Heart meditation helps you with your ability to love and also your ability to let things go, both of which are very important in everyday life when dealing with other people, whether its loved ones or just acquaintances. Your ability to love effects your relationships on many levels, the ability to let go is also very important as resentment and anger can build up to dangerous levels if left unchecked.

Heart meditation helps on both of these matters by activating two important chakras, the heart chakra and the navel chakra. The heart chakra is in the heart centre which is located between the breast and slightly to the left. The navel chakra is located about 2 to 3 inches below your navel.

To practice the heart meditation firstly take your usual meditating position (heart meditation is not dependent on position and can be practiced in any), my favorite is to sit on a meditation cushion cross legged, with my knees touching the floor and my back straight.

Heart meditation is aligned with your breathing so you might want to take a minute to relax and take a few deep breaths. When you are comfortable, breathe in and imagine the breath going into your heart center.

The third stage of heart meditation is when you breathe in you imagine you breathe in from your navel chakra to your heart center.
Stage two is then repeated with an inner feeling of letting go.
Stage three is repeated again, as you imagine that you breathe in from your navel to your heart center.
The process is repeated between stage 2 and stage 3 until your meditation is over.

To begin meditation, select a quiet time and place. Be seated on a cushion or chair, taking an erect yet relaxed posture. Let yourself sit upright with the quiet dignity of a king or queen. Close your eyes gently and being by bringing a full, present attention to whatever you feel within you and around you. Let your mind be spacious and your heart be kind and soft.

As you sit, feel the sensations of your body. Then notice what sounds and feelings, thoughts and expectations are present. Allow them all to come and go, to rise and fall like the waves of the ocean. Be aware of the waves and rest seated in the midst of them. Allow yourself to become more and more still.

In the center of all these waves, feel your breathing, your life-breath. Let your attention feel the in-and-out breathing wherever you notice it, as coolness or tingling in the nose or throat, as a rising and falling of your chest or abdomen. Relax and softly rest your attention on each breath, feeling the movement in a steady, easy way. Let the breath breathe itself in any rhythm, long or short, soft or deep. As you feel each breath, concentrate and settle into its movement. Let all other sounds and sensations, thoughts and feelings continue to come and go like waves in the back ground.

After a few breaths, your attention may be carried away by one of the waves of thoughts or memories, by body sensations or sounds. Whenever you notice you have been carried away for a time, acknowledge the wave that has done so by softly giving it a name such as "planning," "remembering," "itching," "restless." Then let it pass and gently return to the breath. Some waves will take a long time to pass, others will be short. Certain thoughts or feelings will be painful, others will be pleasurable. Whatever they are, let them be.

At some sittings you will be able to return to your breath easily. At other times in your meditation you will be mostly aware of body sensation or of plans or thoughts. Either way is fine. No matter what you experience, be aware of it, let it come and go, and rest at ease in the midst of it all. After you have sat for twenty or thirty minutes in this way, open your eyes and look around you before you get up. Then as you move try to allow the same spirit of awareness to go with you into the activities of your day.

The art of meditation is simple but not always easy. It thrives on practice and a kind and spacious heart. If you do this simple practice of sitting with awareness every day, you will gradually grow in centeredness and understanding.

STOP FOR A FEW MOMENTS. Sit quietly, with a straight back and gently close your eyes. Feeling the rhythm of the breath as it enters and leaves the body, allow yourself to let go of past and future, and come into the present moment; being with exactly what is – now.

Bring your attention to the feeling of the body, accepting it just the way it is – with kindness. Allow yourself to accept all the sensations and feelings of the body completely.

Breathe in deeply, with a sense of trust and well-being: breathe out, letting go of tension, allowing any tightness to dissolve.

Then, focus on the normal breathing; just the feeling of breathing in, breathing out.

Imagine yourself surrounded by light – perhaps a golden-coloured light if you like gold. Being with the sensation of the body breathing in, breathing out, draw the light into the body as you breathe – maybe through the nostrils, the heart or the head. Imagine light saturating the body, through every pore.

Think to yourself: ‘May this being be well,’ and turn the calming effect of the meditation towards this being: ‘May this being be calm.’ Suffuse your whole body with this calm and kindly attention.

Then, let your awareness explore the body: moving around the head and face, gradually down the neck, the back and the chest, spreading right down the finger-tips; then down the legs, to each toe; drawing on the good energy of the breath, expanding and embracing the heart.

Focusing more on the out-breath, let go of the memories, the grudges, the grievances; let it all go. Begin again with each breath.

Picture yourself in your mind’s eye as you are now. Make peace with this view of yourself, through forgiveness, compassion, gentleness. ‘May this being be well.’ Suffuse this picture with gentle, warm light from the heart, then let it go.

Next, picture your parents, let them into your mind. Make peace with their image: ‘May you be well,’ bathing them with soft light, with gratitude.

Observe thoughts arising. Memories of yourself as a child, perhaps something painful or something you have never made peace with. Let it be in the mind, in the light.

Then bring up an image of your daily situation, at home or wherever, with the people it involves. People you like or dislike, feel conflict with, love, fear or worry for. ‘May these beings be well.’ Put aside aversion, fear, worry, guilt; at this moment, allow yourself to be kind.

Think of someone you know who is having a difficult time; send these feelings of kindness towards them. Breathe in light, breathe out wishing them well.

Gradually open up more and more, from the people you see every day to nobody special; and even those for whom you have hardly a memory. Recognise them as human beings with ambitions, hopes, problems, anxieties, joy – just like you! Give them some life in your perceptions.

And, even more remote, acknowledge all the people you can conceive of in this world. This may be a faint feeling, but open up the heart to allow them into consciousness, to be felt. See what the mind does, how it reacts indignantly about some people – such as political figures. Let go of that indignation for this moment. Allow a sense of peace to envelop all beings: the liked, the disliked, familiar and unfamiliar.

And then imagine the planet Earth as seen from space. Extend this sense of peace to the planet we live on, embracing it with your heart, surrounding it with light.

Turning your attention to that sense of peace and light allow it to expand outwards, without limit, letting the sense of ‘me’ and ‘the world’ dissolve in the stillness of the present. Then turn your attention back in towards itself; upon the feeling of knowing ‘the screen of the mind’, the place where images arise. Let it be quite empty or full, choiceless, being illuminated by the soft light from the heart, light from the breath; warm, gentle; beginning, letting go, patient kindness.

Gently come back to the rhythm of the breath, and when you are ready, slowly open your eyes.

Tuning into nature has all the usual benefits of meditation and helps you connect with your surroundings. For even greater benefit, you can intentionally take in and run the quantum energy in your surroundings, releasing blocks to your health, emotional and spiritual well being. My articles on "grounding" and "running your energies" cover specific meditations for moving quantum energy. This "tree meditation" is a simpler exercise for obtaining some of those same benefits.
If you have the chance, you can do this exercise in a park, woods or at the side of a hiking trail. Otherwise, it works fine in a comfortable chair at home, using your imagination to visualize the serene outdoor surroundings.

Imagine a small creek, at the edge of a woods. You're on a tree stump, sitting comfortably, listening to the creek and birds. The sun is on your face, warming and relaxing you.
As you listen, you feel more a part of the natural scene, as you become almost a part of the stump. You can feel the energy of the tree that was once there. Your body feels connected, as if you've replaced the tree. Any tension and negative emotions sinks from your body, down through the trunk and into a very deep root extending towards the center of the Earth.
Your feet and legs feel connected to the ground, and energy runs up through your feet, like the shallower roots that fed the tree.
Golden sunlight, and the energy of the air, soak and pour in through your head, the way a tree absorbs sun through its leaves. Your arms and body are warmed by this light, like the branches of the tree.
Feel the energy from the earth and the sky filling and moving through your body, rejuvenating and releasing blocks along the way. Any excess energy continues down through the stump and down the deep root where it's released into the ground.
Relax, and let the energy of the sky and earth continue to run.
When you feel ready, take a few deep breaths and stretch, making your separation from the tree. As you get up, you will take some of this new energy with you, feeling more invigorated.

Say the word, “love” quietly to yourself right now, a couple of times, listen to the resonance of it, and wonder about what it means. The word love is one of the sweetest sounds in the language. Listen to how soft it is, soft as a glove.

Depending on how you’re feeling at the moment, you may be a bit defensive when you think about love, or you may embrace the opportunity to enjoy yourself. Accept whatever mood you’re in as part of the experience, and experiment with these questions:

When have you known love in your life?

When you think of what love is, whom have you loved?

In your current life, who is it you love the most intensely?

Remember some specific times when you have felt love. It could with another person, a pet, a wild animal, or some aspect of nature such as the ocean or sky, a tree.
Being with that dog, that sunrise, that grandparent, that child.

Listening to that particular piece of music, watching that wave.

Being awakened by the touch of your mate. Seeing a baby. Meeting a friend who has been away for a long time. Singing your heart out. Making love, holding, being held by your lover.

It could be a sense of well being as you gaze at a sunset. Or standing in a forest, feeling the presence of the trees, loving them. Receiving the warmth and radiance of the sun on your face as a loving touch.

Seeing horses running free and loving their noble spirit. Loving the sound of the stream flowing over the rocks. Reveling in water when you are thirsty and drink a glass. Or the way you cherish a breath of air when you step outside on a glorious day.
Have you experienced loving unconditionally? Being loved unconditionally? When have you felt, “I love everyone”? When have you felt yourself being loved, by a person, by God, by nature?

Let your heart bathe in this experience now.

Different faces might come, different sensations in your body, many different emotions. Everyone and everything you have ever loved, and everyone who has ever loved you, flowing through your awareness.

As you recall these times, how does your body change? How does your breathing change? What clues you in to this feeling we call love?

Now dwell, for several minutes, with all these impressions. Savor the way your breathing feels as you invite love into your body again.

Love wants to permeate you everywhere. Let it. As you remember the state of love, let the feeling flood into all the dark areas of your being, everything you are ashamed of. Let it flood into your best, most presentable, virtuous places. Soak it up, through and through, into your heart and belly, into every secret place.

Sitting there, or lying there, love your skin. Love your bones, and love the Earth attracting you in to the center. Love the air around you, the space around you, the light in the air. Let your love expand of its own accord in all directions, out from your heart to the front, rear, sides, down, up.

Every day, spend some time breathing with the experience of love. Think of anyone or anything you love, and simply be with the sensations and emotions, feel it all. Build the love back into your body and soul.

Every moment of love you’ve ever experienced still exists in your being, resonating now like a hum in your cells. This is more than an image, more than a memory; it is a living current that grows stronger with awareness. When you feel the movement of love flowing through you this way, you are tuning in to your personal body of love.


THE TENDERNESS OF NATURAL FORCES

Love is a tangible phenomenon, not just a romantic ideal. It is a sensory experience that can be cultivated, and that we can learn to dwell in.

Every moment we are being infused with extreme tenderness by the natural forces. Meditation is the process of delicately turning our attention to the ways that nature is always and infinitely holding and nurturing us. The techniques of meditation throughout the ages consist of many different ways of engaging with some aspect of how life renews itself – the flow of breath, or the rhythm of the heart, or the way that sound and silence play with each other. Through meditation and body awareness we move into a world we crave to enter, in which our dozen senses are awake to what we have. Through these modes of perception we directly experience the suffusion of love with each breath and each heartbeat.

Through such embodied meditation we come into rapport with ourselves, with our environment, and with the rhythms of nature. We become intimate with our biological rhythms, with the music of life, with the laws of gravity, space, time, magnetism, and light. To meditate is to become engaged with the deep movement of life, giving in to the instinct to love. When we are in rapport this way, we feel we are in the right place, living the life we are meant to. We feel grateful to be alive. When we meditate on our relationships, we renew the rapport that sustains and strengthens those bonds.

Embracing this inner connection powerfully enhances your health, deepens and clarifies your relationships, and is a wellspring of creativity. You are fully alive. You are at home in yourself, at home in the universe, at home in love, no matter where you go.

Find a comfortable place to meditate where you won't be disturbed for at least 20 minutes. If possible make a special place for you to meditate. Perhaps create a small altar or use a beautiful piece of fabric you unroll mindfully and with sacred intent each time you prepare to sit in meditation. Your mind is very trainable and anything you can do to signal 'this is a sacred time for me to connect with my spirit' is most helpful. Get as comfortable as possible and take a few long, slow deep breaths.

Gently close your eyes and look upward. As soon as you look upwards your brain automatically begins to create alpha brain waves which are the predominate brain waves produced during
meditation. An easy way to begin meditating is to focus your attention on your breath. If your mind, wanders gently and lovingly bring your attention back to your breath. You may need to return to your breath frequently at first. After a time, you will be able to sit quietly and observe your thoughts without becoming caught up in them.

After 15 or 20 minutes take another deep breath and slowly open your eyes. Sit quietly for a few moments before you get up. I find it helpful to take a few minutes to write about my experience afterward although that isn't necessary. Make this a special time for yourself, one you look forward to and celebrate.

You can focus on your breath, word, a prayer, a passage in a book or anything else you find uplifting. Allow the process to be easy and gently accept your process, whatever that is.

Here is a guided meditation I wrote about spiritual awakening. You can read it into a recorder and listen to it or just think about it as you sit quietly.

Spiritual Awakening

Take a few deep breaths and mentally give yourself permission to relax. Really focus your full attention on your breath and as you inhale breathe in relaxation and as you exhale release anything unlike relaxation. Allow yourself to fully experience your breath as it moves in and out of your body. As your breath fills your body with life sustaining air relax the muscles in your chest and let go. Let the feeling of relaxation flow into your stomach and let go of anything unlike relaxation in your chest or your stomach. (Pause)

Relax your jaw and all the muscles in your face. Breathe in through your mouth and out through your nose, slowly, deeply, and rhythmically. Relax your shoulders and your neck, allow yourself to feel totally relaxed. Allow your consciousness to drift gently moving you into a place of total relaxation.

Imagine yourself standing in the center of an ancient cathedral. You are standing on a huge disk or polished marble, there is a shaft of light flooding the cathedral causing the slab of marble to glow with an inner beauty. As you stand there you are filled with an immense feeling of love and acceptance.

You ask to understand the energy of compassion. An inner knowing begins to fill you, you see images, feel emotions, and hear thoughts that all teach you about compassion. You stand there with a willingness and a curiosity. You truly want to understand compassion and you do.

Then you ask to understand the nature of a spiritual awakening. As you stand there the marble begins to resonate. You feel an energy begin to surround you and you begin to think what a spiritual awakening would mean to you. How it would affect your life and what it would look like for you to have a deep spiritual connection.

You find yourself standing in the presence of your spirit. You look deeply into its eyes and you can feel its love and acceptance. You feel whole in the presence of your spirit. You feel at peace. You ask your spirit for its help, for its support, and its guidance. You take a deep breath and allow yourself to connect, you allow yourself to be one.

Allow the connection to deepen and grow. When you are ready bring yourself gently back to your room and open your eyes. Take your time getting up. Take a few minutes to write about your experience.

Love exists in itself, not relying on owning or being owned. Like the pearl, love can only buy itself, because love is not a matter of currency or exchange. No one has enough to buy it but everyone has enough to cultivate it. Metta reunites us with what it means to be alive and unbound.

Researchers once gave a plant to every resident of a nursing home. They told half of these elderly people that the plants were theirs to care for -- they had to pay close attention to their plants' needs for water and sunlight, and they had to respond carefully to those needs. The researchers told the other half of the residents that their plants were theirs to enjoy but that they did not have to take any responsibility for them; the nursing staff would care for the plants.

At the end of a year, the researchers compared the two groups of elders. The residents who had been asked to care for their plants were living considerably longer than the norm, were much healthier, and were more oriented towards and connected to their world. The other residents, those who had plants but did not have to stay responsive to them, simply reflected the norms for people their age in longevity, health, alertness, and engagement with the world.

This study shows, among other things, the enlivening power of connection, of love, of intimacy. This is the effect that metta can have on our lives. But when I heard about the study, I also reflected on how often we regard intimacy as a force between ourselves and something outside ourselves -- another person, or even a plant -- and how rarely we consider the force of being intimate with ourselves, with our own inner experience. How rarely do we lay claim to our own lives and feel connected to ourselves!

A way to discover intimacy with ourselves and all of life is to live with integrity, basing our lives on a vision of compassionate nonharming. When we dedicate ourselves to actions that do not hurt ourselves or others, our lives become all of one piece, a "seamless garment" with nothing separate or disconnected in the spiritual reality we discover.

In order to live with integrity, we must stop fragmenting and compartmentalizing our lives. Telling lies at work and expecting great truths in meditation is nonsensical. Using our sexual energy in a way that harms ourselves or others, and then expecting to know transcendent love in another arena, is mindless. Every aspect of our lives is connected to every other aspect of our lives. This truth is the basis for an awakened life. When we live with integrity, we further enhance intimacy with ourselves by being able to rejoice, taking active delight in our actions. Rejoicing opens us tremendously, dissolving our barriers, thereby enabling intimacy to extend to all of life. Joy has so much capacity to eliminate separation that the Buddha said, "Rapture is the gateway to nirvana."

The enlivening force itself is rapture. It brightens our vitality, our gratitude, and our love. We begin to develop rapture by rejoicing in our own goodness. We reflect on the good things we have done, recollecting times when we have been generous, or times when we have been caring. Perhaps we can think of a time when it would have been easy to hurt somebody, or to tell a lie, or to be dismissive, yet we made the effort not to do that. Perhaps we can think of a time when we gave something up in a way that freed our mind and helped someone else. Or perhaps we can think of a time when we have overcome some fear and reached out to someone. These reflections open us to a wellspring of happiness that may have been hidden from us before.

Contemplating the goodness within ourselves is a classical meditation, done to bring light, joy, and rapture to the mind. In contemporary times this practice might be considered rather embarrassing, because so often the emphasis is on all the unfortunate things we have done, all the disturbing mistakes we have made. Yet this classical reflection is not a way of increasing conceit. It is rather a commitment to our own happiness, seeing our happiness as the basis for intimacy with all of life. It fills us with joy and love for ourselves and a great deal of self-respect.

Significantly, when we do metta practice, we begin by directing metta toward ourselves. This is the essential foundation for being able to offer genuine love to others. When we truly love ourselves, we want to take care of others, because that is what is most enriching, or nourishing, for us. When we have a genuine inner life, we are intimate with ourselves and intimate with others. The insight into our inner world allows us to connect to everything around us, so that we can see quite clearly the oneness of all that lives. We see that all beings want to be happy, and that this impulse unites us. We can recognize the rightness and beauty of our common urge towards happiness, and realize intimacy in this shared urge.

If we are practicing metta and we cannot see the goodness in ourselves or in someone else, then we reflect on that fundamental wish to be happy that underlies all action. "Just as I want to be happy, all beings want to be happy." This reflection gives rise to openness, awareness, and love. As we commit to these values, we become embodiments of a lineage that stretches back through beginningless time. All good people of all time have wanted to express openness, awareness, and love. With every phrase of metta, we are declaring our alignment with these values.

From this beginning, metta practice proceeds in a very structured way and specific way. After we have spent some time directing metta to ourselves, we then move on to someone who has been very good to us, for whom we feel gratitude and respect. In the traditional terminology, this person is known as a "benefactor." Later we move to someone who is a beloved friend. It is relatively easy to direct lovingkindness to these categories of beings (we say beings rather than people to include the possibility of animals in these categories.) After we have established this state of connection, we move on to those that it may be harder to direct lovingkindness toward. In this way we open up our limits and extend our capacity for benevolence.

Thus, next we direct lovingkindness to someone whom we feel neutral toward, someone for whom we feel neither great liking nor disliking. This is often an interesting time in the practice, because it may be difficult to find somebody for whom we have no instantaneous judgment. If we can find such a neutral person, we direct metta toward them.

After this, we are ready for the next step -- directing metta toward someone with whom we have experienced conflict, someone toward whom we feel lack of forgiveness, or anger, or fear. In the Buddhist scriptures this person is somewhat dramatically known as "the enemy." This is a very powerful stage in the practice, because the enemy, or the person with whom we have difficulty stands right at the division between the finite and the infinite radiance of love. At this point, conditional love unfolds into unconditional love. Here dependent love can turn to the flowering of an independent love that is not based upon getting what we want or having our expectations met. Here we learn that the inherent happiness of love is not compromised by likes and dislikes, and thus, like the sun, it can shine on everything. This love is truly boundless. It is born out of freedom, and it is offered freely.

Through the power of this practice, we cultivate an equality of loving feeling toward ourselves and all beings. There was a time in Burma when I was practicing metta intensively. I had taken about six weeks to go through all the different categories: myself, benefactor, friend, neutral person, and enemy. After I had spent these six weeks doing the metta meditation all day long, my teacher, U Pandita, called me into his room and said, "Say you were walking in the forest with your benefactor, your friend, your neutral person, and your enemy. Bandits come up and demand that you choose one person in your group to be sacrificed. Which one would you choose to die?"

I was shocked at U Pandita's question. I sat there and looked deep into my heart, trying to find a basis from which I could choose. I saw that I could not feel any distinction between any of those people, including myself. Finally I looked at U Pandita and replied, "I couldn't choose; everyone seems the same to me."

U Pandita then asked, "You wouldn't choose your enemy?" I thought a minute and then answered, "No, I couldn't."

Finally U Pandita asked me, "Don't you think you should be able to sacrifice yourself to save the others?" He asked the question as if more than anything else in the world he wanted me to say, "Yes, I'd sacrifice myself." A lot of conditioning rose up in me -- an urge to please him, to be "right" and to win approval. But there was no way I could honestly say "yes," so I said, "No, I can't see any difference between myself and any of the others." He simply nodded in response, and I left.

Later I was reading the Visuddhi Magga, one of the great commentarial works of Buddhist literature which describes different meditation techniques and the experiences of practicing these techniques. In the section on metta meditation, I came to that very question about the bandits. The answer I had given was indeed considered the correct one for the intensive practice of metta.

Of course, in different life situations many different courses of action might be appropriate. But the point here is that metta does not mean that we denigrate ourselves in any situation in order to uphold other people's happiness. Authentic intimacy is not brought about by denying our own desire to be happy in unhappy deference to others, nor by denying others in narcissistic deference to ourselves. Metta means equality, oneness, wholeness. To truly walk the Middle Way of the Buddha, to avoid the extremes of addiction and self-hatred, we must walk in friendship with ourselves as well as with all beings.

When we have insight into our inner world and what brings us happiness, then wordlessly, intuitively, we understand others. As though there were no longer a barrier defining the boundaries of our caring, we can feel close to others' experience of life. We see that when we are angry, there is an element of pain in the anger that is not different from the pain that others feel when they are angry. When we feel love there is a distinct and special joy in that feeling. We come to know that this is the nature of love itself, and that other beings filled with love experience of this same joy.

In practicing metta we do not have to make a certain feeling happen. In fact, during the practice we see that we feel differently at different times. Any momentary emotional tone is far less relevant than considerable power of intention we harness as we say these phrases. As we repeat, "May I be happy; may all beings be happy," we are planting seeds by forming this powerful intention in the mind. The seed will bear fruit in its own time.

When I was practicing metta intensively in Burma, at times when I repeated the metta phrases, I would picture myself in a wide open field planting seeds. Doing metta we plant the seeds of love, knowing that nature will take its course and in time those seeds will bear fruit. Some seeds will come to fruition quickly, some slowly, but our work is simply to plant the seeds. Every time we form the intention in the mind for our own happiness or for the happiness of others, we are doing our work; we are channeling the powerful energies of our own minds. Beyond that, we can trust the laws of nature to continually support the flowering of our love. As Pablo Neruda says:

Perhaps the earth can teach us, as when everything seems dead in winter and later proves to be alive.

When we started our retreat center, Insight Meditation Society, in 1975, many of us there decided to do a self-retreat for a month to inaugurate the center. I planned to do metta for the entire month. This was before I'd been to Burma, and it would be my first opportunity to do intensive and systematic metta meditation. I had heard how it was done in extended practice, and I planned to follow that schedule. So the first week I spent directing lovingkindness towards myself. I felt absolutely nothing. It was the dreariest, most boring week I had known in some time. I sat there saying, "May I be happy, may I be peaceful," over and over again with no obvious result.

Then, as it happened, someone we knew in the community had a problem, and a few of us had to leave the retreat suddenly. I felt even worse, thinking, "Not only did I spend this week doing metta and getting nothing from it, but I also never even got beyond directing metta towards myself. So on top of everything else, I was really selfish."

I was in a frenzy getting ready to leave. As I was hurriedly getting everything together in my bathroom, I dropped a jar. It shattered all over the floor. I still remember my immediate response: "You are really a klutz, but I love you." And then I thought, "Wow! Look at that. Something did happen in this week of practice."

So the intention is enough. We form the intention in our mind for our happiness and the happiness of all. This is different from struggling to fabricate a certain feeling, to create it out of our will, to make it happen. We just settle back and plant the seeds without worrying about the immediate result. That is our work. If we do our work, then manifold benefits will surely come.

Fortunately, the Buddha was characteristically precise about what those benefits include. He said that the intimacy and caring that fill our hearts as the force of lovingkindness develops will bring eleven particular advantages:

1) You will sleep easily. 2) You will wake easily. 3) You will have pleasant dreams. 4) People will love you. 5) Devas [celestial beings] and animals will love you. 6) Devas will protect you. 7) External dangers [poisons, weapons, and fire] will not harm you. 8) Your face will be radiant. 9) Your mind will be serene. 10) You will die unconfused. 11) You will be reborn in happy realms.

People doing formal metta practice often memorize these eleven benefits and recite them to themselves regularly. Reminding ourselves of the fruit of our intention and effort can bring a lot of faith and rapture, sustaining us through those inevitable times when it seems as if the practice is not "getting anywhere." When we consider each of these benefits, we can see more fully how metta revolutionizes our lives.

When we steep our hearts in lovingkindness, we are able to sleep easily, to awaken easily, and to have pleasant dreams. To have self-respect in life, to walk through this life with grace and confidence, means having a commitment to nonharming and to loving care. If we do not have these things, we can neither rest nor be at peace; we are always fighting against ourselves. The feelings we create by harming are painful both for ourselves and for others. Thus harming leads to guilt, tension, and complexity. Sleeping easily, waking easily, But living a clear and simple life, free from resentment, fear, and guilt, extends into our sleeping, dreaming and waking.

The next benefit the Buddha pointed out is that if we practice metta we will receive in return the love of others. This is not a heartless calculating motivation, but rather a recognition that the energy we extend in this world draws to it that same kind of energy. If we extend the force of love, love returns to us. The American psychologist William James once said, "My experience is what I agree to attend to. Only those items I notice shape my mind." Perhaps this is partially how this law works -- opening to the energy of love within us, we can notice it more specifically around us.

It happens on other levels as well. If we are committed in our lives to the force of lovingkindness, then people know that they can trust us. They know we will not deceive them; we will not harm them. By being a beacon of trustworthiness in this world, we become a safe haven for others and a good friend.

The next set of benefits the Buddha points out promises that if we practice metta we will be protected. Devas, and other invisible beings, are classically taught as part of the Buddhist cosmology, but we don't have to believe in the intervention of invisible forces in order to comprehend how the practice of metta protects us. This assertion does not mean being protected in the sense that nothing bad will ever happen to us, because clearly the vicissitudes of life are completely outside our control. Pleasure and pain, gain and loss, praise and blame, and fame and ill repute will revolve throughout our lives. But nevertheless we can be protected by the nature of how we receive, how we hold that which our karma brings us.

Albert Einstein said, "The splitting of the atom has changed everything except for how we think." How we think, how we look at our lives, is all-important, and the degree of love we manifest determines the degree of spaciousness and freedom we can bring to life's events.

Imagine taking a very small glass of water and putting into it a teaspoon of salt. Because of the small size of the container, the teaspoon of salt is going to have a big impact upon the water. However, if you approach a much larger body of water, such as a lake, and put into it that same teaspoonful of salt, it will not have the same intensity of impact, because of the vastness and openness of the vessel receiving it. Even when the salt remains the same, the spaciousness of the vessel receiving it changes everything.

We spend a lot of our lives looking for a feeling of safety or protection; we try to alter the amount of salt that comes our way. Ironically, the salt is the very thing that we cannot do anything about, as life changes and offers us repeated ups and downs. Our true work is to create a container so immense that any amount of salt, even a truckload, can come into it without affecting our capacity to receive it. No situation, even an extreme one, then can mandate a particular reaction.

Once I had a meditation student who had been a child in Nazi-occupied Europe. She recounted an instance when she was around ten years old when a German soldier held a gun to her chest -- a situation that would readily arouse terror. Yet she related feeling no fear at all, thinking, "You may be able to kill my body, but you can't kill me." What a spacious reaction! It is in this way that lovingkindness opens the vastness of mind in us, which is ultimately our greatest protection.

Another benefit of cultivating of metta is that one's face becomes very clear and shining. This means that an unfeigned inner beauty shines forth. We know in life situations how mind affects matter, how if we are enraged about something, it shows in our face. If somebody is full of hatred, it shows in the way they stand, the way they move, the way their jaw is set. It is not very attractive. No amount of make-up, jewelry, or embellishments bring beauty to a sullen, disgruntled, angry face. In just the same way, when someones mind is filled with the rapture of lovingkindness or compassion, it is beautiful to see the expression of light, of radiance, on their face and bearing.

With the practice of metta one also has a serene mind. The feeling of lovingkindness generates great peace. This is the mind that can say, "You are really a klutz, but I love you." It is a feeling endowed with acceptance, patience, and spaciousness. This great peace allows union with all of life, because we are not relying on changing circumstances for our happiness.

The peace of metta offers the kind of happiness that gives us the ability to concentrate. Serenity is the most important ingredient in being able to be present or being able to concentrate the mind. Concentration is an act of cherishing a chosen object. If we have no serenity, the mind will be scattered, and we will not be able to gather in the energy that is being lost to distraction. When we can concentrate, all of this energy is returned to us. This is the potency that heals us.

If we practice metta, another major benefit is that we will die unconfused. Our habitual ways of thinking, acting, and relating to life tend to be the ones that are strongest at the time of death as well. If we spend a lifetime feeling separate, apart, cultivating anger, giving way to frustration, to fear, to desire, that will likely be the mental-emotional environment within which we face our death. But if we have lived our life in a way that honors our connectedness, reflects our oneness, and cultivates caring and giving, that is likely to be how we will die.

The last specific benefit the Buddha spoke of was being reborn in happy realms as a result of filling our hearts with lovingkindness. The potential for rebirth again and again in various realms of pleasure or pain is part of the Buddhist worldview. For someone who subscribes to this vision of life, rebirth in a realm where one can attain liberation is most important. For those who don't subscribe to this vision, the benefits of metta can surely be seen to come to us in this lifetime.

Metta is the priceless treasure that enlivens us and brings us into intimacy with ourselves and others. It is the force of love that will lead beyond fragmentation, loneliness and fear. The late Hindu guru Neem Karoli Baba often said, "Don't throw anyone out of your heart." One of the most powerful healings (and greatest adventures) of our lifetime can come about as we learn to live by this dictum.

· Notice any tensions in the body and let go of them as best you can.

· Begin to notice the area around the heart center - the place where you experience emotions such as sadness, tenderness, and love - and accept, as best you can, whatever emotions you find there.

· Then mindfully repeat a phrase, such as "May I be well," or "May I feel safe," or "May I find peace." Repeat this phrase for at lest 5 to 10 minutes.

· Then let the phrase fade way into silence and just sit quietly for a minute or two until you feel ready to move.

In time you can add to this practice by calling to mind someone who has hurt you in the past, and by directing phrases towards them. You can say things such as, "May you be well," "May you find peace," or "May you be free from suffering." Cultivating an attitude of lovingkindness in this way can enable us to let go of our hurt and to cultivate forgiveness.

Sometimes, however, there can be so much anger towards another person that it's hard to imagine wishing them well, or if we try to do so we find that the mind spins out of control into hurt or anger. In these circumstances we
may have to deepen our self-empathy and self-compassion before we can start to forgive the other person. I've found that a highly effective way to do
this is as follows:

· As before, sit quietly in a posture that's comfortable and dignified, and relax the body as best you can.

· Call to mind the situation that's leading to you experiencing pain.

· Ask yourself what's the worst thing about this situation. What is it you most fear will happen? Or what do you most fear you'll lose?

· Anger or fear may be present. Just notice and accept these emotions, realizing that they're transient and are not ultimately a part of you.

· Notice that underneath the anger or fear you're experiencing pain, and notice where in the body this pain is experienced. Often the pain will be focused in the heart or solar plexus, but it may be somewhere else.

· Realizing that your pain is neither good nor bad, but it simply is a part of you that's hurting, wish your pain well. You can use a phrase such as,"May you be well," "May you be happy," or "May you find peace."

· One you've repeated the phrase for 5 to 10 minutes, just sit quietly until you feel ready to move once again.

Unfortunately, as stress accumulates our own health and fitness goals are often sidelined. We again place what we desire and want for ourselves back on the shelf, because our lives become over stimulated with other obligations. Beating stress is a difficult task, but we have the power and control to survive the holidays and the end of the year frenzy by making just a few changes in our own habits and ways of thinking.

Stress is defined as anything that stimulates you and increases your level of alertness. Life without this stimulus would be incredibly dull and boring, but with too much of this stimulus, life becomes unpleasant, tiring and eventually damaging to our health and well- being. As stress builds, we are at a higher risk of fatigue, depression, burn out, sudden loss of self-control and weight gain. In order to keep this stimulus at a healthy and enjoyable level, we must master the art of stress management by making a few small changes in our habits and ways of thinking.

There are four main habits we need to consider when conquering stress. These habits are meditation and relaxation, exercise, good nutrition and self-control. Each habit listed is easily forgotten and given up when additional stress enters our lives. We tend to put each of these techniques on the shelf, even though they are solutions to making ourselves feel better both emotionally and physically.

Meditation and relaxation is a good place to begin, since they teach us to take time for ourselves. It is easy to stretch our limits by promising to accomplish everything other people ask of us. Unfortunately, there are only 24-hours in a day, and usually that isn't enough time to meet all the deadlines and activities on our calendars. That's when meditation and other relaxation practices are particularly useful in controlling stress. They help slow down breathing, reduce blood pressure, relax tense muscles, eliminate stressful thoughts, reduce anxiety, help with concentration and give the body time to eliminate lactic acid and other waste products that accumulate.

The essence of meditation is to silence your thoughts by focusing completely on just one focal point. I suggest trying yoga or silent breathing exercises to experience this form of meditation. One breathing exercise worth trying involves concentrating on your breaths in and out while lying down in a quiet place, or where there is soft music playing in the background. You can accompany this by counting your breaths using the numbers 0 to 9 or you can visualize health and relaxation flowing in with each inhale and stress or pain flowing out with each exhale. In all cases, forms of meditation help your body relax and release the stress within.

Besides meditation, participating in frequent effective exercise is probably one of the best physical stress-reduction techniques available. The only downfall with exercise is how easy it is to push it last on our priority list and say "it can be done later" and "there is no time to fit that into my schedule." I often get concerned hearing comments like those because taking exercise out of our lives tends to have an opposite effect from what we think it will. In other words, we haven't helped our situation, but only added more stress to our lives and bodies.

Exercise has several positive benefits that most people are not aware of. Exercise improves blood flow to your brain bringing additional sugars and oxygen to your brain, which aids thinking and concentration. By exercising, you speed the flow of blood through your brain, moving waste products due to neurons of the brain functioning more intensely, and it can cause the release of chemicals called endorphins into your bloodstream and decreases "stress hormones" like cortisol. Those hormones give you a feeling of happiness and well-being.

Without exercise, we also add more physical stress on our bodies. Someone who is physically fit has an organ system functioning at an optimal level. If this individual should become ill or injured, they will have a stronger immune system to fight off the discomfort and recover quickly. So improving your overall health and vitality with exercise can also save you a great deal of stress by strengthening your immunity to colds, the flu and other minor illnesses. Along with exercise comes nutrition, which is another habit change we can work on during the holidays.

A surprising amount of stress we may experience on a daily basis can be caused by what we eat. By eating and drinking certain foods, we actually put our bodies under chemical stress. So why do we stop making the effort to write in our food journals, why do we stop making the best choices at a party or holiday gathering, and why do we stop feeling the need to eat unhealthy food?

The answer is because it's probably easier just to do what is habit, even though they are habits that we do not like. And, in the end, we are disappointed with ourselves and stressed because of the extra pounds we have gained. Similarly, if we are eating an unbalanced diet, we may be stressing our bodies by depriving them of essential nutrients and eating too large a portion, which causes weight gain and puts additional stress on our hearts and lungs.

During this season, it is also important to be aware of the effects of certain foods, including caffeine, alcohol, nicotine and sugar. If you eat well-balanced meals consisting of one-third portions of protein, complex carbohydrates and fibrous carbohydrates, you will minimize this chemical stress and feel good about yourself at the same time. And instead of gaining five to 10 pounds, you may actually lose five pounds.

Lastly, I want to emphasize the importance of self-control in reducing stress. When under stress, it is very easy to lose perspective of what is important and what can wait until later. Problems that seem small can take on an apparent size that makes them seem difficult and intimidating. Naturally, this will increase your stress level and will feed your feeling of stress.

If you take a positive approach to life, take time for yourself to get what your body needs and wants, try to find a good side to every situation, then you will find that you are less likely to feel stressed. You will worry less, sleep better, exercise more, eat healthier, and enjoy the holiday season. An important part of making habitual changes is learning to view mistakes as learning experiences. We won't always stay perfect with our exercise and nutrition commitments. There will always be an occasion we travel off the path. But when you are in control of your life, you can control the level of stress you face and get right back on the right path. But when you are out of control and find the only way to escape is by pushing aside all of your health and fitness goals, than you cannot prevent stress from building on top of stress. Often the difference between being in control and out of control comes down to making an investment of the little free time you have by doing something that will benefit your long-term health.

Now is the time of year to start eliminating stress by taking control of your life, staying committed to your exercise and nutritional programs and taking time out to relax. In the end, you will be healthier, stronger and happier-and can enjoy the holiday season.

It is in the stillness of our heart that we find the peace we seek in the world. It is the connection deep within to the very source of our being where we recognize the oneness of life. It is here that we transcend the duality of perceived right and wrong thinking, judgment, control and attachment. In this awareness, we let go of the need to have the world behave according to our preconceived expectations and we dare to love unconditionally. We embrace love for love’s sake and in doing so, we also experience peace.  

To know unconditional love is to know peace. When we love without condition, we naturally engage the dynamic quality of peace and allow this energy to permeate our outer experience as well. We balance the inner and outer reflections with a grander perspective that sees beyond the obvious before us. We know we are simply experiencing life from our unique viewpoint in the moment and we have the power to choose love and peace.

Although many assume peace to be quiescent, idle and quiet, it is truly an energy that is vibrant and alive. It is colorful, engaging and encouraging. It is filled with potential and enhances our creativity. It calls to us to explore without limitation and to express ourselves with a distinct sense of freedom. Peace is also something we easily share as it is in limitless supply. We joyfully convey it to others and witness its expansion in ever growing waves.

Peace begins with us. It has always been this way. The more we express our love, the greater our sense of peace. The more peace we radiate, the more profoundly we comprehend the sublime beauty it reveals. Since love and peace already exist as a state of consciousness within us, it ensures that it will become our collective reality.