22,614,829 members doing good!
share your passions, stories, inspirations, and more
Nov 23, 2009
Signs of Caring Too Much
(posted by Mel selected from Caring.com)
.
Compassion fatigue –aka caregiver burnout–is what happens when a well-intentioned caregiver crosses a hard-to-see line from One-Who-Helps to One-Who-Needs-Help. And it can happen to anyone. It happens precisely because you care so much. Are you at risk of caring “too much”? Here are ten warning signs:

1. You use words like “always” and “never” with regard to caregiving. These are 'absolutes', e.g.
I promised Mom we’d never put her in a nursing home; or
I’m sorry I can’t go to lunch because I always feed Sam by myself.
Being overly rigid can put you at risk for burnout.

2. Your friends seem to have stopped calling.
You may be feeling isolated or annoyed that your old circle no longer seems to check up on you and how you’re faring. But is it possible that you’ve turned them down so often because of your caregiving duties, or that caregiving concerns so dominate your life and conversation, that they got the message you’re just not interested in them? A social life is a two-way street.

3. The last time you felt happy was “uh…um…let’s see…”
Nobody ever said looking after a sick or aging loved one was a romp in a field of wildflowers. But if your everyday life has lost even its grace notes, so that you find no pleasure in it, you’re at risk. Every day needs at least one happy petal or two.

4. Everyone assumes you’ll step forward; nobody asks.
Have you become the default go-to girl (or guy) in your family?
When the sick person is your spouse, this is logical. (Even then, you need a support system to pitch in.) But it’s a different matter when the family member being cared for is a parent, grandparent, or other relative — and the entire burden of responsibility seems to have settled on your shoulders whether you’ve volunteered or not.

5. You’re overweight or out of shape.
True, it may not be your caregiving that’s to blame for poor health.It could be a long list from pollution to allergies to unfortunate genes. But the fact remains that poor self-care is a big red flag for caregiver burnout. Being selflessly focused on others by definition means you’re not focused on yourself. And yet you need to be the #1 person you look after, in order to be shipshape (or at least functional!) to look after others... give yourself permission to be selfish..

6. You can’t remember the last time you took a vacation...
Vacations are really hard when you have a disabled or impaired person to consider...not being able to even remember the last break you had is a sure sign you’re due for one. It doesn’t have to be three weeks in France. Start small if you must: a simple overnight at a friend’s house or a local B & B. To stop caregiving stress, stop caregiving sometimes...

7. All conversations turn to caregiving...
Maybe you remember when your kids were babies and you’d hire a babysitter–and proceed to talk about the kids all evening? Not a great idea. Or worse, you call home to check up! If every conversation with your partner or other family members concerns one subject, it’s a warning sign that topic is monopolizing your life. Diversify!..

8. You have no hobbies...
You say you have no time for hobbies? Your hobby doesn’t have to be a conventional one like stamp-collecting or bird-watching. It just needs to be an outlet away from caregiving. Reading trashy novels uninterrupted, taking up knitting, joining a book club, taking adult ed courses, being a matinee-movie addict, or enjoying your children and grandchildren all count, too–anything that takes you away from caregiving for bursts of time. Bonus points if it takes you out of the house, too...

9. You can’t sleep through the night...
Two common causes: You’re up tending to a sick person (or Alzheimer’s wanderer, or someone else who gets by on just a few hours of sleep a night) or you’re sick with stress or a physical problem yourself. A sleepless night or two go with the territory of caregiving–but if it’s become your lifestyle, it’s a problem you need to correct. Sleep isn’t optional!..

10. You dread waking up in the morning...
We all have this experience, usually when we’re in the midst of a health crisis that seems like a bad dream (but isn’t). Health nightmares can go on for years, unfortunately. But when the crisis has passed and you’ve sunk into a new routine–and you still feel heavy-hearted and hopeless, your body is crying out for you to enlist some support.

Nobody–not even the most well-intentioned, big-hearted, and selfless among us–is meant to endure a tough situation all alone, day after day, year after year...
............................................................................................................
Caring.com was created to help you care for your aging parents, grandparents, and other loved ones. As the leading destination for eldercare resources on the Internet, our mission is to give you the information and services you need to make better decisions, save time, and feel more supported. Caring.com provides the practical information, personal support, expert advice, and easy-to-use tools you need during this challenging time.
http://www.care2.com/greenliving/10-signs-of-caring-too-much.html  
Visibility: Everyone
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted: Nov 23, 2009 3:46pm
Nov 18, 2009

Fixes for 6 Common Skin Problems
Fixes for 6 Common Skin Problems
posted in Care2 by Mel, selected from Natural Solutions magazine Nov 16, 2009 (Rona Berg)
-------------------------------------------------
Because the skin connects to every system in the body, when something gets out of whack inside, it shows up on your face. How to improve your skin's tone, texture, health?
   - Reduce Stress
   - Take Omega-3
   - Sleep at least 7 hours nightly 
   - Eat a healthy diet rich in Antioxidants
 
(Stephanie Tourles, Organic Body Care Recipes).

Six common problems & effective ways to look your best.
---------------------------------
PUFFINESS, DARK CIRCLES
These two conditions “go hand in hand... Both stem from a lack of circulation. Puffiness is caused by fluid that collects and doesn’t move with the lymphatic flow, and dark circles indicate a need to stimulate your blood circulation.
Contributing factors:
  - genetic inheritance
  - too many late nights spent staring at the computer
  - alcohol
  - salty foods
  - allergies
  - stress
  - poor diet
  - inflammation in the nasal area
(can weaken the blood vessels, which may leak and cause what appear to be bruises under the eyes).
Solution: you need to get your blood circulating and your lymph fluid flowing... a gentle under-eye massage each night. Apply eye gel instead of cream if you have pouchy eyes–and be sure to chill it in the fridge beforehand.
Good ingredients to look for...

- green tea or vitamin K, which strengthen the blood vessels;
- calendula or chamomile to reduce swelling; 
- gotu kola to stimulate circulation.
Apply gel with your ring finger (it exerts the least pressure), and gently massage in clockwise, circular motions from the edges of the “bruise” toward the eye.
Do-It-Yourself: Steep two cups of green tea for five minutes, and then remove the tea bags and chill them briefly in the freezer. Pour the tea itself into an ice cube tray and freeze. Squeeze the excess water out of the chilled tea bags, lie down, and place them on the under-eye area for 10 minutes. And the tea ice cubes? When you wake up puffy-eyed but in a hurry, pop out a cube and run it over the area before you dash out the door.
--------------------------------------
BLACKHEADS and Chin Breakouts
The nose, chin, and forehead (aka the “T-zone&rdquo have more oil glands than anywhere else on your body. So if you have oily skin, the T-zone will be your problem area–especially when you have your period. And because the pores on your nose can be large relative to those on the rest of your face, they’re prone to blackheads when oil, dead skin cells, and bacteria become trapped in them.
Hormones trigger most chin breakouts–especially during pregnancy, an irregular menstrual cycle, or perimenopause, or when taking birth-control pills. 
Solution: To banish blackheads, exfoliate regularly, using a natural abrasive scrub two to three times a week. But handle with care...scrubs can sometimes tear at the edges of your pores, and end up spreading the bacteria around. Wet your face and gently press–don’t rub!–the scrub on your nose and T-zone, using the same light pressure you use to shave your legs.
Could it be your cell phone?
sometimes, clearing up your chin can be as simple as cleaning your cell phone–especially if you’re only breaking out on one side. When oil and bacteria accumulate on your phone, they can get pressed into your skin and clog your pores.
Do-It-Yourself: Sprinkle a quarter-size dab of baking soda into your palm. Moisten with a few drops of warm water, gently press into your face to exfoliate, and rinse.
Inside-Out Beauty: Your chin may also break out if your digestive system is out of balance. The jawline and chin correspond to the intestinal region in Chinese medicine.
  - probiotics, in supplements, yogurt, many fermented foods
  - 6-8 glasses of water, daily.
-----------------------------------
CHAPPED LIPS
The delicate tissue on the lips, easily chapped and prone to bacterial infection, is vulnerable in any weather. Wind and winter chill sap moisture from the lips, but so does exposure to the sun, surf, and chlorinated swimming pools. Many conventional lip balms contain petrolatum-based ingredients like mineral oil that appear slick and emollient, but because the skin can’t absorb them–the molecules are too big–they don’t actually condition or heal chapped lips. In fact, they just lie on the surface, creating an impermeable barrier that can actually clog the skin and lead to breakouts and bacterial infections. Instead, look for natural moisturizers like shea butter - beeswax - sweet almond oil - jojoba oil -  hempseed oil, all of which actually penetrate the skin.
If you’re prone to breakouts or bumps on the lips, look for lip balms with antibacterial essential oils like rosemary - mint and avoid camphor because it can dry the lips.
Aloe vera soothes chapped skin, and menthol can numb the pain if your lips are severely chapped.
Do-It-Yourself:
Mix a dab of honey with a bit of brown sugar. Apply to lips and gently massage back and forth with an old toothbrush. Sugar is a naturally abrasive exfoliant, and honey contains an exfoliating enzyme, as well as a mild antiseptic that kills bacteria and a natural humectant that helps the skin retain moisture.
----------------------------------------
DRY, FLAKY SKIN
Flaking on the cheeks, hairline, and brows may come from common dermatitis, or it could signal the presence of eczema, which can be a little harder to treat. Flaking is an inflammatory response to something that’s aggravating the body. Among the likely reasons:
- extreme weather - food allergies - chemical ingredients prone to generating an allergic reaction (contact dermatitis) in the skin, like those found in
heavy fragrances, laundry detergents, or harsh shampoos
. Any of these can shorten the life cycle of skin cells and lead to a buildup of dead skin, resulting in dryness, irritation, and flakes. Stress and age can also aggravate the problem. As we get older, our skin naturally becomes drier. The skin cells oxidize, and the cell walls can’t hold moisture like they once did. That’s why aging skin dehydrates, loses firmness, and starts to wrinkle. (Exposing unprotected skin to the sun can cause premature wrinkling, of course, because nothing oxidizes skin cells like those tanning UV rays.) Instead of heavy creams or lotions, look to moisturizing seed oils (pomegranate, rosehip, and grapeseed), which are light and thus move easily into the skin.
   - POMEGRANATE SEED OIL contains linolenic acid
    
 which promotes cell turnover and skin regeneration;
   - ROSEHIP, APRICOT, CARROT SEED OIL for vitamins A and C,
     which strengthen and protect skin;
   - grapeseed oil - the antioxidant resveratrol
  - hempseed oil contains linoleic and linolenic acid, anti-inflammatory ingredients that soothe skin.
Do-It-Yourself: Put a few drops of olive oil, which is rich in antioxidants and high in polyphenols, into a small bowl of warm water. Press a washcloth soaked in this gentle mixture on the skin for a few minutes. It will stimulate circulation, lift off dead skin cells, and moisturize.
------------------------
HYPERPIGMENTATION
e.g. spots, splotches during pregnancy or as you enter your 40s. 
Excess MELANIN which causes hyperpigmentation, is triggered by:
-chronic sun exposure -major hormonal shifts (as in pregnancy - perimenopause - menopause).
Once you’ve got it, it’s hard to get rid of it.
Traditional treatments like glycolic acids and Retin-A are harsh. People tend to overuse them, which leads to thinning of the skin, and thin skin is hypersensitive and more susceptible to sun damage...can lead to more age spots and further hyperpigmentation. (Warning: Don’t use these treatments if you’re pregnant.)
Protect your skin from the damaging UV rays - use a sunscreen dailyjojoba oil is a natural sunscreen, with an SPF between 10 and 15.
To lighten and fade pigmented areas, apply a GREEN PAPAYA mask once or twice a week, and look for creams with lightening agents like LICORICE EXTRACT - MANDARIN or TANGERINE OIL - MULBERRY EXTRACT. Natural remedies for pigmentation problems can take a few months before they start to work, so remain patient.
Do-It-Yourself:  Apply PLAIN YOGURT to your face three to four times a week. The lactic acid in the yogurt is a natural exfoliant.
---------------------------------------------------
BLOTCHINESS or Broken Capillaries (cheeks)
For red, flushed, blotchy, sensitive skin, put the blame on heat and sun, alcohol, extremes of temperature, or spicy foods.
When the capillaries under the skin’s surface dilate, it can result in redness and flushing, the same things that trigger rosacea... prevention is the best cure.
Include OMEGA-3s (anti-inflammatories found in FISH OIL - FLAXSEED OIL - WALNUT OIL) in your diet to protect, moisturize, and soothe the skin.
Use face oils, hydrosols, and creams with soothing and hydrating CHAMOMILE - LAVENDER - ROSE - VITAMIN K.
Do-It-Yourself: Chill ALOE VERA gel in the refrigerator. Apply to clean skin like a mask to soothe and calm the skin. Leave on for 10 minutes. Rinse with cool water.
---------------------------------------------------------
Rona Berg is the author of Beauty: The New Basics and Fast Beauty: 1,000 Quick Fixes (Workman Publishing).
Natural Solutions: Vibrant Health, Balanced Living -news on health conditions, herbs and supplements, natural beauty products, healing foods and conscious living.

Visibility: Everyone
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted: Nov 18, 2009 3:30pm

 

 
 
Content and comments expressed here are the opinions of Care2 users and not necessarily that of Care2.com or its affiliates.

Author

Thubten Chokyi
female , committed relationship, 2 children
Sydney, Australia
Shares by Type:
All (348) | Blog (298) | Alert (14) | Top 10 List (1) | Recipe (8) | Photo (1) | Tribute (1) | Message (25)

Showing shares tagged with: care [show all]
SHARES FROM THUBTEN'S NETWORK
Jun
19
(1 comments  |  discussions )
Pet food maker Natura has announced a massive voluntary recall of its brands of dry pet food due to salmonella concerns. The recall includes all Innova, California Natural, EVO, Healthwise, Mother Nature and Karma branded dry pet food ...
(0 comments  |  discussions )
A disease is killing the UK’s ash trees at an alarming rate and, once a tree is infected, there is no known cure. However, scientists may now be one step closer to a solution after unraveling the genome of a resistant ash tree cousin. Ash die-b...
Jun
18
(0 comments  |  discussions )
ml PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/REC -html4
(0 comments  |  discussions )
An Israeli zoo is making headlines for using acupuncture to try to ease the pain of one of its mature tigers, but is this really in the tiger’s best interests? Pedang, a 14-year-old male Sumatran tiger who is housed at the open-air Ramat Gan Sa...
Jun
17
(0 comments  |  discussions )
A new study presents startling findings that rapid climate change may threaten many more species of plants and animals than previous measures have led us to believe. The study, one of the biggest of its kind, found that only 6–9% of birds...
by Greg V.
(0 comments  |  discussions )
N 45° 14.651 W 113° 28.688 Directions (this is the site we used in 2000): From Interstate 15 near Dillon, Montana (about 60 miles south of the Interstate 90/15 interchange). Take the MT-278 exit, EXIT 59, toward Jackson/Wisdom. Just south of...
Jun
16
by Juta S.
(0 comments  |  discussions )
I have, many times, given others a "smokescreen of assumed vacuity" to avoid confrontation and agruments---really feel very unhappy when that happens; not only with me but with anyone else within my family....I have, throughought my life,  tried ...
(0 comments  |  discussions )
Vaccines are a medical wonder, but at the moment they are a pain: unpleasant for the recipient and difficult and costly to transport and store. In answer to this, scientists have now created a potentially revolutionary vaccine patch that is painless ...
by Greg V.
(0 comments  |  discussions )
eARTh heART: Why does the US Government fear trial by jury? NDA...: Remember Miranda? "You have the right to remain silent when questioned. Anything you say or do may be used against you in a court of...
by Greg V.
(0 comments  |  0 discussions )
Remember Miranda? "You have the right to remain silent when questioned. Anything you say or do may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during ...

Copyright © 2013 Care2.com, inc. and its licensors. All rights reserved