Rather than changing the world, change yourself...
First of all, attend to your 'inner' life. You need to understand your own values, then live and work by them.
Second: when unsure of yourself, look to someone whose thoughts and speech and actions you admire very much. Then emulate them... 'fake it 'til you make it', as the saying goes. Imagine what they would do or say in a similar situation.
Thirdly, listen more than you talk... that's why we have only one mouth but 2 ears.
Fourth: pay attention to what is happening- around you, and around the world.
Fifth: don't give in. If you fall down 6 times, stand up 7 times.
Sixth: believe that you are 'enough'. If you believe you ought to be able to save the whole world you'll soon feel disappointed, perhaps even a failure. Remind yourself that 'interdependence' is far, far better than being dependent or independent when something big needs to be achieved. A fine thread isn't very useful on its own, but when working with many others in a combined effort/strategy/pattern, the thread becomes a rope that can stop an elephant. Such is combined effort, team strategy, pattern, planning and management...a well oiled machine.
Seventh... give other people plenty of space and opportunity to learn and grow. Even if they make mistakes. If you find this hard, you may be a 'controlling' personality. If this behaviour isn't corrected, the controlling can destroy your life and the lives of those around you...
Lastly: balance all areas of your life... personal, family, health, career, and spiritual. Regularly set achievable goals to keep yourself on track. Too much activity in one area may end up in grief- e.g. breakdown of your personal or work relationships; bankruptcy; loss of 'purpose'; physical and mental breakdown...
Today I was asked how I made difficult decisions. Did I listen to my heart or my head? Answering became a therapeutic exercise.
This is how I answered...
I suppose I listen to BOTH my heart and my brain to help me get a balance. It's important to know HOW I feel about the choice, and equally important to know WHY I feel that way. Do I have an agenda that I'm hiding from myself? e.g. do I stay in a toxic relationship because I feel I need to give my partner another chance, or because I'm too afraid to leave and be on my own? or am I reluctant to leave because of what others think?
I often make a 'for' and 'against' list to help me decide if the solution is not apparent straight away.
My heart's prompting is very strong, but it does appreciate knowing all of the facts involved, and considering the potential consequences of various actions. Like a 'win/win' process. I'm old enough to have made many mistakes and have been fortunate to learn from them.
Acting from my heart alone has left me with years of regret.
An example of a hard choice I had to make was during my divorce 20 yrs ago. Everyone was giving me advice on my rights, the 'correct course of action', and solicitors I needed to see. I started down this track, feeling bad about it the whole time, and berating myself from not being 'tougher'. I do understand how necessary the legal system is to protect people and to help families work things out together. However I finally listened to my heart, and it said this doesn't match who I am...my solicitors acted like I needed to chase him for everything he had... not my style at all!
Very often the friends who were so keen for me to do what they had done wore their anger and bitterness proudly as badges.
So I dropped that course of action and my husband and I sat down together and talked.
He is now my ex, and over the years he has been very fair to me and my children. I'm grateful every day that I didn't try to 'destroy' him, as so many others have done to each other in marriage and both sides ending up with nothing except lingering bitterness, and worst of all, the children suffering all the while and learning negative lessons about relationships.
Tucson's 32nd Annual
Peace Fair and Music
Climate JusticeThis FREE
event is Arizona's
largest gathering of
Peace, Justice, and
with Live Music, Tables,
Hello my C2 Family,
First let me say Thank
You to those of you who
have so sweetly fwd my
posts. You are SO
AWESOME!! I will never
forget your help. Anytime
I can repay the favour,
please tell me. Second,
my Submit button has
disappeared leaving ...