22,428,706 members doing good!
about our ads
share your passions, stories, inspirations, and more
For My Son, With Love & Trepidation
Feb 16, 2007



The bitter scent of myrrh wafts through the room
as sunlight floods in,
streaming through the mullioned panes.
I sit, adrift in thought, the heavy mantle of motherhood
shrinkwrapped 'round my brain,
containing all my stormcloud brooding in one shallow space,
forcing the mind's eye to concentrate, to pick apart the whole
into jagged fragments.
What will become of him, the one I birthed and suckled, guided with fierce love from a helpless ball of utter need
to this leggy little stranger, so like me yet so not,
cast from the concrete of my bones and blood but burdened with his own stubborn legacy of highstrung expectation,
his world so black and white and never blurred with tonal shading,
his eyes attuned to everything with merciless precision?
What can I do to ready him for the unfairness,
all the sly and secret serpents slithering soundlessly in the garden,
that bitter pill, betrayal, so often capsuled in
the sweetest pleasure?
I know his dreams, his hurts, his wants like I know my own,
yet cannot pave his pathway smooth.
He is like me that way, must fall and rise and stumble on,
the stones of indifference kicked aside or clambered 'round,
but not without some bruising.
Can I gift him with some small wisdom, a glass to help him see
life not as a destination but a journey to be savored,
not a vulgar outsized diamond to be captured
but a series of small jewels to be strung,
not an end but a beginning?
Love your work, I told him.
Love yourself too, for if you stand strong with what you create
without and within,
the world may not always or ever love you, but will respect
your strength and candor.
Sing loud your song, I said, regardless of the critics
who may scorn it.
Look in the mirror, love what you see.
If you do not you must examine carefully the bits and pieces
of your mind, your soul, your innermost desires
and embrace wholly what you find,
or polish and refine or discard that which displeases,
so that when you sit in the pale piercing light of consciousness
you recognize your truth and own it always.
I worry, toss and turn but know I can do no more for him
than give him my acceptance,
perhaps subtly, occasionally shaping this sweet clay
without disturbing his own being.
He will be who he is.
I want him to be who he is - not me, not anyone
but that immortal spark of spirit he embodies.
He will be who he is.


© 1998 RC deWinter

Sleep softly, beloved Eben...
December 26, 1987-February 3, 2007
(0) | () | | send green star | flag as inappropriate
Visibility: Everyone
Tags: , ,
Posted: Feb 16, 2007 3:01pm

 
 
 
Content and comments expressed here are the opinions of Care2 users and not necessarily that of Care2.com or its affiliates.

Author

RC deWinter
female, age 62, divorced
Middletown, CT, USA
Shares by Type:
All (166) | Blog (51) | Alert (1) | Photo (1) | Tribute (1) | Message (112)

Showing shares tagged with: tribute [show all]
ads keep care2 free
SHARES FROM RC'S NETWORK
May
22
(1 comments  |  discussions )
Some Spanish lessons (algunas lecciones de Español)Don't worry, be happy! (No te preocupes, se feliz!)Hugs and blessings, (abrazos y bendiciones)Angeles
May
19
by Lisa G.
(0 comments  |  discussions )
The rich variety of music in the first Elizabethan age is something we can all enjoy today. Renaissance and Elizabethan music came in two categories - sacred and secular. Translate that as religious and fun! There were no conflicts between mods, rocke...
May
14
(0 comments  |  discussions )
Please be careful....A friend of mine sent me this information and I wanted share it to help us all be safe. Caringly, Stuart  http://www.snopes.com/cri me/warnings/bottlebomb.as p  PLEASE READ AND FORWARD. Ki...
(0 comments  |  discussions )
Ashley is our middle cat and only female.At 11:48 a.m. Thursday, 9 May 2013 in a valiant battle against agressive lung cancer, Ashley died at home.
May
13
(0 comments  |  discussions )
Joe Newby On Saturday, Terry M. Hestilow, a retired United States Army Captain from Fort Worth, Texas, posted a letter on Facebook that he wrote to Sen. John Cornyn, R-Texas, warning that the Department of Homeland Security is preparing to go to w...
(0 comments  |  discussions )
Joe Newby On Saturday, Terry M. Hestilow, a retired United States Army Captain from Fort Worth, Texas, posted a letter on Facebook that he wrote to Sen. John Cornyn, R-Texas, warning that the Department of Homeland Security is preparing to go ...
May
12
(1 comments  |  discussions )
Mama's Day Cards You Won't Find at the Drugstore Society & Culture  (tags: mothersday, mothers, families, queer, transgender, immigrants, strongfamilies ) BMutiny  - huffingtonpost.com The group...commissioned a group of artis...
May
9
(1 comments  |  discussions )
R.I.P. Dear Windstar....You are no longer in pain...Wait for me my Bigstar...So we can cross over Rainbow BridgeTogether.
May
8
(0 comments  |  discussions )
Ever since I saw that horrific pic of the bricks pelting ''Windstar'' the beautiful white horse, I can't get it out of my mind. To think a group of people--or maybe it was an individual!--would actually do something like that totally blows my min...
May
5
(1 comments  |  0 discussions )
If you care about seeing your loved ones againRepent of your sins If you want to make it into HeavenOpen your heart and Let Jesus in!Don't be an atheist, they only do the devil's workand the devil is the opposite of God...He is DARK and CRUEL and make...

Copyright © 2013 Care2.com, inc. and its licensors. All rights reserved