Three years ago Oct 23, my brother killed himself, they say he was schizophrenic. But I knew better. He had the visions and heard the voices. Not ones that told him to do bad things. They were of things that have happened or things that would happen. He heard the voices of the ones that have past. Like my mother he did not beleive in this either.
Unfortunitly, due to having a sever sleep disorder due to fibromyalgia, I have not had a dream sice I was 6. Which was when I would have my visions as a child. So needless to say I am no longer a seer.
Since my chilhood friend was the daughter of a prespiterian minister, my mother did allow me to pursue that rather than become a Catholic. But whenever I went to church, I would only be there for a few min and fall fast asleep. I felt as though I wasn't suppose to be there, and my body would rebel by falling asleep.
After church was over I would take a long walk into the woods and find my fav spot under a weeping willow, sitting on the bank of the stream. It was only there that I felt at home and alive. I never prayed like they taught me to in church instead, I would look to the earth and the sky and thank them for their bounty and beauty.
I'm 42 and only now realizing what I am. I always knew that I wasnt what "they" wanted me to be. But I have never known what I am.
I have always beleived in the ying/yang factor of life. eg. light/dark good/evil life /death ....in all things. And of the natives beliefs of cherishing the land and all living things. Always had a beleif in magic, and reincarnation. Since I was a child I have always watched all movies and read all novels pertaining to the supernatural, finding most of it a joke but there was always something in there that I just couldnt understand what was attracting me to it.
Now I am here to learn about me and what I am. It just took me awhile to get here. Thanks to Sassy, I fianally started the road to realization. Hope you can all bear with me as I learn.
P.S. Sorry about going on so long. And I'm really, really sorry about my spelling.