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Feb 2, 2011

In Praise of Supermom


Supermom has got a lot of flak recently. I feel that this is really not that fair. OK, so the rest of us mothers can, and do, feel super jealous and totally inadequate next to this rare and ethereal being, but that is no excuse for us to trip her up in a muddy puddle and then rub her face in the dirt until her make-up is smudged and her hair a mess.

Let’s take a look at her more closely. Let’s go past the spotless, perfectly ironed, totally fashionable clothes; the beautifully manicured hands; the wonderfully kitted out kids; the house and garden which could feature on the title pages of any home magazine around the world at any time; the sleek, well trained body; the perfectly chosen gifts which are so artistically wrapped; the home made and carefully crafted seasonal decorations and foods; the best birthday parties in town; the joyfully taxiing kids from one event to another; the careful crochet, knitting or other craft project performed while waiting for kids to finish activities ….

Yes, those are, indeed, things which could – and do – leave most other women and mothers feeling totally inadequate and frumpish. Especially when you add the percentage of these supermoms who also work in glamorous jobs into the equation.

But when we dig deeper, scratch under the surface, we begin see supermom more clearly. The harder we look, the clearer the picture becomes.

Supermom Unveiled.

We see an incredibly strong, talented and motivated woman who has somehow gone off course.

We see a tired, scared, stressed and overwhelmed human being who is scurrying around in her head to make sure that all the to-do lists are checked off and nothing has been forgotten. We see the shield which has been so carefully erected so that the panic and fear do not show on the outside. We see the furtive glances at other mothers, at magazines and at websites to check that they are really on top of everything and that the Joneses haven’t created a more dazzling seasonal display than they have. We see the long road travelled and the few steps left to total burnout and breakdown.

This is when we can lean back, sinking further into our deep bubble bath, heave a great sigh and turn the next page of the enthralling book we’re reading. This is when we can happily close the door on the cleaning closet and walk out the door with a smile on our face to have a coffee with a friend. This is when we can rough and tumble with our kids in the grass and not give a damn. This is when we can call out good night and go to our hobby class, swinging our bag lightly by our side.

So, rather than scowling and resenting our local supermoms, let’s all start reaching out our hand and heart, wishing her love, compassion and, most importantly, peace in her life and in her being. These are the things which will elude her most, no matter how hard she strives for them. She may have the cool perfection on the outside, but we have the warm happiness on the inside. Let’s open the door and let her in.

Written by Kirsten Bergen, Author of Happy Mother Happy Family, BoD, Germany, 2010
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Posted: Feb 2, 2011 1:02am


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Kirsten B.
, 2
Stuttgart, B-W, Germany
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