This is an insightful commentary/criticism/insight into myself; a sort of think out loud...

It's not meant to question others' faith, it's not meant to be judgmental.  It's not meant to assume I know any better or any more than anyone else about the issue of religion, god and faith in our lives...

I don't know about you...but last night's CNN program, 'Compassion Forum', with Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton felt eerily uncomfortable to me...

I particularly felt a certain dis-ease with the two hosts; Campbell Brown and John Meacham and the questions they posed to the two candidates.  Surprising, to me, given the setting and circumstances, I felt less unsettled with the questions posed from the audience; consisting, it seemed to me, of a large number of evangelical Christians from various religious political action operations.

My reaction is a bit of a surprise for me.  

As most of you know, much of my thought and writing in recent months has centered on topics, issues and actions concerning compassion...I would have thought my reaction would have been more positive; that I would have wanted to know more about Clinton’s and Obama’s thoughts. 

I think my biggest criticism for myself about last night's forum is what I call the 'Santa Claus' nature of the questions and the discussion of god, religion, and faith. 

I, personally, do not discount the all encompassing mystery of that loving power which provides glimpses of itself, of its glory, of its selfless love and patience in every moment of our conscious existence; before, during and after we're gone.

But, I think, there was good reason we once seemed to more value a separation of church and state in our understanding of America's government and its political structure.  

Our leaders, our forefathers, were, yes, people of faith...mostly Christian faith; but, their faith was the 'driver' for their actions; it was their foundation for their 'backbone' as men;...not a rule set to be imposed politically on others because of their perceived rightness and belief in their own personal take on faith.

It bothers me, as conservative and fundamentalist ideas have become more open and prevalent; not only in this country, but around the world; the public nature of these opinions, ideas and the perceived need to schedule an event like last night's; comes from a desire, from those who believe in this way, to insert their understanding of their faith, their 'experience' of their own form of happiness, into the lives of others; in order to 'share' their joy; and, at the expense of others' faith which already provides them like comfort, happiness and joy from some slightly different perspective or viewpoint.

Then, the seeming correctness of these views of faith suddenly become (wrongly, I think) attached to political notions of democracy...the thinking being, the more who 'believe' in a particular way; the more 'right' they they must be in their views; and sadly, the more 'wrong' the minority's sense of belief and faith.  

I think the consequence, the prevalence of this view in America, narrows its place and standing in the world.  Carried to extremes, subsequently, we justify attacks, war, killing and violence in the name of our respective gods and in the fear that we might 'lose' our faith, our culture, our way of life...to a competing god, culture or way of life.

Over time, it’s religions that establish themselves from this kind of faith.  Religious institutions emerge; human institutions full of human frailty and error;...affecting individual's feelings with an air of righteousness; clinging to dogmatic rules and regulations which take hold and become traditions and ritual.  Religion becomes culture.  Suddenly, my Santa Claus is better than your Santa Claus...

Separating out religion from government; or, at least, trying to, has allowed our American society the ability to transform itself - like a chameleon - time and again, to the various changing mixes of cultures and forms of religion its immigrants have brought to it in its relative short history.  

The result...new ideas, new thought, re-invention, adapting to change...has moved this nation forward...it has attracted the attention of other nations who seemingly don't dare to 'experiment' in such ways politically with their ' people' and systems of government.  Is this what we looking to revert to?  I think not...  

I don't think we can have it any other way in America.  If we think we can redefine ourselves now with a system of government based on the limited beliefs and faiths of the overwhelming European countries/cultures we want to call our heritage; I think, we will fail.

Instead, I think, its time we allow the framework for our government to take its natural course; which, if we expand our current way of thinking, rather than limit it - and, I might argue, this is already happening - we accept, not fear, the 'strength' of our personal beliefs to include and absorb those from other lands, other cultures, other faiths; we will emerge even stronger, much more compassionate to the underlying 'truth' in our understanding and responsibility to each other and the 'Santa Claus' we inevitably all create in our individual minds...

John Torcello

4/14/08

©2008 John Torcello

All Rights Reserved.

..."You go into some of these small towns in Pennsylvania, and like a lot of small towns in the Midwest, the jobs have been gone now for 25 years and nothing's replaced them,"...

..."And it's not surprising then they (the people) get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations,"...

Later, he said:

..."When I go around and I talk to people there is frustration and there is anger and there is bitterness,"...They're frustrated and for good reason. ... They've seen their economies collapse. They have lost their jobs. They have lost their pensions."

...(I'm) "Out of touch? Out of touch?"...

Barack Obama

*****

True distinctions between the three candidates seem to be actually emerging:

"The belief that certain persons or members of certain classes or groups deserve favored treatment by virtue of their perceived superiority, as in intellect, social status, or financial resources."

In descending order; I ask you, in your mind, list the three candidates by whom you think would agree most with the above statement to the least.  (It’s actually the definition for ‘elitist’ ).

*****

Then, I ask you to consider for yourself, who's lying to whom?, 

Who is on the stump telling people what they ‘want’ to hear?

Who, is being the most truthful? 

Who is protecting their audience's feelings at the expense of truth; 

offering themselves as the people’s 'savior'?  

Who's blowing the most smoke up people's 'you-know-whats'?...

*****

Elitist: "...someone who believes in rule by an elite group"

"Pennsylvania doesn't need a president who looks down on them,"... "They need a president who stands up for them, who fights for them, who works hard for your futures, your jobs, your families."...

Hillary Clinton

Elitist: “...the sense of entitlement enjoyed by such a group or class.”

RE Obama's comments: "remarkable and extremely revealing."..."It shows an elitism and condescension toward hard-working Americans that is nothing short of breathtaking,"..."It is hard to imagine someone running for president who is more out of touch with average Americans."

Steve Schmidt, Senior Advisor to John McCain

*****

Ponder the above, and see where you fall...

Then, Do nothing at all.

Just leave it simply as it is...

Live out your own life responsibly and for the benefit of others...

Consider which candidate will do the same...

John Torcello

4/12/08

©2008 John Torcello

All Rights Reserved.

The testimony given, the cameras, the questions asked.....

...Is it really possible to see the ‘actual state of things, as they are’ ?

...Do you see, do you feel, any ‘will’, any leadership, any insight, 

      any commitment, any desire to try?

...Shouldn’t you feel the need to come to some true perspective on the reality 

in which you live?...

Neuroses...

a functional disorder prompted by delusion

arising from no apparent objective evidence

dominates the personality

with a degree of social or interpersonal maladjustment

feelings of excessive anxiety

irrational fears 

indecision

obsessional thoughts

exhibits itself through

compulsive acts 

physical complaints 

...Wrong views, wrong convictions....

...Functional disorder, dominating thought, anxiety, compulsive acts...

...Believing without question, acting out...

...Bringing pain and suffering onto ourselves...onto those around you...

*******

Aren’t these signs of things not working?

...of having taken the the wrong path?; failed approaches, 

  a need for open re-assessment, a change in course, 

  real applied changes?... 

Are we, as a nation, doomed to ineffectiveness and despair?  

*******

Is the best you can hope for in your life, in this current time and place, just a running of the race, staying ahead of the pack and not letting others catch you until you die?

Do you profess a ‘circle the wagons’ mentality?; look for others of like minds to yours?, wrap yourself in a cocoon and hope to find refuge there?; Oblivious to anyone else’s plight except your own?

********

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no...

...a million+ times...No !

It’s 3:00am!...seems like it’s 3:00am always now !? 

Don’t we each have the means?; not just as a system of government in which we take pride; 

but, as unique individuals empowered with freedom and freewill to do something about it?

...Or, is this all just my own 'neuroses'?

Are YOU going to answer that call?....

John Torcello

4/10/08

©2008 John Torcello

All Rights Reserved.

As the Senate testimony of General Petraeus proceeds today... 

As he and our representatives argue the continuation of the war in Iraq and the war planning and justifications for an upcoming attack on Iran...

It is important, I think, to know and understand there are alternatives; other than the 'certainty' of not if, but when belligerent conflict should begin...as seems to be the case before us today in Congress...

********

Thank you, Joan Halifax Roshi...

Roshi has recently had an article published in the current issue of Tricycle magazine about the 'Challenge about Death and Dying'.

Here are the questions she poses... 

1) What/How is the way in which you most fear dying?

2) How you would want to die, if you were granted your choice?

3) What are you willing to do in order to die the way you want to?

We can choose to ignore these questions in our lives.  

Or, we can attempt to ' pass' on what, I think, is our purpose, our responsibility... addressing these questions in our lives...choosing not to from a perspective of fear; by arguing that our 'faith', through the notion that the answers to these questions are controlled by a higher entity, a powerful being, our creator, his plan, etc...that the nature of these questions is something outside ourselves, beyond us; something we cannot control.

I think not... 

I think these are indeed important questions for each of us as individuals to ponder, to consider; and, at some point in our respective lives; commit to and address separately and individually, given the nature, the fact, of the 'certainty' of our lives and our own deaths.  

By choosing to face up to these questions individually, choosing not to ignore them; not passing our responsibility for them to our notions of god and his plan; instead, working through them for ourselves; committing responsibly to our chosen (free will) approach to living out our respective lives...

...Within the confines of the 'uncertainty' of when - the actual time and place we will each indeed experience our death - I would submit, is within the scope of this god, this creator...

But, we each have the means to affect the experience of the circumstances and quality of 'HOW' we live out our temporal lives...the quality of how we die.

Contemplate these questions as if you were the victim of our war making:

1) What/How is the way in which you most fear dying?

2) How you would want to die, if you were granted your choice?

3) What are you willing to do in order to die the way you want to?

We do not have to continue to kill.  We do not have to go to war.  We can stop this.

If we so choose.

John Torcello

4/8/08

©2008 John Torcello

All Rights Reserved.

http://www.upaya.org/roshi/

Joan Halifax Roshi is a Buddhist teacher, Zen priest, anthropologist, and author. She is Founder, Abbot, and Head Teacher of Upaya Zen Center, a Buddhist monastery in Santa Fe, New Mexico.

She has worked in the area of death and dying for over thirty years and is Director of the Project on Being with Dying. For the past twenty-five years, she has been active in environmental work.

She is a Founding Teacher of the Zen Peacemaker Order, her work and practice for more than three decades has focused on engaged Buddhism.

"We shall not cease from exploration 

  And the end of all our exploring 

  Will be to arrive where we started 

  And know the place for the first time"

T.S. Eliot

I've found in taking a closer look at my quest that my usual approach in the past was to find a puzzling idea or emotion for me and ' push' at it, verbally and mentally, until it pushed back at me in some manner.  

Often then, that sense of some sort of ' push back' was satisfaction enough; because it implied to me some thought, some feedback or some action may have occurred as a result of my prompting.  It carried with it a sort of 'impish' grin of sarcasm.

Over time though, I've found I've moved away from this more or less confrontational approach.  I've found it more interesting to continue to ' push' at triggering ideas and emotions of mine; but, I no longer seek the reaction per se, the response - pro or con, is far less important to me; if, at all.

To be sure, certain objects, events, people and places still conjure up questions and concerns for me.  The wonderment and satisfaction that come for me now, however, is in the 'surprise'; the unexpected outcomes I hadn't considered.

By letting these stimulations just 'be' in my mind, it's amazing how often a certain clarity in understanding eventually comes to me that didn't before.  I realize more often than not that my 'dis'-ease of the past was largely of my own making...

And, even after all the considerations, if I still find the need to react; my subsequent actions now are more grounded, better rooted in the degree of my understanding of truth I'm able to comprehend at the time.  

As Eliot says, after all our exploring, we may ultimately return to the place where we started; knowing it again as if the first time...

But, I think, using the ‘beginner’s mind’ we’re afforded, we can change the way we experience that place upon our return to it; we can address what and how we know, what we do, through these seemingly new ‘first time’, yet familiar, ‘deja vu’ like situations.

John Torcello

4/7/08

©2008 John Torcello

All Rights Reserved.

It’s quiet...the sounds that remain surrounding me are still there yet muted, more and more unattracting my attention...

My mouth is closed.  Not tightly...lips gently pressed together.  My tongue is calm and settled in my mouth, behind the teeth, where it seems to belong.

My eyes are closed...lids relaxed, their view pointed slightly downward as if there was indeed something there to see.

My head leans ever so slightly downward...

The rest of my body feels planted.  Not leaning right, not left, not forward, not backward...just there!...in the center...balanced.

My mind begins to calm, to quiet.  The flurry and number of thoughts passing by decreases; and more and more of them that arise simply pass through like a parade of ideas.  

I can feel and hear the air entering and exhaling out my nose.  The nature and quality of each breath changes as they continue...

At first, the breaths seem shallow; only proceeding down to the top of my lungs...I spend more moments, more breaths, moving toward the focused consciousness of this process...leaving the noise of my mind behind.  

The breaths grow deeper; or, so it seems...they go now to the bottom of my lungs...My nostrils seem to have grown larger allowing a greater capacity of air in and out.  I imagine, or do I feel?, the breaths extending now down past the lungs...through the stomach...eventually all the way down to where I’m physically planted, balanced.

I feel muscles throughout the rest of my body begin to let go, to relax, loosen...some muscles I didn’t even realize were clenched, tight, and hard release...

Sometimes I can hear my heartbeat.

During the process, I’m interrupted...a noise grabs my attention away, a smell, a tactile sensation...often, a thought does the same...my ‘to do’ list tries to move me forward to time and moments yet to occur in the future; at least a future my mind wants to imagine and envision.

I come back...gently...over and over again...let the ‘to do’ list wait...back to the breath...This goes on until a sense of time is released too.  

When I first started, calming for only a few seconds without interruption took a great number of trials and errors...sort of like life, I think.  Later, with continued practice, the periods of release and calm...focusing on the breath became longer...or, so it seems.  

Eventually, aspects of this process I’ve described began to appear in brief glimpses, moments, of what we like to label as ‘real life’.  It became a place to go - for even brief moments - a reference point...to find my footing again...my balance again.  

This practice, this reference point, I think, helps make those problems that remain into personal challenges; challenges into opportunities, the seemingly impossible into possible;...little piece by piece...