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Jan 8, 2006
OKAY peoples...I don't know about you, but my husband DOES a lot of these things...so please don't think I am just man-bashing for the hell of it...this is truly funny and has more than a kernel of reality in it! I mean - MEN! Can't live with 'em, can't kill 'em...



- Cate


How to Shower Like a Man

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.

Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair and make a shampoo Mohawk.

Pee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.

Admire wiener size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.

If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something so very wrong with you.

Have a great day – and - woo-woo !


Visibility: Everyone
Tags: , ,
Posted: Jan 8, 2006 2:43pm
Dec 17, 2005
  We have all had bad dates....but this one takes the
  cake. This just tells you how tough it is to be
  single nowadays. This was on the "Tonight Show" with
  Jay Leno. Jay went into the audience to find the
  most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had.
  The winner described her worst date experience.
  There was absolutely no question as to why her tale
  took the prize!
  She said it was midwinter...snowing and quite
  cold...and the guy had taken her skiing in the
  mountains outside
Salt Lake City, Utah
. It was a day
  trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all,
  and truly had never met before. The outing was fun
  but relatively uneventful until they were headed
  home late that afternoon. They were driving back
  down the mountain, when she gradually began to
  realize that she should not have had that extra
  latte. They were about an hour away from anywhere
  with a restroom and in the middle of nowhere! Her
  companion suggested she try to hold it, which she
  did for a while.
 
Unfortunately, because of the
  heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where
  she told him that he had better stop and let her pee
  in the road, or it would be the in the front seat of
  his car.
  They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the
  car, yanked her pants down and started. In the deep
  snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her
  butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself.
  Her companion stood on the side of the car watching
  for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and
  refrained from peeking. All she could think about
  was the relief she felt despite the rather
  embarrassing nature of the situation.
  Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of
  another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants,
  the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly
  glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues
  frozen to pump handles immediately came to mind as
  she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy
  metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand
  new problem due to the extreme cold.
  Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor
  of the moment, she answered her date's concerns
  about "what is taking so long" with a reply that
  indeed, she was "freezing her butt off and in need
  of some assistance!"
  He came around the car as she tried to cover herself
  with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly
  into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got
  the giggles and when they finally managed to compose
  themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as
  hysterical as the situation was, they also were
  faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take
  something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the
  grip of the icy metal.
 Thinking about what had gotten her into the
  predicament in the first place, both quickly
  realized that there was only one way to get her
  free. So, as she looked the other way, her
  first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee
  her butt off of the fender.
  As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the
  Tonight Show prize hands down...or perhaps that
  should be "pants down". .And you thought your
  first date was embarrassing. Jay Leno's
  comment..."This gives a whole new meaning to being
  pissed off".

 
 

Visibility: Everyone
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Posted: Dec 17, 2005 4:50am

 

 
 
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