PARENT - Job Description

This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way,
I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!!

POSITION :
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop, Papa

JOB DESCRIPTION :

Long term, team players needed, for challenging,
permanent work in an
often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES :

The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a
pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings
for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, and
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work throughout the facility.  Chauffeur, counselor, nurse and teaching ability a necessity.  Cook, laundress and volunteer in children's activities when no one else wants the job.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :

None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills,
so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :

None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :

Get this!   You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :

While no health or dental insurance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered;
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love,
and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

    AND A FOOTNOTE 'THERE IS NO RETIREMENT  -EVER!!!

Believe it...Embrace it.......GOD has your back!!!
 

Have a great day…

 
"Until one has loved an animal, part of their soul remains unawakened."
 
 
 
Hi, all you animal lovers!
This is pretty  simple... Please ask ten friends to each ask a further ten today!
The Animal Rescue Site is having trouble getting  enough people to click on it daily so they can meet their quota of  getting FREE FOOD donated every day to abused and neglected animals.  It takes less than a minute (about 15 seconds) to go to their site  and click on the purple box 'fund food for animals for free'. This  doesn't cost you a thing.
Their corporate  sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate food  to abandoned/neglected animals in exchange for advertising.
Here's the web site! Please pass it along to people you know.
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/
 
AGAIN, PLEASE TELL 10  FRIENDS!

NCCS Survivorship Community to me

NCCS

Special Complimentary Ticket Offer for an Evening of Skating, Song and Survivorship!

NCCS invites you and your family and friends to be our guests at the taping of Kaleidoscope <www.canceradvocacy.org/about/events/kaleidoscope.html>, a televised celebration of skating, song and survivorship featuring Olympic figure skaters and GRAMMY Award- winning musicians!

The Event

Mark your calendars for 7:00 p.m., Monday, Nov. 16 when the legendary Scott Hamilton and Dorothy Hamill return to the ice for the live taping at the Verizon Center in Washington, D.C. "Kaleidoscope" is a holiday variety special featuring Olympic skating champions and GRAMMY Award-winning music artists, including Olivia Newton-John and one of America's foremost music
producers, David Foster.

The show addresses issues surrounding women and cancer through an extraordinary collaboration with 10 advocacy partners, including NCCS. "Kaleidoscope" will feature Cancerversary.org in a segment of the broadcast.

Kaleidoscope will air on FOX from 4:00 p.m. - 5:30 p.m. (EST) on Thanksgiving Day (Nov. 26, 2009), immediately following the Thanksgiving Day football telecast.

How to Get Free Tickets

Create a Cancerversary Page! <www.canceradvocacynow.org/site/TRR/Events/General?pg=tcfund&fr_id=1050&fr_tm_opt=new> NCCS is offering free tickets to the taping of Kaleidoscope to anyone who creates a Cancerversary page between today and Tuesday, November 10th. Once you create a cancerversary page, you will get a confirmation e-mail that includes a special promotional code for use on Ticketmaster.

Acknowledge your own Cancerversary or honor a friend or loved one by creating a Cancerversary page! Many survivors commemorate a significant date or period of time from their cancer journey - even if they don't have a name for it. This might be a celebration or a time of quiet reflection, but it's always about survivorship. A Cancerversary page can tell your personal survivorship story, honor a friend or loved one, or pay tribute to someone you've lost.

Purchase your Tickets Online. <www.ticketmaster.com/event/1500431FCDD7A87A?artistid=1367314&majorcatid=10003&minorcatid=55> If you don't want to make a Cancerversary page, but still would like to attend, you can purchase your tickets through Ticketmaster. Prices range from $20 - $115 depending on seating.

 Snow Pictures From December 7th. 2006.

Album: Cold Weather Thursday Evening Snow December 7th. 2006 by Harold Self (2297)

This was sent to me by a lady friend hoping she can get some help here.

If you need a smile and have a minute...take a look at the following link.  It is my nephew Mike and my furry-great-niece, Bailey.  The link is: http://milkbone.icmodus.com/?id=8296
 
It takes about 3 minutes to set up a user name & password and then you can vote once a day (from each email address). 
 
They have a 1 in 100 chance of winning $100,000 from Milkbone.  But they need votes!
 
I don't usually send this kind of email, but I think this is great!  
(Many of you know that this is my niece Jamie & her husband Mike, a.k.a. Myla's parents.)
 
Debbi
 
 
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi Aunt Deb,
 
Great news, our dog Bailey is a finalist in the Milkbone 100th Anniversary Spokesdog contest.  She is 1 of 100 finalists for being the Spokesdog and $100,000 winner.  The winner is selected based on online voting for a special moment video we submitted.
 
I’d love your help voting. Online voting started October 19th and ends November 18th . Rules are each person can only vote once per day.  PLEASE VOTE DAILY.
 
The link is: http://milkbone.icmodus.com/?id=8296
 
Please share with family, friends, coworkers, your dog, and anyone else that might be interested with helping..
 
Click the link (or copy and paste the address) to view her video.  We think it's the best one!  
 
 
Thanks,
 
Harold

 just took action to stop people from breeding tigers as pets and thought you might want to do the same.  You can even send a YouTube video message about it there!

Click on this URL to take action now
http://capwiz.com/bigcatrescue/utr/2/?a=10730941&i=1234&c=

If your email program does not recognize the URL as a link,
copy the entire URL and paste it into your Web browser.