Feb 4, 2007
In the Shadow of the Lighthouse
The foghorn was blowing relentlessly, soft and sad, the night
we first talked about forever.
Do you remember? We were at the shore.
It was an early October night, and you just weren't sleepy.
"Foghorns sound sad. How come?" you asked.
"Oh, maybe just because they have seen too many shipwrecks,"
You were silent for several minutes, and then you said,
"Do you know what sailboats remind me of?"
"No," I replied. "Tell me."
You hugged me close around the neck and said,
"Sailboats remind me of forever."
You spoke so softly in the misty, damp dark as we lay, peaceful,
breathing in the salty air and listening
to the the music of the crickets and the sea.
That was the night I first realized what an old soul inhabits
your newly-minted child's body.
That was the night I discovered that you feel things like I do,
the waves of the ages washing over you and binding you
tightly to all time.
That was the night, lying in the shadow of the lighthouse,
that I knew your path would be uphill, strewn with stones,
not level, smooth as glass.
My path is rocky too.
My hand is here for you to hold when all the world seems
gray and indecipherable, the mist too thick
to penetrate alone.
I promise I will listen.
I cannot promise to agree, or even to always understand,
but I can promise you I will listen.
If I can light a beacon in the woolly enveloping fog
of the mysterious unfolding world,
I will shine it brightly for you.
© 1998, 2007 Regina Coeli de Winter
My beloved son, Eben Lassen, died in his sleep
in the early morning hours of February 3rd, 2007.
Eben, I know you are sailing now.
I'll love you forever...
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