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Oct 29, 2010

Dear Reader, because at the English language there is a difference between she and he, for the purpose of writing this thing, I will use 'he' as the abuser, and 'she' as the victim. That doesn't mean that the 'he' is always the abuser, and 'she' is always the victim. The suggested law supposes that both women/men can be a victim or abuser.
                                                            

Dear Reader, allow me to tell you, that I got Hollii Kenley's permission to use her model, in order to explain better the stages of Domestic Economic Abuse.

Another thing that I need to remark at that part of this post is: that at the case of domestic economic abuse at the rich families, without accepting the law that we are promoting here, there isn't any chance that a victim from a high income family will stay alive.

At that stage I need to remark another thing also. Our organization 'Maka Mezalzelet' started to work at 2006. From the beginning, till now, we are working and living from donations.

We keep contact with each other by email, phone and personal meetings. Most victims uses the phone, email of their friends. Our personal meetings takes place in public parks, and at the offices of given organizations who are kind to us and give us a place to meet.

----

As I see it, at the first, that is at the 'Stage of the outrageous thrift', the victim starts to be 'confused'. But it is very hard for her to explain where this 'confusion' feeling comes from. The victim feels that something wrong, but she can not explain to herself what is wrong.
After all, at our world, 'family finance' is something that based on the understanding the function of 'sharing' the whole family income among the spouses.

I couldn't find any literature that talks about 'dinining proper sharing'. In the real world, that stage is actually the start of financial abuse.

At the second, that is at the 'Stage of extreme stinginess', the victim starts to have that 'worthlessness' feeling, that comes from several places. First, she just don't understand why the f'amily has to live under hard economic situation, when the 'real economic situation' of the family doesn't requere that. But she has no idea how to resolve that problem. From some reason, her own income 'stoppes' or almost stoppes. And even if it doesn't stop, it goes to the 'family savings' that in reality she has not have much 'knowledge' about it.

At the third, that is at the 'Stage of economic terror',  the victim starts to have 'the powerlessness' feeling, becase several things. First, she starts to understand why her family, especially she herself, lives under hard economic situation, when the 'real economic situation' of the family doesn't requere that. She understand her 'economic situation', but she has no idea how to resolve that problem. From some reason, her own income generally 'stoppes'. She also has to learn that her husband took an outragous 'loan' on one of his 'personal bank account' without her knowledge, and consent.
 
She also learns, that eventually she will be the person, probably, that will have to pay that loan back. Of course, just in case when she succedes to stay alive after so many years of domestic economic abuse. And just in case when she finds places that will give her borrow a huge sum, in order to pay back this husge loan.





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Posted: Oct 29, 2010 6:26pm
Oct 29, 2010

Dear Reader, because at the English language there is a difference between she and he, for the purpose of writing this thing, I will use 'he' as the abuser, and 'she' as the victim. That doesn't mean that the 'he' is always the abuser, and 'she' is always the victim. The suggested law supposes that both women/men can be a victim or abuser.
                                                            

At this post I am interested to talk about Holli Kenley's model. I got her permission to use her material.

I am talking about the model of Holli Kenley that you can find in her book:
Holli Kenley:Breaking Through Betrayal: And Recovering the Peace Within, Loving Healing Press, Inc., 2009

According to Holli Kenley's model, at a given point a victim "recognizes the states of her being that she is going through her marriege", namely : she finally understands the stages of abuse she went throught her marriege.

At the beginning of her marriege, there was the stage of the confusion. At the later stage of her marriege the wife starts to feel that feeling of worthlessness. Then finally the abused wife arrived at the abusive stage where she has that feeling of powerlessness.

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Posted: Oct 29, 2010 6:08pm
Oct 29, 2010

Dear Reader, because at the English language there is a difference between she and he, for the purpose of writing this thing, I will use 'he' as the abuser, and 'she' as the victim. That doesn't mean that the 'he' is always the abuser, and 'she' is always the victim. The suggested law supposes that both women/men can be a victim or abuser.
                                                            

What is domestic economic abuse between spouses?

First, we have to know, that the phenomenon of the domestic economic abuse, in its short form called: DEA, between spouses is a real act of violence, and it has all the characteristics of violence.

A husband who abuses his wife by DEA, he does it from the beginning of the marriage. He takes control on every mutual asset including all economic resources of his spouse. The total economic authority of the family concentrates only in his hand. He becomes the ruler and his wife the victim. The ruler blocks every access to all mutual assets including all economic resource of his wife, the victim.

In that way, the ruler denies from the victim to exercise her economic ability, freedom of action, freedom of movement and the basic right to live her life respectfully. According to the basic law of personal freedom she would have been entitled to live a respectull life.

DEA, has several stages. During most stages of the DEA the ruler's spouse lives under the false impression that her mate enables her equal usage of the mutual asset, including her personal income. The misinterpretation results from the fact that the ruler by different manipulations brings his wife to a situation where she needs to ask him for all of her personal and family expenses. He gives her a given sum that he thinks that she needs. 

Ruling the family assets by the husband alone, takes place during all the marriage.

Dear Reader, please allow me to emphesize that there is a difference between the type of DEA that victims go trhough at the rich families and at the poor families.

According what I found by interviwing hundreds of vitims, both at the rich and poor families, DEA contains three stages. At the beginning we can find the "Stage of the outrageous thrift, [savings]". Then comes the "Stage of extreme stinginess" then finally arrives the stage of "Stage of economic terror".

It is important to notice that at the rich families at the final stage, at the "Stage of Economic Terror" there is a great possibility that the abuser will take out a huge loan at the moment that the abuser feels  that his victim found out that she is going through DEA. At that case  the victim has to stop working. The reason for that is, according what I found, that the abuser every minute can 'put on his victim' a 'huge loan' that he himself gets out, without the knowledge of his spouse. So in order to help those women who are suffering just from DEA we need also detectives who are expert on finding places where the money went and lawyers who are expert to get back the money that belong to the family and thus to the wife also. The detectives and the lawyers have to have licence to work in many countries in the world. And we do not have money to hire these people. 

Dear Reader allow me to go back to the stages of DEA.

During the first two stages of DEA the victim has no idea that she is being a victim.

At the first stage of DEA at stage of "The outrageous thrift, [savings]", the husband fulfils a rather large part of the financial requests of his partner. 

At the second stage of DEA, at stage of "extreme stinginess", the husband starts to fulfill a much smaller part of the financial requests of the woman, as he did in the previous stage. 

The spouse’s financial requests are rarely fulfilled by her husband at the third stage, at stage, which is the "economic terror", that is a real chronic stage.  Living under terrible economic condition, living a life style of a ‘homeless’ person, the spouse starts to suspect, that something is really wrong. By starting to check the bank accounts she learns that she has nothing. She learns that all the assets, savings and investments of her and her family vanished. They all vanished, supposedly into her husband ‘individual personal bank account’,  that recides all over the world.  At this point she realizes that she has no economic authority in the family.

We are persons who are going through only DEA. And we are those persons who are from the high middle and from the high income families'. I am aware that that very few people believe us. We already succeeded to get help for the women from the low income families.

Just as it was the situation 200 years ago, with the women’s assets. At that time, the women had no rights to any economical assets. The economical assets belonged to the father or the brother or to the husband. At the 21st century, millions of women all over the world live under the circumstances that similar to the circumstances that their sisters lived 200 years ago. 


At the stage of economic terror, the husband changes his behavior toward to his wife. From a caring, supporting, sympathetic, man he becomes an uncompassionate, merciless enemy.  The wife capitulates to this terrible situation because she finally understands the situation she lives.

At this point it is important to point out again the following thing:

At our goup page that resides at:

http://www.care2.com/c2c/group/domesticeconomicabuse

you kind reader can see that we write at the introduction section:

"We already succeeded to get help for the women from the low income families."

What the previous sentence means is that those persons who are come from a low income family and abused just by DEA, as the results of the activity of our organization "Maka Mezalzelet" from the year of 2008 they already get monthly help from appropriate organizations.

That meains that at the stage of economic terror, when the husband changes his behavior toward to his wife, and from a caring, supporting, sympathetic, man he becomes an uncompassionate, merciless enemy, women from the low income families from the year 2008 get monthly help from appropriate organizations.

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Posted: Oct 29, 2010 4:52pm
Oct 22, 2010

In order to understand what I am going to write, first you need to understand one of the ways Google gets money for its work.

One of the ways, Google gets money for its work is selling things that Google finds on the web. Yes, it is totally legal for Google to do that.

Google finds something on the Web, and then "He" sells it, as if it is was "his" own possession.

Example you can see on what Google calls "knowldge system":

http://scholar.google.co.il/scholar?q=koty+lapid&hl=en&btnG=Search&as_sdt=2001&as_sdtp=on

How Google does it? He simply sells "digitally" your work. And if you do not have a very clever atterney who can fight for your rights, Google continues to sell your work as if it was "His" work!

From what I foud out by surfing the web, that many writers and artists who live at the USA hired attorneys at the year of about 2009. As far as I understood these artists started to get share from what Google earns.

I do not live at the USA, but I do publish my things all over the world. Thus Google 'collects' the money that he earns by selling my works all over the world.

I do not have money to hire an attorney who can fight for my right.

So Google, who already live very comfortable from what they do, continue to sell my works and getting the money for it. At the same time, I mostly live on donation!

If anybody, who works at Google, and read this 'share', and would like to talk to me, I'll be very happy to talk to him/her. All my data can be found here at Care2.

Other ways to get my works without paying for me you can learn from the on-line video at:

 http://fora.tv/2009/12/06/Brewster_Kahle_Universal_Access_to_All_Knowledge

You can learn from this on-line video that you can go and print out my works in many libraries in the USA by paying about 10 cents for a page to the library. Nobody has to pay for me.

If anybody, who works at these libraries, and read this 'share', and would like to talk to me, I'll be very happy to talk to him/her. All my data can be found here at Care2.

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Posted: Oct 22, 2010 11:41pm
Oct 22, 2010
I am a person who has a PhD in economics! And I am also the same person who in the USA, European Union, Japan and in Israel helped to establish the High-Tech industry.

Now, that I arrived at my old age, mostly live by getting donation.

And that doesn't bother my husband at all. He can do whatever he wants. There isn't yet a law against domestic economic abuse.

And yes, my husband is a clever man, he doesn't abuse me in any way that people can get punishment. Till today, there isn't any law that punish people just for domestic economic abuse.
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Posted: Oct 22, 2010 10:54pm
Oct 22, 2010
I am a person who has a PhD in economics! And I am also the same person who in the USA, European Union, Japan and in Israel helped to establish the High-Tech industry.


Now, that I arrived at my old age, mostly live by getting donation.


And that doesn't bother my husband at all. He can do whatever he wants. There isn't yet a law against domestic economic abuse. And yes, my husband is a clever man, he doesn't abuse me in any way that people can get punishment. Till today, there isn't any law that punish people just for domestic economic abuse.

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Posted: Oct 22, 2010 10:48pm
Oct 22, 2010

Domestic economic abuse, exists all over the world.


Israel is a contry where at the Parlament, by the hebrew name the Knesset, there are two types of law that have been accepted: the religious law and the secular law. In Israel, there isn't a clear differentiation between religious law and secular law!

Now, because of the above thing, there are officially two type of 'courts' also. The religious courts and the secular courts. The religious courts, besides working with the secular law, they work with religious law also, that 'do not help to the women'. On the contrary, works against the women! At the Knesset you can find members who has been elected by Israely citizens, thus there are parlament members from all of the religions.

Thus if the law will be accepted it will be used by all 'types' of courts. By the secular courts and by the religious cours. Here we are talking about all the religions that have official courts in Israel.

At the following rows I am going to publish some of the results of a survey that has been made by "Dachaf" Research Institute, that the manager of it Dr Mina Tzemach. This survey has been made at 8 December 2008 for the Organization "Maka Mezalzelet "


The basic questions were formulated by Natasha Aubulsky and Dr. Koty Lapid [October 2008]
The questions of the basic questions based on the "Framework for domestic economic abuse. "  Working Paper, by Dr. Koty Lapid, May 2008

The interviews were conducted on 8 December 2008.
At the time the survey took place there have been 2.23 million women over the age 18 lived in Israel.

From this survey we can see clearly the existence of phenomenon of domestic economic abuse.
Among the conclusions of this survey we can find:

6% of the persons who have been asked do not spend money on their personal needs at all. As we see it, 6 % of these women can represent a population that is going through domestic economic abuse. It can be also that these women do not spend money on their personal needs because of their personal habit or existence of shortage of money supply for the family of the person who has been asked this question.

9% of the persons who has been asked answered that they do spend money from time to time.

We learned, that they receive the money for their needs from their spouse or from their parents.
We suppose that we got this results because these women are totally dependent on their mate or on their parents for their personal expenses.

46% of the persons who have been asked do not have money for unexpected expenses. This part of the polulation indicates the existence of domestic economic abuse. Meaning, the woman and children in a crisis time may be at risk, with no possibility for minimal protection.


19% of the persons who have been asked told that they get money for unexpected expenses from their spouse. This result can indicate that 19% of women can still count on their spouse for unexpected expenses! This could indicate also a situation of domestic economic violence - when the spouse has created a situation of dependency for money. The result also can indicate that these women do not handle all their own financial problems.


6% of the women that have been asked answered that their spouse is the only person who makes  the economic decision for the family. For us this is one the of important question in this survey!  For us, this answer indicates that in a situation when the spouse is the only person who makes the family decision their is a warning sign that may indicate domestic economic abuse. 

68 percent of the women have been surveyed, have no savings or investments of their own. That can indicate to a situation where the women and children in crisis may be at risk and for no option for minimal protection.

According to the result of this survey we can say that 4% of the women who have been asked know cirtainly that there are assets that exist in their family, that are registered in the name of the husband only. For us that means that is about 4% of the women have no part in the family asset, that is owned by their spouse.

Also you can find an entry on Wikipedia in Hebrew 'about domestic economic abuse'. The address of the entry is:

 http://he.wikipedia.org/wiki/%D7%90%D7%9C%D7%99%D7%9E%D7%95%D7%AA_%D7%9B%D7%9C%D7%9B%D7%9C%D7%99%D7%AA_%D7%91%D7%9E%D7%A9%D7%A4%D7%97%D7%94

Thus our organization "Maka Mezalzelet" worked together with PM Orit Zuaretz, to device a secular law, that help victims of domestic economic abuse. Now, that law is at the Knesset, and we, the organization "Maka Mezalzelet" promote it's acceptance.

 

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Posted: Oct 22, 2010 10:38pm
Oct 22, 2010
http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/domestic-economic-abuse/

Please consider voting for the acceptance of the suggested law, that will allow for the victims of Domestic Economic Abuse regain their economic freedom.

Domestic Economic Abuse is present when an abuser has control over a victim's all economic resources.

Once again - the voting page is here:

http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/domestic-economic-abuse/

Thank you for understanding our case. We appreciate it. And thank you also for considering helping us, the victims.
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Posted: Oct 22, 2010 7:37pm
Oct 22, 2010

On wikipedia already there is an entry about 'domestic violence', that resides here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domestic_violence

The authors treat poorly at the topic of 'domestic economic abuse' , and according to my opinion there is a need for making on wikipedia a separate entry, that deals only with 'domestic economic abuse'.

You see that the above entry there is a section that says:

"Economic abuse is when the abuser has control over the victim's money and other economic resources. In its extreme form, this involves putting the victim on a strict "allowance", withholding money at will and forcing the victim to beg for the money until the abuser gives them some money. It is common for the victim to receive less money as the abuse continues. [76]

At above article there is a sentence that says "Once victims leave their perpetrator, they can be stunned with the reality of the extent to which the abuse has taken away their autonomy. Due to economic abuse and isolation, the victim usually has very little money of their own and few people on whom they can rely when seeking help." [57] 

[57] a b "Stop Violence Against Women". 2010. Retrieved April 24, 2010.
[76] is : # ^ "Economic Abuse." BSAFE. Sept. 6, 2009.

Thank you for reading this section.

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Posted: Oct 22, 2010 5:13am
Oct 22, 2010

 

http://www.uncfsp.org/projects/userfiles/File/DCE-STOP_NOW/NCADV_Economic_Abuse_Fact_Sheet.pdf

At the above fact sheet you can see many relavant questions that has to do with “domestic economic abuse” at the USA.

I’ll be very happy to hear your remarks and questions that has to do with the above file.

Have a wonderful day. Koty

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Posted: Oct 22, 2010 5:08am

 

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Koty Lapid
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