I am at the end of my rope with these legal issues.  The appeal needs to be filed by the 3rd and I don't have the funds to do so.  I am a survivor and refuse to be a victim any longer.  But I can be sad!

My night terrors have returned and my lack of trust is slowly diminishing.  I have been betrayed and I don't have the energy to continue with this nonsense but I will continue however I can.

I am also disappointed in a lot of people and how they react to not getting their ways or in the way they manipulate others and situations to make a situation worse than it actually is.  Most of you have serious issues and the only way for you to even feel any sort of power is by belittling others or to just try and make their lives miserable however you can.  Here, it is by sanctioning and blocking certain applications and this is only done by the supposed powers that be who are behind the scenes supposedly, but appear to show up at the most opportune times for themselves.  For those people, shame on you and I hope you can sleep well at night.

For those of you who are caring and loving and non-judgmental, YOU ARE THE GREATEST GIFTS TO ME AS YOUR FRIENDSHIPS MEAN THE MOST TO ME!  You are the reasons I am here and able to even write this share.

Everyone, today was a bad day, actually the last few days have been bad days.  Lack of sleep is taking away my energy and zest for life and the constant flashbacks are causing me to lose faith in society in general and not care about anything.

I look to people to help who don't care unless they are getting something out of it such as the ability to gossip about something or just additional knowledge about someone that they should not have and believe me because my name is so common, people think I am a murderer, robber, and etc. but I am not.  I am a caring person who looks after all or at least I try to.

On this site and many others, the native american plight has been recognized immensely and I thank God for it everyday.  I thank God that you are being given a chance to have your stories listened to and actually heard without judgment.  On the other hand as a woman of African ancestry, the stigma still exists within this society that black is wrong.  Black or whatever term some use for the minority existence is demeaning and demanding and not acceptable.

My news stories don't get noted properly regardless of what they represent, my petitions don't get the proper attention with the same results for other civil right's issues within the petition area.  They are overlooked and this is acceptable behavior.

You have to be friends with the some of the major people on care2 or the power behind the site in order for your history and your causes to be recognized.  I am speaking the truth as it has revealed itself to me!  ALL I HAVE LEFT IS THE TRUTH AND I WON'T BE SANCTIONED WHILE SPEAKING MY OPINION ON WHAT I THINK THE STATE OF AFFAIRS ARE ON THIS SITE.

More than likely one of you will make it disappear or make me disappear from this site but you cannoth make me disappear from the internet. I have survived attempted cyber-suicide and harrassment.  I have survived being attacked on here for African ancestry reparations and wrongs and called a few names far and in between.  I have been provoked but that game is over, I WILL NOT STEP INTO ANY MORE QUICKSAND.  I AM A SURVIVOR!

Empower, Unite, and Succeed!

Amicably submitted,

Professor Cynthia Johnson, MS
Founder and Director,
Recovering and Rebuilding

*With perseverance and hard work, success will happen*

There was another court date on Friday, the 17th. Slept evaded me for almost two days. I can only assume that it was due to anxiety about being in the court with police officers but mostly because my attorney is full of crap. He personally told me that he was friends with the prosecutor and the judge???? What was the point???? He has not done a piece of work towards this case since he took my money and HE DID NOT SHOW UP IN COURT ON FRIDAY! I almost did not make it but I got ready and went to court. I had to take deep breaths constantly and I PRAYED!

Going to court on the 4th was an experience I will never forget.  We will dismiss all charges if you release the city of newark from all liability.  Admit Guilt and we will let you go.  But first it was a plea bargaining session...I REFUSED AND THE JUDGE ADVISED THAT IF FOUND GUILTY I COULD DO UP TO SIX MONTHS IN JAIL.  WTH!!!!  Trial is set for June 30th and I actually give up!!!!

I still am baffled with the excuses that come from the organizations that are running campaigns, soliciting for donations, and support for various causes, but if you ask for advocacy, you are denied.  The rationale that comes from various people are the same; "I'm sorry but we can't take on every case".  This is nonsense in that if your situation falls under that particular cause, then why can't they just add your name to the list?  I made another call to AI today after clicking once again on the stop the violence campaign and receiving another e-mail for me to support their cause.  Isn't their cause supposed to include my Cause?  If not, then WTH is the problem?  How do you pick and choose?

The worst part is that I have never asked for financial help, just advocacy!  Just to be able to have some backing from an organization that cares.  Someone that cares!

I'm tired of hearing alledged....I'm tired of hearing you have to get over it....and most of all I'm tired of hearing we can't take on every case...

My answer is: then stop asking me to take on every cause!!!!

I am not Super CKitty!

C.

As I look at myself in the mirror, I still see a tormented woman who is trying hard to regain her composure and release the spirit of fear and disgust that binds her.

Lo and behold, I was told today that the racist blue that assaulted me has a history of doing this to others....

The cover up has been for monetary purposes only.....It has been so that politicians and blues pockets stay fat while this woman's life has been turned upside down....

Everyone turned their backs...everyone!!!!

 

It doesn't matter if you're in jail for 1 to life, there are still psychological affects associated with being incarcerated.  The affects are more intrusive if you were brutalized or traumatized before, during, and after the incarceration.  The systems are a vicious circle to deal with and when they are dead set on covering things up, your already almost non-existent self is put under additional stress and your life is not your life any longer, but you are now a victim who has been victimized by the systems.  After these events, you are oftentimes placed on medication due to suffering from other disorders such as post traumatic stress disorder.  Everyone's psyche is different and therefore have different reactions to being victimized, but for myself, it was the worst nightmare of my life.  The vitality and exuberance I had for life no longer exists and it is literally taking my all to remain as positive as possible although I continue to hit brick walls on my quest for justice and planning this rally is draining but I will prevail.  I don't know if I will ever be the same again.  I still scream at night!!!!

To:  All Care2 Members:

I am presently in the process of preparing a venue for a rally to be held in New York to stomp out violence and it's impact on the mental health issues in society.  This is to include issues of domestic violence, police brutality, corruption, cover ups, and just general issues of violence that impacts mental and emotional issues in our communities.  Peace will be the major focus and how to develop a more cohesive community and world.  I encourage all who are within the northeast to join in as I plan on this being a huge event with many artists, activists, local  poets/poetresses; just local entertainment in general.  There will also be some political figures.  There will be vendors on site and etc.....any/all proceeds will be donated to Help USA, which is a homeless shelter that provides a lot of help within our communities.

I will provide an URL shortly with all information on the Rally and the exact date which will be sometime in June 09'.  I expect lots of people so if there are any care2 members who want to come, please notify me, especially if you would like to be a part of the venue, have flyers supporting any petitions you may have and/or if you want to speak.  I am also going to try and have some computers on site so we can get some petitions signed that day or develop some kind of forms for signatures.  Please stay tuned for more information.

C

Just imagine if we all took a moment in time to read each other's blogs, comments, petitions, shares, and etc. and tried to understand their circumstances for just a moment in time.  Imagine how many signatures we would all get for our particular causes and dilemmas thus bringing about faster change and more cohesiveness within this changing world.  Imagine how much everyone would appreciate each other and your causes and stop in their tracks for a moment in time to support each other.  If you think about it, there would be no need for petitions to have a small amount of signatures or any blogs, newsletters, or any shares that have no comments because we would all be in sync with each other and would be following and truly caring for each other in this world.  Allow consciousness to invade your space for a moment in time.....Just imagine!