22,391,841 members doing good!
share your passions, stories, inspirations, and more
Apr 4, 2007

This article is bloody scary, but i had to share it with you because it made me laugh to tears!!

Damn, this girl is so far out... that's freaky scary, but well, i guess she loves her kid... If she was in some way interested in health though, she would be a big mouth to make her voice hear! Maybe we could introduce her to the raw vegan lifestyle
Anyway, enjoy the reading



Ain't Nobody Telling Me What My Baby Allergic To

March 28, 2007 | Issue 43•13
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/60018

So yesterday some bitch nurse at the clinic was wasting my time trying to tell me my baby Liondrae all allergic to penicillin or some shit. I don't know what kind of made-up bullshit that is. She probably, like, said it just to come off all important.

Besides, who asked her to tell me what 'Drae allergic to anyway? I only brought him to the clinic 'cause that cut on his arm he got trying to climb the chain-link fence behind our apartment got all nasty and green and shit. They jabbed his arm up with penicillin to clear it up, but next morning, he got all swollen and looked funny, so I had to bring him back in, and that's when the nurse say he must be allergic. Now he have to be given special antibiotics twice a day, like I got time to fuck around with medicine.

And then they tried to blame me for the penicillin shit, like I should've known he'd have a bad reaction to it. Well, I ain't allergic to penicillin, so I know he didn't get that shit from me. Plus, if he was allergic to something for real he would have told me about it. He probably reacted crazy like that because they poked him up with all those needles, not 'cause of no antibiotic nobody asked them to squirt up in him in the first place.

People think they can teach me shit about 'Drae I don't know. They think I sit around all day and don't lift a finger. They go on about how he needs to be toilet-trained before he goes to kindergarten, but they don't give a shit that I know his favorite food is Gummi Bears, and that he loves Sean John. He also has this wooden spoon he calls Ugga that he bites on all the time, which I know is a little fucked-up but I let him do it 'cause it's important to let kids be kids.

I'm a good mom. I don't see anyone else watching that baby all damn day long and buying him Arby's.

'Cept for sometimes his older sister Rywanda watch him. She eight now and she needs some fucking responsibility if she's not going to go to school. I told her how the people from the school get on my ass when she don't go, but she can't stand second grade. I'm like, damn, I didn't start cutting class until fifth grade. I thought she'd at least get through elementary, but I can't make her do shit she don't want to do. She just like me. But if she ain't going to school no more, Rywanda's gotta stay home and watch 'Drae.

That boy better get over this shit soon, because ain't no way I'm going back to that clinic again. It took my ass near three hours to get there 'cause I have to transfer buses twice. Shit always happen when I take the kids on the bus, like that one time 'Drae got lost at the station and ended up on Channel 7, and that bitch Debra practically lived at my house for a week. If she want me to go back to that bullshit clinic, she can start giving me money for cab fare. I don't see her taking no three goddamn buses to get to her job.

It's not like I don't got enough other things to do beside drag my ass all the hell the way out there. Those clinic people are real assholes, making me get 'Drae shots for some rubella crap he ain't even got. Even with all that vaccination shit 'Drae keep getting sick anyway. If they had a vaccination against crazy-ass temper tantrums that come out of nowhere, then I'd be down with that.

These doctors think they can be the boss of you, like they know everything, but I know they are always trying to take money for stuff that just clear up on its own.

Like everybody say Rywanda had strep or some shit two months ago. But she's a strong-ass bitch like her mom, and she fought that shit off in three weeks. Never even saw a doctor. 'Drae strong, too. All that medicine and vaccination stuff just makes kids cry all the damn time. I ain't raising no weak-ass baby who's gotta live in a bubble. I saw a show about kids who are allergic to like sunlight or air or something, and their parents can't hug them or nothing because they'd, like, die. That ain't happening to 'Drae, 'cause I love my baby. Plus I'm not covering everything in my house with plastic bullshit.

'Drae'll turn like four or something soon, and he's got to learn to stay away from stuff that makes him allergic, especially if I get that night manager job at the BP. It's like, cats make my eyes all watery, so I stay the fuck away from them. I don't want to find out he got sick playing with a big-ass jar of penicillin 'cause he never learned it'll hurt him. But 'Drae smart. He'll figure it out eventually, just like he did the clothes dryer.

Visibility: Everyone
Tags: , , , , , , , ,
Posted: Apr 4, 2007 10:15am

 

 
 
Content and comments expressed here are the opinions of Care2 users and not necessarily that of Care2.com or its affiliates.

Author

pElAgUS hellot
female , single
Tamarindo, Costa Rica
Shares by Type:
All (1001) | Blog (255) | Alert (445) | Poll (4) | Recipe (12) | Photo (11) | Tribute (59) | Message (215)

Showing shares tagged with: nobody [show all]
SHARES FROM PELAGUS'S NETWORK
May
18
(0 comments  |  discussions )
The sun in the North is a temporary guestWho brings with him much warmth and light when he comesFor a few precious months every year he keepsUs company through night and day He makes the trees green, he makes flowers bloomHe makes the birds sing, and ...
May
14
(0 comments  |  discussions )
Ashley is our middle cat and only female.At 11:48 a.m. Thursday, 9 May 2013 in a valiant battle against agressive lung cancer, Ashley died at home.
May
9
(0 comments  |  discussions )
The largest genocide in human history happened where? Most people would answer Germany, and the Jewish Holocaust. Actually though, the largest genocide happened in the USA, with the native American Indians, with estimates of 19 million to 100 millio...
May
8
(0 comments  |  discussions )
(0 comments  |  discussions )
Official Nuclear Radiation Study; Tokyo University Hayno, R.S., et al (2013) Internal Radiocesium Contamination of Adults and Children 7 to 20 Months After the Fukushima NPP Accident as Measured by Extensive Whole-Body-Counter Surveys, Proc. Jpn....
May
6
(0 comments  |  discussions )
Toxic radiation accumulates in water supplies after nuclear accidents. Radiation bioconcentrates in fish that live in fresh water and salt water. Runoff of fresh water from land which has been contaminated ends up contaminating oceans, and salt wate...
(0 comments  |  discussions )
66 Atomic Bombs were exploded on the Bikini Island Atolls. Hundreds of islanders were removed from the islands, but not from harms way. One hydrogen bomb exploded near the islands, and the children played with the dust from the bomb, as it fel...
May
5
(0 comments  |  discussions )
"Under our current law, a suspected terrorist on the FBI's No-Fly List can't board an airplane -- but they can still legally purchase guns and explosives. This loophole, known as the “Terror Gap,” is ...
(0 comments  |  discussions )
Germany added more solar panels in one month, than the US did in ONE YEAR. Nearly 1/3 of Germany power output is handled by bottoms up solar energy during the middle of the day. The transition to a 100% renewable energy nation is in process. T...
(0 comments  |  0 discussions )
http://www.upworthy.com/ /the-top-8-ways-to-be-tra ditionally-married-accord ing-to-the-bible?c=upw1 According to the Old Testament, which defines all of the 'rules' of traditional marriage, the above examples are all of the ways that couples can be ...

Copyright © 2013 Care2.com, inc. and its licensors. All rights reserved