"Awake"

A beautiful and blinding morning
The world outside begins to breathe
See clouds arriving without warning
I need you here to shelter me

And I know that only time will tell us how
To carry on without each other

So keep me awake to memorize you
Give me more time to feel this way
We can't stay like this forever
But I can have you next to me today

If I could make these moments endless
If I could stop the winds of change
If we just keep our eyes wide open
Then everything would stay the same

And I know that only time will tell me how
We'll carry on without each other

So keep me awake for every moment
Give us more time to be this way
We can't stay like this forever
But I can have you next to me today

We'll let tomorrow wait, you're here, right now, with me
All my fears just fall away, when you are all I see

We can't stay like this forever
But I have you here today

And I will remember
Oh I will remember
Remember all the love we shared today

 http://new.music.yahoo.com/videos/Josh+Groban/Awake--157328288

http://www.imeem.com/artists/michael_jackson/music/y4WBGV8C/michael-jackson-i-just-cant-stop-loving-you/

I Just Want To Lay Next To You
For Awhile
You Look So Beautiful Tonight
Your Eyes Are So Lovely
Your Mouth Is So Sweet
A Lot Of People
Misunderstand Me
That's Because They Don't
Know Me At All
I Just Want To Touch You
And Hold You
I Need You
God I Need You
I Love You So Much

[Michael]
Each Time The Wind Blows
I Hear Your Voice So
I Call Your Name . . .
Whispers At Morning
Our Love Is Dawning
Heaven's Glad You Came . . .

You Know How I Feel
This Thing Can't Go Wrong
I'm So Proud To Say
I Love You
Your Love's Got Me High
I Long To Get By
This Time Is Forever
Love Is The Answer

[Siedah]
I Hear Your Voice Now
You Are My Choice Now
The Love You Bring
Heaven's In My Heart
At Your Call
I Hear Harps,
And Angels Sing

You Know How I Feel
This Thing Can't Go Wrong
I Can't Live My Life
Without You

[Michael]
I Just Can't Hold On

[Siedah]
I Feel We Belong

[Michael]
My Life Ain't Worth Living
If I Can't Be With You

[Both]
I Just Can't Stop Loving You
I Just Can't Stop Loving You
And If I Stop . . .
Then Tell Me Just What
Will I Do

[Siedah]
'Cause I Just Can't Stop
Loving You

[Michael]
At Night When The
Stars Shine
I Pray In You I'll Find
A Love So True . . .

[Siedah]
When Morning Awakes Me
Will You Come And Take Me
I'll Wait For You

[Michael]
You Know How I Feel
I Won't Stop Until
I Hear Your Voice Saying
"I Do"

[Siedah]
"I Do"
This Thing Can't Go Wrong

[Michael]
This Feeling's So Strong

[Siedah]
Well, My Life Ain't
Worth Living

[Both]
If I Can't Be With You
I Just Can't Stop Loving You
I Just Can't Stop Loving You
And If I Stop . . .
Then Tell Me, Just What
Will I Do

[Michael]
I Just Can't Stop Loving You

[Siedah]
We Can Change All The World
Tomorrow

[Michael]
We Can Sing Songs Of
Yesterday

[Siedah]
I Can Say, Hey . . .Farewell
To Sorrow

[Michael]
This Is My Life And I,

[Both]
Want To See You For Always
I Just Can't Stop Loving You

[Siedah]
No, Baby

[Michael]
Oh!

[Both]
I Just Can't Stop Loving You

[Siedah]
If I Can't Stop!

[Both]
And If I Stop . . .

[Siedah]
No

[Michael]
Oh! Oh! Oh . . .Oh . . .

[Siedah]
What Will I Do? Uh . . .Ooh . . .
(Then Tell Me, Just What
Will I Do)

[Both]
I Just Can't Stop Loving You

[Michael]
Hee! Hee! Hee! Know I Do
Girl!

[Both]
I Just Can't Stop Loving You

[Michael]
You Know I Do
And If I Stop . . .

[Both]
Then Tell Me, Just What
Will I Do

[Both]
I Just Can't Stop Loving You


MAY THE PERPETUAL LIGHT SHINE UPON YOU, REST IN PEACE KING OF POP. YOU WILL FOREVER BE REMEMBERED.

http://www.imeem.com/artists/michael_jackson/music/y4WBGV8C/michael-jackson-i-just-cant-stop-loving-you/


What a ride it was for this young boy who grew up to be a World Icon in the music industry. 

The abuse and overuse of prescription drugs is becoming more and more prevalent in a fast moving world where stress and anxiety have run havoc with so many lives. 

Can't we all take a moment to learn how to meditate and find ways to calm the soul within?  

Prescription drugs can help in cases of severe infection and other symptoms and signs of illness and disease, but we have got to get back to the simpler ways of living and find ways to return to a state of LOVE and PEACE.  It is what our soul longs for. 

What a shame Michael Jackson had so many enableers in his life who gave him the drugs his addiction craved to reduce the pain  and  stressors in his way too public life. 

I hope these children don't suffer too much from the questions regarding their biological parents who may be never known.       

One word frees us of all the weight and pain in life, that word is Love.

-- Socrates

With Mother's Day approaching, it is my hope that Jeffrey realizes the deep significance that our soul purpose has had being together for so many years.  It was about opening hearts and learning self forgiveness and letting go in order to love...especially to love his own Mother.  A man cannot love a woman, fully, when he does not love his Mother. It was not about his loving me.  Our relationship was about loving love and learning how to just be...one with God. I sense and feel a shift in his heart.  Stubborn and at times, unyielding, with Jeffrey, it can take a painful awakening to open his eyes to the truth. How paradoxical that a closed heart has the ability to break wide-open and become a vessel of love after the suffering forces of a broken leg, a broken spirit, or even a heart attack. On an emotional level, a M.I. can be caused when someone is unable to bear the pain of a broken heart over the loss of love - whether it be from a lover, spouse, parent or child, or community and friends. And the cure can be the remembrance that we are all born of love.  Jeffrey may have come to realize that his suffering was based on his "rigid thinking". We are not our angry thoughts, but loving souls who have lost our way.  Lately, I am feeling his change in heart, at last. My purpose in his life is over.  I have worked with the Almighty to help heal my soulmates pain. Jeffrey's heart is opening to feel God's love.  God heals broken spirits, if we  let go to let God heal us.  A Mother's broken heart can now be healed, as well.   

 One more heartfelt action needs to be addressed, and that is for Jeffrey and his brother to make full ammends to bring the family together, again.  Let go.  Let go.  Let go.  Old thinking and old attitudes are keeping the family in pain. Sibling rivary at its worst.  Let God heal the three of you - allow Him to open your hearts, fully.  Do it for your Mother.  Do it for your brother.  Do it for yourself. Do it for God.  Love awaits you.. Love is freedom...to be....isn't that what all of us want to be free from the resistance, the baggage, the pain of old thinking?  Let go and be happy. Anger causes friction, resistance, and pain.  Love. It is peaceful, joyful, beautiful, and energizing; it's as electrifying as listening to the gliding of one's fingers over an electric guitar and listening to the magic of nature's rhythm  ~  or being out on the stillness of the water in a sailboat, and a breeze comes along, and next thing you know you are moving on a beam reach and Mother Nature is uplifting - giving you a free and peaceful ride without effort. 

Become effortless in your actions to find ways to love one another. Do it to make your Mother Millie happy.   It is the salve that will bring all of you happiness ~  just by opening your heart and allowing God to work through it.   your loving soulmate, LJ

Loving is the only way to completeness.                  

 Love is always bestowed as a gift -- freely, willingly, and without expectation ... We don’t love to be loved; we love to love.

-- Leo Buscaglia

After one month  of emailing and talking on the phone from Feb. 22nd to March 20th 2000, Jeffrey and I finally met.  I had to cancel a few times, but Jeffrey understood. He knew I was leaving on a week long SCUBA diving trip to Cozumel on February 25th and there was a small window of opportunity to meet him for the first time.  I wouldn' t be back until March 3rd from my dive trip, and then I was leaving on March 22nd for a second trip for 10 days to Ireland.  I didn't realize Jeffrey was on a Spring vacation from Allen Stevenson school for two weeks, and that our first date was going to be at the tail end of his long vacation.  I'm sure he wanted to meet me at the beginning of his vacation so we could make several plans to go out. 

It had snowed on St. Patty's Day of 2000, and Jeffrey was trying to get his boat ready for the Spring season, so it gave him some things to do while waiting to finally meet me.  I barely knew anything about him, but when he called me at the office every day, I was smitten by his charm and attention.  I will never forget the first meeting as he stood on the side of the road on Commack Rd.  in Commack at exactly the precise time and place we agreed to meet. He stood tall and handsome in a dark navy peacoat with a head of flaming red hair, and his two large hands were wrapped around the long stems of beautiful salmon pink tulips with a lighter shade of pink around the scalloped tips. White puffs of  babies breath were nestled amongst the buds of the sweet smelling over-sized arrangement. What a nice way to bring in the first day of spring!  Jeffrey had hoped that I would have enough time to enjoy the flowers because he knew that I was leaving for Ireland in two days.   

Even though we had only been writing to each other for a few days before I left for my dive trip to Cozumel,  I knew I had a chance for new beginnings when I returned.  I stayed by myself  in a tropical paradise dive resort that could have been a honeymoon suite overlooking the tourquoise Straits of Cozumel with a lovely balcony to hang my dive gear to dry.  Alone, yes, but with the anticipation of meeting this mystery man and picking up my new silver Ford Taurus from Babylon Ford when I came back on March 3rd, I felt happy and hopeful. The window of opportunity between March 3rd and March 19th left me yearning for the day that our schedules could bring us together on the same day which became March 20th  the first day of Spring; it was the day that would change our lives, forever.  

When I left for Ireland on March 22, I had the pleasure of holding onto the memories of that first meeting with Jeffrey where we dined at an Italian restaurant on the north side of Route 25A just east of Commack Rd.  It was the place of our first passionate kiss in the restaurant parking lot in my brand new car where Jeffrey became my very first passenger on March 20, 2000. What a nice way to greet the spring equinox.  That day stirred my passions and opened my heart to want to love, again.

Five and one-half years later, when my 5 year old Taurus died on October 31rst 2005 on Ocean Ave. in Amityville,  I was heading toward my sailboat with a power washer in my car, and I intuited Jeffrey's presence in the air. We were already separated almost one and a half years, but ironically, I could sense him close by like I always could do. 

He was sailing up the Ocean Ave. river right past my broken down car to bring his sailboat out of the water for the season, and to drydock it. I was on my way to the next river, the Narrasketuck River, where my sailboat sat in the water waiting for me to hoist her out of the water, too.  

 I always have been able to feel.....and know when Jeffrey is out on the water.  How appropo that he shoud be passing right by the same car where we had our first kiss so long ago when the car was new and our love just budding, and during the final trip when the car I hoped would last me ten years would drive no more ...there was Jeffrey sailing by as the car was getting ready to be towed away to the junk yard; it was as though  he unconsciously passed by one more time as if in a funeral procession on that sailboat where we first made love ....giving his last respects unknowingly...to the vehicle where we had our first meeting and our first kiss that opened the gate to a great love story; it was a bitterswet one that could never be released out  into the public and had to be hidden inside his closed heart - a heart that harbored more secrets than the river had sailboats. 

And today is the First Day of Spring 2009 and I know Jeffrey has no recall that it was nine years ago today that we had our first meeting and lunch date.  He is finishing up his vacation from Spring break, and most likely sitting inside his house with all those glass walls watching the snow gently fall to greet the spring equinox.  He has other distractions going on in his life because he is not alone.  He has never been alone, and would not fair well if he had to endure the silence of living with only his own thoughts in a quiet house.  He needs to be in a relationship, but why did he feel the compulsion to triangulate and water down all his relationships with distractions?  This is not the type of man who commits to a lasting love and on this first day of new beginnings...the first day of Spring, I need to send him good wishes and find a way to let him go forever....this old wound...the pain...sadness...and loss of love has hurt me beyond words.  I find it painfully hard to express what this has done to my spirit, heart, and joy.  How do I let him go and celebrate my life without him?  Its as confusing as knowing it is the first day of Sprng and watching the snow fall outside on the beautiful crocuses in full flower.  What is their secret to surviving the cruel joke from Mother Nature?  How can the flowers survive and continue to flourish and blossom in the wake of Spring's cruel joke?  I think I will go buy myself some flowers to bring in the Spring, but should I buy salmon colored tulips that I have always bought each Spring to remember meeting Jeffrey on March 20th 2000 or should I buy some lovely kitchen herbs that will enhance a homemade meal tonight and perhaps even have some healing affects on this broken spirit?  Maybe I will stay indoors enjoying the snow coming down with fury, and thank God that I'm still able to feel from my heart those things that mean so much to me.      

 excerpt from "Sundays in the Rain...with You.   

Here's wishing you.....

Linda M.

New York

 I miss Jeffrey just like I knew I would always miss hiim as he lay by my side.  So I cherished each moment with him, and while he slept I studied his face and physique knowing that I would have to memorize every line and curve of his body because I had no pictures of him. This way I would never forget exactly as he appeared to me throughout the years we spent together.  I can see his sparkling tourquoise eyes in my mind's eye,  and see him walking through the front door with a dozen red roses behind his back; a playful smile on his beautiful face.  I can still smell his scent, feel his tender skin, and remember what it felt like to run my fingers through his well groomed, red hair while pressing my face against his chest - never his left shoulder because his right rotator cuff gave him problems. 

 Hank told Jeffrey and me that we would never say good bye, but that we are always changing.  I have just learned, tonight, that my dear friend, Hank, passed away and I did not get to say good bye to him.  I can see Hank in heaven still telling Jeffrey and me that we will always be together in spirit and that our lives intermingled with deep purpose. 

Life is filled with impermanance but we are like wild, free-spirited souls -  bonded together by the love of the sea   -  two sailors restless in the winds of change - forever free - never forgetting the love affair of a lifetime  - yes it was perfect - and without doubt,  that thought will never change in our minds.