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Jan 23, 2013

When we lose a spouse it feels like life has stopped.  Everyone tells you that you must go on.  You certainly don't feel like it. My husband passed away on May 22, 2007.  He died in my arms at home.  The experience was horrific and for me the horror had just begun.We knew he was dying and he had made me promise that I would go on and be happy.  It has been 5 years now and I can finally say that I am happy.  I miss him terribly but I have found strength I didn't know I had.  My youngest daughter was in college at the time of her fathers death.  She was scheduled to come home for the summer that night.  She had decided to stay for one extra day and to this day feels guilty that she wasn't home.  My youngest(son) was home since he was a senior in high school.  This experience has created a bond between us but was very difficult for him to go through.  He literally watched his father die.  I have to praise the EMT's from Owego, NY.  A couple of them stayed long after to make sure we were going to be okay. I found out shortly after his passing that our government has no use for young widows.  I was 45 at the time and disabled. When Tom passed away his income stopped.  Because I was not 50 I could not receive his social security.  To add insult to injury we ended up losing our home because of this. I was still fighting to get my disability and so we were left with no income.  I tell this so that women out there know you can survive and be a stronger woman after this.  I miss my husband every day but I know he is in a better place.  Each day that goes by I learn that I can be happy again and that it is okay to be. When I get down I think about what he would tell me if he could.  He would say "Linda get off your butt and live".  I am honoring his memory everyday that I am happy and living.
 

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Posted: Jan 23, 2013 7:19pm

 

 
 
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Linda R.
, 1, 3 children
Dorchester, MA, USA
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