"Line up your life. Do your part by starting with you first. Think 
responsibly,
act responsibly, and create responsibly from the heart. 
Live your light and 
live your heart and it will be heaven on earth."

Starting with yourself first - Ruth has been saying 
this to me since
she arrived, I have been ill since last I wrote - 
no, no sympathy folks, 
is all m' own fault - if we don't look after the body 
it gives in and the 
immune system folds and whatever virus is floating 
around finds an easy 
home, so I am multi vits and a tonic, plus eating 
regularly/properly!! With
lots of rest, my energy levels have never been so 
low, well not in 20 years.
.......mmmmmmmm

Crikey how long ago did I write the above mmmmmm 
and yes I think I must
have had a virus as after the events close friends said 
they were worried 
about me as I looked really quite grey loverly LOL, 
it all coincided with 
the end of my "1st year" yeah it did come as a jolt 
and you know I don't 
think the first years is the worst no it's when that 
first one ends and then 
it really rocks home what has happened and how life 
has changed and how 
much I miss my best buddy, no matter how many lovely 
friends I have and 
I appreciate and adore each and every one of 'em and
their different views 
etc, none can know me as well as D did, there is no-one I
can talk to as I did
with him and the future stretches out..........along with not
being well I went down emotionally to a low place not a
place I want to share on  line apart from the 
fact it could upset some who pass through here - but I
am back and although 
the hole is still there I am learning to live with it.

Ruth having stayed with me for 6 weeks has now moved

into an apartment just 
round the corner - her sister and new hubby arrive on 
the 24th till the 4th so 
we will all be together for the new year - yep I shall
go out this year how can 
I not - the universe has ensured that it will be so
Have I mentioned Remi her sister Carmen and Africa 
to you ah well you will 
catch up - I now do inter cambio with Africa every
week and my Spanish is 
improving poco poco and they are always popping in 
and out as does Ruth so 
life is no lonely - we had afoto shoot the other day as
I got them to model 
some of my crochet so let me introduce them to you 
- Africa

Carmen

Remi Africa and Carmen



A new shop on the high street has opened run by an artist who s
ells her 
artwork along with flowers and strangely enough pet products - 
anyway 
she is only too happy to take my stuff, so at last a permanent 
space within 
the village - she has masses of space when it gets cleared and
she is gonna
be doing exhibitions and says I could have an exhibition of my
stuff....mmmmmm
......she also wants to create a space for people who want to come 
and chat 
with a cultural edge to it........
little birdies have been telling me a lot of "lighted" people are 
turning up here 
of late as well, bring 'em in

Squidge is now all chipped and jagged, now just the long wait till
her blood 
results come back from Madrid which takes about 3 months........

Funny how one tabletop sale can be so different from another
last month 
I did really well this month despite being the Xmas fair I sold nadir 
- hey ho 
well I have been invaded by the ladies so much concentration needed 
to 
follow and join in conversations
Blessings Be xx

There is a need for concentration on whatever part of our individual,mental, or spiritual education needs finishing as we stand on thethreshold of moving into Saturn in Libra and all the radicallydifferent lessons that will bring. It will certainly restructurewhatever area it falls in our charts, with methods moving from knownVirgo routines into potential Libra routines.October has been a dress rehearsal for lessons to come between Apriland July 2010, the last time Saturn will be in Virgo until 2036. Thatwill complete our Virgo lessons and restructuring.Saturn crystalizes all it touches. It gives structure, boundaries,limitations, and clarity about things through its patient, steadyrhythm of unfoldment. The life principle symbolized by Saturn is saidto be "exalted" in Libra. That means that Saturn finds its "grounds forgreatest growth" in the sign of Libra. If nothing else, it shows theneed for responsibility in all of life's contracts. These include the"contracts" we make with our Higher Self as well as worldlyinvolvements.[aquarius papers] So if Libra falls in the sun what does that mean in real terms?? Ansas on a postcard please.....Well I gotta like this bit   Libra'sreasonableness and moderation are healthy antidotes for the stubborn selfish extremism that seems so prevalent today.but I never said I was free of ALL the traps lolLibra, when freed of the traps of superficiality, vanity, extravagance, timidity, indecisiveness, vacillation, impatience, and getting too theoretical, demonstrate a harmonious, cooperative, agreeable impartial consideration for others that brings a greater sense of belonging to everyone involved.Despite all that is going on around me I have been able to get some crochet done, a few basics bags n slippers, started on a shawl and then got the urge to start another jacket, Kurt, Ruth's brother is going to take some good pics for me and they are on about putting it together in some kind of catalogue, so much enthusiasm and many ideas flowing...we shall see what actually becomes reality........I am aware of this totally new energy now in my home, don't get me wrong it aint bad - just very different - something that I need to adapt to and recognise what there is to learn from it, why it is here and now.....fodder for thoughtWe contacted Julia [Ruth's daughter if you can't keep up or track, not surprising, am amazed I am managing to thus far] earlier to see if she and Selina, her daughter, would come out for a week.....she is thinking about it......Thinking some more about the J boy, I cannot "blame" him, I was bordering on obsessive when it came to what one got the other did equally, or at least I believe I tried, maybe J & L see it from a different perspective, so all J is endeavouring to do now is "keep the balance"Ruth & I spent some time this morning talking about how we perceived our kids childhoods and how they see it as they look back, 2 differing realities - so if the differences can be so great between 2 people who have shared a life for many years and to all intent and purposes have shared many of  the same experiences - is it not so difficult to understand why people of differing cultures [not shared collective experiences] cannot comprehend each other...ooooo I have just been handed some fabby German choccy marzipanny jammy thing mmmmmmm, it has been a long day for the German contingency having taken an early flight to Alicante and then go to collect a hire car to drive on down here, so they are all crashing early....zzzzzzz......when the Killers are finished I shall shut down and head for  zeds to...........Wednesday morning and have just gotten back from my sunrise walk with Squidge, all is peaceful in the casa as everyone sleeps and I am feeling so much better that I shall go up to the gym this morning and then see what the day has to bring/offer........The question of whether we or anyone else deserves something is not really in our jurisdiction. These themes play themselves out in ways we can’t fully comprehend—on the level of the soul, over the course of many lifetimes. What we do know is that the universe has its own way of shifting the balance over the course of time so that all things are ultimately fair. We can trust in this process and understand that when a gift comes our way, it is because we are meant to have it. Otherwise, it would not be available to us. Accepting the gift with gratitude and using it to the best of our ability is true humility.If you would like to begin to make the shift into half-full consciousness, try imagining your life as an empty glass. This is your life without all the people you know, the work you do, your home, or your current state of physical wellbeing. This is just an empty, open space waiting to be filled. Once you have that feeling of openness in your mind, begin filling it with all the people, things, and places that make up your life. You may be surprised to find your glass overflowing.

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Here I am sitting in Lau's flat in a few hours I will be heaing back to Spain where no doubt the sun is still shining and a little warmer

It has been a fab few days, sadly J didn't make it up for one reason and another, hey ho another time!!

Maria has an amazing flat by the sea - couldn't be better if she tried, big airy and bright. Us girls had a lotta fun and Bu Stu coped with us all exceedingly well and at Maria's hoose you certainly can meet a variety of characters - many of whom make me look normal lol - but all beautiful people.

Lau has been a star and I had a perfectly splendid time with her

Interesting reading - mmm, funny how I am a believer but a sceptical believer, you know wanting to beleive but well aware how our emotions will cling to such phenomena which makes people vulnerble........well this lady did blow me away - she had never met Del nor seen pics of him, nadir!!! Yet when she started to read my tarot, she said sh had someone buttung in, noone she recognised {I felt my resistace go up}, I say nothing and she begins to describe this entity to me, big eyes, quite wrinkly, hair how he is sitting what he is doing - it could be no other it was D she was descibing and then she repeated what he was saying using phrases that were personal to him and me.........and my reading was good and if nothig else put me into a very positive place -  so onwards and upwards folks.......

I am kinda sorry that I didn't get to see Christine and Sindy, but time gets the better of me every time

till my visit to Scotland on Thursday, before that there is the Romeria and a Bird Fair happening this w/e in the village, I have been asked along with many others to have a stall, they are releasing 4 birds of prey at noon from up at the municiple pool, being about the highest point where lots of people can congregate; as per usual there will be free food laid on as part of the Romeria [lots of people dressed up on horseback gather in the main plaza and then head up to what used to be known as Venta Carmen, now Venta Francis and for those who walk along behind there will be more free food at the venta. I am hoping to get packed up before 2 on the Sunday and head up to V.F. meet up with A & J.Well it has been an intense week, I thought I was doing OK but Monday and Tuesday hit harder than I expected, but it has to be gotten through. L&K leaving on Wed was quite hard hitting to, I have gotten so used to them being just round the corner, Leigh popping in most days - but - everything constantly changes......Yesterday I heard from a friend who has been threatening to come over as soon as her job came to an end and suddenly it has, I had to call her quick to stop her booking a flight for next week, life will certainly change with Ruth around, I suspect another interesting experience on it's way!!Have a good full moon folks - the time to reflect and to give thanks - harvest moon - Blessings Be.....Redirecting the EruptionIntense emotions demand intense modes of expression. While there are many outlets for the feelings typically deemed positive, however, there are far fewer methods for constructively coping with anger, frustration, fear, sadness, or stress. Consequently, such feelings can cause us to believe that we are no longer in control of our emotional state. Backed into a mental corner, we may lash out at the first individual we encounter. Most of us will quickly discover that our misdirected outpouring of fury has not relieved the pressure of our pain. Powerful emotions are like the lava in a volcano poised to erupt—held in check with nothing but an eroding layer of calm. Within us lies the power to direct the flood of feeling that surges forth by channeling it into productive, artistic, or laborious pursuits.Retaking control of our emotions at their height can be difficult because our already negative feelings can convince us that others are deserving of our wrath. But if we consciously look for healthier ways of expressing what we feel, we can both safely dispel our pain and use the energy of that pain to add value to our lives. Anger and sadness, for example, can become the inspiration that induces us to dedicate ourselves to bringing about the change we wish to see in the world. If we act rather than react, we can become effective agents of positive transformation. When we channel our frustration or feelings of stress into outside-the-box thinking and proactive exploits, we are more apt to discover solutions to the issues that initially left us stymied. And if we view fear as a signal that we need to reexamine our circumstances rather than a cue to flee, we may gain new and unexpected insight into our lives.Channeling your emotions into constructive action can also prevent you from engaging in cyclical rumination in which you repeatedly relive the situation, event, or expectation that originally sparked your feelings in your mind’s eye. Since you are focused on a goal, even if your ambition is merely to better understand yourself, your pain is no longer being fed by your intellectual and emotional energy and quickly ebbs away. You not only avoid lashing out at others, but you also actively take part in your own healing process while honestly acknowledging and honoring your feelings.

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The rains have returned - didn't get light till nearly 8:15 this morning, as my sleep patterns have all gone awry again I have been up since well before dawn, printing out another 10 copies of Amanda's Recipe book - reading stuff online - sent a card for 
Rowan Berry's Bday.
Spoke to La yesterday who is just back from her Bulgarian holiday, which from 
what I can gather was an experience!! She is feeling a little weepy as she looks 
back on this time last year - the Sunday was when we both went as per usual in the 
morning to be told Del wasn't gonna make it and everything was to be turned off
and so we sat and waited and waited.......although I feel great sadness as I remember,
I feel quite distanced - not quite here [no more than usual folks] - I am "content" to 

be by myself - lost in thoughts allowing them to wash over/though me - observing - 
not holding - just doing what feels right for me - I know I don't want to have folks 
trying to take my mind of it, Bless 'em for their kindness and thoughts - but my mind wants/needs to see it through, it is not healthy to try and avoid this process.......
This past year seems to have flown by and I am not sure what I have done or 
achieved - on reflection much of it is a blur - what will this new one bring??

Hey I forgot to mention that Anne who stayed a couple of weeks ago was a massage therapist to Lorna - small world and quite a bizarre connection in the greater scheme 
of things

Hahaha should see the walking wounded, Leigh is still hobbling with her back and Keith 
fell out of a tree and has broken his elbow joint and they are moving house, some folks don't like to make life easy LOL

These quiet days mean I get a lot more crochet done and have now completed a new 
Joseph Jacket, a snuggly red "christmas" shrug and a joseph jacket for a toddler, 
yes I know photos would be good, but I am still waiting for pics others have taken to
be sent to me, so have given up asking others to help on that score - oh I know they 
meant well and are full of good intentions, but life takes over and it gets forgotten.......

A bit of star gazing
and we're now in the heart of the storm indicated by 
 Saturn opposition Uranus. Just remember that we 
also have the Sun with Mercury retrograde in late 
Virgo offering their influences as well. This makes 
for a very complex gestalt, one of high tension, but
also great for illumination through seeing and 
understanding things from many different angle
of vision. All of September into early October will 
be under this tension. Many polarizations will become
evident.[mmmmm have noticed some of them xx]
  Many oppositional situations will manifest. It's a 
major face-off between the visible and invisible 
Law and Order, both higher and lower.This is an 

opposition between structure and revolution, a
lower law versus Higher Law, fear facing freedom,
or tradition, resistance and/or fear confronting genius.
It is experience patiently blocking willful folly, studied
reserve facing impetuousness, understanding countering
lawlessness. There are ten thousand more ways this can
express, so use your understanding of what Saturn and 
Uranus symbolize to see how it may be happening in
your world.
For Del

Thursday and Friday were the hardest days - not sure how the 29th will feel when the time comes, but thus far it was the memories of the Thursday and Friday of last year which brought up much emotion, I am aware of how this has had to be done alone, Laura in Bulgaria, J in Ireland and all those other special beings in my life are doing their own thing in their own places - Friday was the worst as that was when D went into intensive and I remember how affected I was - I guess looking back he died then really, last year I was ever hopeful he would pull through, this year I know different........

As I've written in other articles, during a Mercury retrogradeperiod we all know we're NOT supposed to sign contracts, make purchasesof electronics, make major moves or decisions, and are supposed to hangout with the energies, seeing that things may not be as they appear,and so on. That said, there are many things that a Mercury retrogradeperiod is good for, such as traveling. I have found that as long as oneis flexible, retrograde travel is actually a good thing.

Also favored are research, reflection, review, rehearsals, andreturns from the past. It's also a great time for reconnecting with oldfriends, finding people and things thought lost, It's a great time toexplore possibilities, as long as no definitive decisions are made,since they are usually modified or reversed later on.

It's a good time for doing things left undone, or neglected, fromprevious times. It's good for resuming something from the past, as longas you remember that it may not look like it used to, or requires adifferent approach than before. It's also good for doing things thatfill in gaps in understanding or activity, or for doing things thatseem to go in one direction but lead you to entirely new informationand understanding.

It's a good time for resuming things begun in previous retrogradeperiods, or for picking up threads that had to be set aside while otherthings developed. It usually indicates a time when you need to be ableto build in a time lag with whatever you're doing, since retrogradesoften show that there are things yet to develop that will ultimatelyfill in whatever is missing in the present.

Monday was Peace day, yesterday was the equinox {Venus rules the Sun at the Autumnal Equinox. At 3 Virgo, we see there will be some heavy "guardian angel" action this Autumn, as well as inner powers coming forth. Venus semisquare Mars indicates emergent interpersonal friction, as neither is in a sign it does well in. Both are in the signs of their "Fall," showing least growth potential. Stay focused and don't get deflected by distractions. I can't really go into much more detail, as it's just too much information.Overall, the next 3 months are a time of continued polarizations unveiling hidden things that can lead to cathartic experiences where we can purify our personalities so our Higher Self can again shine forth. It's a time to learn, to discipline our mind and speech, and finish up our training preparing to do a larger spiritual work in our world. Many will reveal unsuspected powers latent within, and appreciation will go a long way in unlocking creative potentials as well as the ability to maintain what is good in our inner life.Autumn symbolizes the harvest, where we move into expanded relationships and social interactions. We can find new ideals, new sense of proportion, and new perspective offering a more balanced way of seeing, relating, or doing. The Moon puts a focus on our ability to transmute the lesser into the greater, the animal into the (super)natural. Be alert to people and situations where there is "undisciplined escapism" or distorted attitudes.} - I am counting my blessings and giving thanks - after last week's storms the weather has changed back - the sun is beaming down on us once again, the car got a great natural wash last week!! Leigh n Keith arrived back last night, so I guess Barbara dog will be leaving today, she has been a good soul and I have enjoyed our early morning walks/meditations, as the sun rises over the mountain, the bats are "radaring" their way home before the birds start their rallying calls to herald a new day, now is the time when the mist lies in the valleys giving a fantastical quality to the views. No clouds on the horizon - well maybe one little one LOL after a year endessa have finally done the rounds and read the meter, ooo er - ah well just another exercise in not worrying/thinking the worst/going into mad panic. Also despite my efforts to secure birth certs I find I can't order mine as they don't take visa, so a wee job for Lau when she returns from hols and I am still awaiting response about Del's and so still I cannot move forward with legalities, sometimes it feels like I am shackled to the spot....

Thanks to everyone who has sent me messages, I do appreciate them and I will be in touch properly very soon.....none of you are forgotten xxxxx

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