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Ten Things A Cat Thinks About
Dec 2, 2005

1. I could have sworn I heard the can opener.
2. Is there something I'm not getting when humans make noise with their mouths?
3. Why doesn't the government do something about dogs?
4. I wonder if Morris really liked 9-Lives, or did he have ULTERIOR motives?
5. Hmmm ... If dogs serve humans, and humans serve cats, why can't we cats ever get these STUPID dogs to do anything for us?
6. This looks like a good spot for a nap.
7. Hey -- no kidding, I'm sure that's the can opener.
8. Would humans have built a vast and complex civilization of their own if we cats hadn't given them a reason to invent sofas and can openers in the first place?
9. If there's a God, how can He allow neutering?
10. If that really was the can opener, I'll play finicky just to let THEM know who's boss!
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Posted: Dec 2, 2005 4:52pm
Top 10 reasons why sleep is better than sex
Dec 1, 2005

1. It's legal to sleep in any position in all 50 states.
2. Your teddy bear never complains.
3. While sleeping, you can have sex with anyone you want.
4. Sleep can last a good eight hours. (or even more)
5. You can sleep in church.
6. You don't need to sleep after sleeping.
7. You don't have to pay for sleep.
8. You won't complain in the morning about not getting any.
9. No one will start rumors about how much you sleep.
10. You don't feel guilty about doing it alone.
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Posted: Dec 1, 2005 8:56pm
Top 10 rejection lines by women (and what they really mean)
Dec 1, 2005
10.(You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in "Deliverance.")
9. (You are one jurassic geezer.)
8. (You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes upon.)
7.(I don't want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I'm seeing.)
6.(who's really my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry's).
5. (Hey, bud, I wouldn't even date you if you were in the same solar system, much less the same building.)
4. (It's not me, it's you.)
3. (Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.)
2. (I've sworn off only the men like you.)
...and the number 1 rejection line given by women (and what it actually means)
1. (I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and have sex with. It's that male perspective thing)


1. 1. Let's be friends.
2. I'm celibate.
3. I'm concentrating on my career.
4. It's not you, it's me.
5. I don't date men where I work.
6. I've got a boyfriend
7. My life is too complicated right now.
8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way.
9. There's a slight difference in our ages.
10. I think of you as a brother.
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Posted: Dec 1, 2005 8:40pm

 
 
 
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Author

Katie G.
female, age 24, committed relationship
New Paris, IN, USA
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