START A PETITION 27,000,000 members: the world's largest community for good
START A PETITION
x
May 31, 2006
WHY WOMEN ARE CRABBY


We started to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find that anything that came in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurt so bad it brought us to tears. So came the ridiculously uncomfortable training bra contraption that the boys in school would snap until we had calluses on our backs.



Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we bloated, we cramped, we got the hormone crankies, had to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.


Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) was having sex for the first time which was about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.



Then it' was off to Motherhood where we learned to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we didn't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learned to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we were preparing to have Rosemary's Baby.


Our once flat bellies looked like we swallowed a watermelon whole and we pee'd our pants every time we sneezed. When the big moment arrived, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we had to waddle, with our big cartoon feet, moaning in pain all the way to the ER.



Then it was huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, "Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. Just one more good push (more like 10)," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the %*..!* (and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10lb bowling ball through a keyhole.


After that, it was time to raise those angels only to find that when all that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morphed into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.


Then come their "Teen Years." Need I say more?


When the kids are almost grown, we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our early 40's - while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday.


So we progress into the grand finale: "The Menopause," the Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves.


Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men, when men get off so easy, INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks...


So, while I love being a woman, "Womanhood" would make the Great Gandhi a tad crabby. Women are the "weaker sex"? Yeah right. Bite me.



Send this to seven bright women you know and make their day!!! Or at least make them laugh a little.....


 

Visibility: Everyone
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted: May 31, 2006 5:49am

 

 
 
Content and comments expressed here are the opinions of Care2 users and not necessarily that of Care2.com or its affiliates.

Author

Becky Ayers
, 2, 4 children
Forney, TX, USA
Shares by Type:
All (66) | Blog (39) | Alert (6) | Top 10 List (1) | Recipe (1) | Photo (1) | Tribute (4) | Message (14)

Showing shares tagged with: pms [show all]
SHARES FROM BECKY'S NETWORK
Feb
15
(0 comments  |  discussions )
New Petition! Speak out against Time-Warner Merger with Comcast! Let your opinion be know before your bill goes up and your programming choices dwindle.\\r\\n\\r\\nUrge DOJ and FCC to Not Allow Merger of Time-Warner and Comcast\\r\\nhttp://www.t hepetitionsi...
Feb
13
(0 comments  |  discussions )
New Petition! Speak out against Time-Warner Merger with Comcast! Let your opinion be know before your bill goes up and your programming choices dwindle.\\r\\n\\r\\nUrge DOJ and FCC to Not Allow Merger of Time-Warner and Comcast\\r\\nhttp://www.t hepetitionsi...
Feb
3
(0 comments  |  discussions )
\\n\\r\\n\\r\\n\\r\\n\\r\ \nA simple one page website has gone up with a very intriguing and important message. The site, Patriots for America is organizing w hat could be the march on Washington that all of the others have been a lead up to. The anger...
Dec
24
by Good H.
(0 comments  |  discussions )
\\nNorthern California Beach Reading 500 CPM on 12/20/2013 - Fukushima Radiation Is Here. Via @ AGreenRoad. \\r\\nFr om Rense; \\\"The above video was taken today with an Inspector Plus Geiger counter by \\\'Dave\\\', giving readings on a Northern Californ...
Nov
21
by Good H.
(0 comments  |  discussions )
\\n\\n\\nAntimatter  \\n\\nAccording to wiki; \\\"A classic staple of science fiction and superhero stories, anti-matter  is matter composed of antiparticles, subatomic particles that have mostly exactly the same properties (mass, intrinsic angu...
by Good H.
(0 comments  |  discussions )
\\nBeginning in the 1950s, American and Soviet scientists engaged in a dangerous race to see who could build and detonate the world\\\'s largest bomb. In the Soviet Union, Andrei Sakharov was the architect of this bomb. \\n\\nAccordin g to the movie, A...
Nov
19
by Good H.
(0 comments  |  discussions )
\\nAccording to NIRS; \\\"Marine life in all forms, from endangered manatees and sea turtles to essential microscopic organisms, is being harmed and killed by once-through cooling systems, used to remove waste heat at nuclear power stations. \\n\\nA t...
by Good H.
(0 comments  |  discussions )
\\n\\n\\n\\n\\n3/18/11: \\\"The source term provided to NARAC was: (1) 25% of the total fuel in unit 2 (SFP) released to the atmosphere, (2) 50% of the total spent fuel from unit 3 (SFP) was released to the atmosphere, and (3) 100% of the total spent fuel wa...
Nov
14
by Good H.
(1 comments  |  discussions )
\\n \\n Every nuclear reactor is a military industrial complex stocked up with 1300 weapons of mass destruction that if released for ANY reason, can wipe out all life on the planet, from just ONE nuclear reactor. If a Carrington Event happens, whic...
Nov
12
by Good H.
(0 comments  |  0 discussions )
\\n \\n \\n http://www.agreenroadproj ect.org A nuclear subcontractor ordered workers at Fukushima to cover their dosimeters with lead to lower official levels of radiation would be reported; allowing workers to work longer hours inside the plant. By...