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George W. Bush: My Résumé
Jan 21, 2006
George W. Bush: My Résumé

Arrest Record, Crimes & Misdemeanors:

o Two negligent collisions, July & Aug 1962 at Houston Texas - Fined.

o Two speeding tickets, July & Aug 1964 at Houston Texas - Fined

o Arrested for Disorderly Conduct, December 1966 at New Haven Connecticut - Charges were dropped.

o Arrested for Disorderly Conduct in New Jersey, in 1967 - Cautioned and set free.

o At least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine when I was 30 years old, where I pled guilty, was fined and suspended from driving.

Past Work Experience:

o Ran for congress and lost.

o Served for a decade on the board of a company that financed several R-rated, slasher and sundry B movies.

o Bought an oil company and generated an astounding $3.1 Million debt, sold the company to another Texas oil baron, and then sold it again to my dad's Saudi friends and made over $1.5 MILLION from the sweetheart deal. I sold all my stock just in the nick of time, using insider information, to a wealthy Saudi friend of my father.

o Bought a small portion of the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that forcibly took land using eminent domain and tax-payer money. Most notable decision: Traded Sammy Sosa to the White Sox for Harold Baines.

o Most notable profiteering: Parlayed a $605K loan into a $14.9 Million profit using taxpayer money and eminent domain laws to evict homeowners, obtain land and increase the value of the shares in the Texas Rangers.

o Elected to governorship of Texas, with the help of George Bush Sr. and generous donations and support from wealthy oilmen and Christian evangelicals.

Accomplishments While Governor of Texas:

o Relaxed pollution laws for power and oil companies (I "grandfathered" the dirtiest coal burning power plants, making them exempt from clean air laws, for example) and made Texas the most polluted state in the Union, in 1999. I invited polluters to write Texas's environmental policies, a theme that I carried on into the White House after I was selected President. The same year, Houston had the "highest ozone level reading in the nation", and was second most ozone polluted city in the country from 1997 through 1999.

o Slashed taxes, reduced state revenue to the point of bankruptcy and put the Texas government in debt for billions in borrowed money, the interest for which is now paid for by the Texas taxpayer.

o Set a record for the most executions by any Governor in American history and became famous for publicly mocking Faye Tucker, a Christian female death row inmate, for her passionate clemency plea before she was executed.

o Appointed US President, on a questionable decision by a highly partisan Supreme Court, after losing the popular vote by over 500,000 votes.

Accomplishments While US President:

o I attacked and invaded two countries so far, losing more US soldiers after I claimed "Mission Accomplished" than the total number who were killed during full combat operations in both wars combined.

o I spent the largest surplus in the history of the country and nearly bankrupted the treasury.

o I shattered records for the biggest annual deficit in history.

o Set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in a 12 month cycle of any presidency, beating the previous record which was set during the depression years.

o Set all-time record for biggest loss of value in the history of the stock market during any presidency ($5 Trillion drop equaling a 27% drop in investor stock portfolios from the date of my inauguration).

o First president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.

o First president in US history to enter office with a criminal record.

o First year in office set the all-time record for most days on vacation by any president in US history and continued that practice throughout my term in office.

o On August 6th, with plenty of time available to prevent or thwart the predicted attack, I received a Presidential Daily Briefing entitled, "Bin Ladin Determined To Strike Inside The US" and later claimed that "I never saw any intelligence that indicated there was going to be an attack on America", and due to my charm and excellent public speaking skills, I made the press and the people believe me instead of the facts.

o After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, I presided over the worst security failure in US history, the September 11 attack on the World Trade Center, and sat calmly expressing strength, bravery and reserve for at least 7 minutes during the attack, standing sure and certain, strong as a rock, while almost 3,000 American people died.

o Set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips on Air Force 1 than any other president in US history.

o I approved and allowed my Saudi friends to traverse the country, hopping from airport to airport, and fly to Saudi Arabia. This was while the rest of the country was in fear of its life after several Saudis perpetrated the worst crime in the history of the United States. (9/11)

o In my first three years in office over 3.3 million Americans lost their jobs, so I asked for another $550,000,000,000 (that's $550 BILLION) in tax cuts because they're obviously working.

o Appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any president in US history.

o Set the record for the fewest amount of solo press conferences than any president since the advent of television.

o Presided over the biggest energy crises in US history and refused to intervene when ENRON corruption was revealed and many states faced bankruptcy.

o Presided over the highest gasoline prices in US history and refused to use the national strategic oil reserves to alleviate the crisis. Instead I filled up the reserves while the prices were high. (I treat my friends well)

o Cut healthcare benefits for war veterans while posing on aircraft carriers in a flight suit and despite praising the troops at every opportunity.

o My presidency is the most secretive and unaccountable of any in US history, surpassing the secrecy of the Nixon administration at its darkest moments.

o Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US history. (The 'poorest' multi-millionaire, Condoleezza Rice, had a Chevron oil tanker named after her)

o Presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud (ENRON, WorldCom, Global Crossing) of any market in any country in the history of the world.

o First president in US history to order an illegal, unilateral and unprovoked attack and military occupation of a sovereign nation.
 
o First president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the human rights commission.

o First president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the elections monitoring board.

o I have systematically eroded the civil liberties of American citizens more than at any other time in US history.

o I have promoted and passed landmark laws making sweeping new surveillance activities, spying, arrest, imprisonment, interrogation, and obtained the power to order the death of any person, without cause or due process.

o Withdrew from the World Court (Permanent Court of International Justice) and I refuse to recognize it unless it gives my administration, the US and global corporations special immunity so that the US can continue to torture and kill anyone in the world with complete impunity.

o Refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war and refused to abide by the Geneva Conventions regarding prisoners of war by cleverly classifying them as "enemy combatants", thereby allowing us to circumvent the Geneva Conventions.
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Posted: Jan 21, 2006 5:05am

 
 
 
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RC deWinter
female, age 62, divorced
Middletown, CT, USA
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