took place when said parent spat in the teacher's face, and the teacher snapped and her fist connected with the unruly parent's face.
My "step-mother" volunteered to stand in for the teacher as she turned in her resignation immediately following the confrontation. The minister was very pleased with my step-mother's willingness to stand in, and he was even more impressed with her ability to work with the kids. He had her placed on substitute pay, placed "on call" for any emergencies, and offered her the opportunity to take the position full time. She politely declined the invitation to take the position full time for the duration of this school year, but said that she would consider it for the subsequent year. The minister said that he would bring it up to the church committee, and let her know as soon as possible.
Now, my step-mother and my father are not married. They have cohabitated for around six years, and in this state all one needs to do is to cohabitate for six months before you are considered "common law married" under the state law. My step-sister is not my step-mother's child, nor is she my father's child. The truth of the matter is that she belongs to my step-mother's brother and his wife. When she was a few months old, she was taken in the ER by the state where she and her natural parents resided, and my step-mother ran to answer the call for someone to care for the child. She had been "knocked off of the sofa by the dog" and suffered several compound fractures to her legs, ribs, and even to her skull. At seven months this child was in a full body cast. The state awarded custody of my step-sister to my step-mother, and she's been part of the family ever since.
The church committee had a meeting to go over what to do about the parent-teacher incident, and who to get to replace the teacher. The minister brought up my step-mother and how well she was doing with the children, but the committee voted against her saying that she was an unwed mother who was living with a man, and that they didn't want that image portrayed as acceptable by their church.
The pastor was infuriated, and he remained upset when he explained to my step-mother the reason for not getting the offer for a full time position with the preschool. My step-mother became infuriated and told the minister that no one knew whether or not she and my father were married, that they had just assumed, and then she told the story of my step-sister.
The minister was even more upset after finding out the truth about my step-sister, and her rescue from abusive parents by my step-mother and father. He stated that he was ashamed of his congregation for judging, and that they - meaning those who voted against her for their assumed reasons - would be judged twice as harsh by God since she (my step-mother) was, in fact, doing the work of God.
Now, I am not an overly religious person. I am not Christian, but I do not criticize Christian beliefs and standards. What I do criticize, however, is the hypocrisy that has been demonstrated to me time and again by "followers" of the Christian faiths. The bible states to "judge not, lest ye be judged yourself," yet so often the Christian church, or followers, preach this, but judge others and push out those who do not fit the mold.
My step-mother told the minister that the reasoning was why she quit attending church in the first place, and I said the same to her when she was explaining to me what had happened. The funny thing, though, is that the minister was so infuriated by how the congregation reacted and the judgment passed on my step-mother that he threatened to leave the church.
At any rate, I just found the entire thing interesting. A church's preschool teacher punches a parent after the parent becomes belligerent and spits in her face, my step-mother is allowed to replace said teacher for the week, but she is not allowed to be a full time teacher because she is an unwed mother who is "living in sin."
It happened on March 14, 2006. A wonderful and loving man sat with his wife, son, and mother-in-law as his father-in-law breathed his last breath. The coroner arrived and offered condolences to the family, and Michael left on the motorcycle he had purchased for his son. Speeding down the road in an attempt to out run the pain of losing a man he respected not only as his father-in-law, but a man who was like a father to him after his own father had passed away, his motorcycle met with a large tree. His body was flung into the trunk of the tree, shattering most of his bones and causing severe internal bleeding. His helmet - he was a fast driver, but not usually reckless - was found on a lawn three houses down in the semi-rural naighborhood.
The time was early, and a single driver stopped to assist him. The accident happened within the sight of a local school bus, and the single driver was the daughter of another school bus driver. She sat with him, talked to him, left him for a brief moment in order to call 911 before she quickly retuerned to his side. She alone - a stranger - comforted our beloved "Angel."
Within a matter of minutes, though, he passed away. The coroner - who was still with the family - recieved a call to a motorcycle accident right up the street. He was quoted by the local paper saying that he knew the instant he heard the call that it was my uncle who had left only a few moments before, and he hoped that he was wrong, but it was indeed Michael.
This man was an angel to our family. Though he was controversial, and had a tendency to butt heads with his siblings at times, he was still the "baby boy." And to me, he was more than an uncle. He was only about 14 years older than me, and I grew up with him being ever-present in my life. Only when my grandmother - his mother - passed away did the family's relationship with each other become strained. I simply stepped back and let them bicker amongst themselves.
Losing my uncle still is difficult. Here it is October and suddenly it hit me - again - that he is gone forever. I forget that he isn't here anymore, and then the reality comes crashing in on me. And that reality is so surreal to me, almost like standing inside of a Salvador Dali painting for a split second.
My uncle was a good man. Sure, he did his wrongs, just like everyone else in the world, but in his heart he was always good. He is greatly missed by all of his brothers and sisters, and especially by me - his niece who looked upon him as if he were really an angel, and as if he were her very own older brother. I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that his wife and son miss him dearly, and I only hope that the son and daughter he was never able to really know have learned somehow who he was and what has become of him.
His memory will forever reside within my heart and be cherished for the rest of my life, and shared with anyone who cares to listen to a tale of childhood memories of my "coolest uncle ever."
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I am just fed up totally
. This world is ran so
crooked it is sickening .
People say they dont want
the goverment . But then
they do . It is either
yes or no . Do ou want
them in your life .
Telling you how to raise
your children . Telling