my care2
make a difference

community & fun

shares

share your passions, stories, inspirations, and more

God, Satan And The Creation of HMOs
May 31, 2008
Laughter is one of the best medicines, so laugh a little.

God & Satan In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives. Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?" And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled. And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14. So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast. God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof. God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food." God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds. Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds. God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest. God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery. Then Satan created HMOs.
(1) | () | | send green star | flag as inappropriate
Visibility: Everyone
Tags: ,
Posted: May 31, 2008 4:38pm

 
 
 
Content and comments expressed here are the opinions of Care2 users and not necessarily that of Care2.com or its affiliates.

Author

Rabbit R.
female, age 43, single
Columbia, WA, USA
Shares by Type:
All (699) | Blog (8) | Alert (22) | Top 10 List (38) | Recipe (250) | Tribute (9) | Message (372)

Showing shares tagged with: funny [show all]
ads keep care2 free
SHARES FROM RABBIT'S NETWORK
Nov
28
by Road L.
(0 comments  |  discussions )
"Miscarriage reports from pregnant women who have taken the H1N1 swine flu vaccine are starting to pour in from all over the nation. Vaccines and pregnancy simply do not mix safely. In fact, the package inserts for the swine flu vaccines actually say...
Nov
26
(3 comments  |  discussions )
If you want to write a petition here at Care2 please specify your Target. For example: Target Keith Peters North Carolina Zoo Then name your Sponsor: Barb Knight Of course "why" you're petitoning needs to be strong as well: I am petitioning becau...
by Mari B.
(0 comments  |  discussions )
Africa's Witch Children (1 of 5) Aired November 23, 2009 on C4 - Play all videos: http://bit.ly/7oRQHQ - A year ago, Dispatches told the story of how children in Africa's Niger Delta were being denounced by Christian pastors as ...http://www.care2....
Nov
25
(0 comments  |  discussions )
Happy Thanksgiving... Nov 25, 2009 fetching data...     Happy Thanksgiving...     & nbsp;   &n bsp;   May it be healthy, nutritious, loving, and pleasant for all...   ...
(0 comments  |  discussions )
    Happy Thanksgiving...     & nbsp;   &n bsp;   May it be healthy, nutritious, loving, and pleasant for all...     & nbsp;    God Bless... &nbs...
(0 comments  |  discussions )
Sean Goldman is still in Brazil! Please make sure that you have signed the petition demanding the return of this child to his father. Currently, the petition has over 55,000 signatures but needs as much support as possible. click here Also, please v...
(3 comments  |  discussions )
The author is Professor Robert Watson of Lynn University who was once a writer for the New York Times. Professor Watson writes: Hi friends, I am always being asked to grade Obama's presidency. In place of offering him a grade, I put togethe...
Nov
22
(3 comments  |  discussions )
You probably won't hear anything in the news about this anniversary until the 50th is reached. However, I realized that it is significant in the fact that Kennedy was forty-six years old at the time of his death. For those who were alive and old en...
Nov
21
by Road L.
(0 comments  |  discussions )
"Payne Creek Village is like many subdivisions - speed-bump-quietened roads with names such as Quail Run, Fawn Lane and Mallard Drive. A brick entrance monument greets visitors adjacent to the management office. By the numbers Cost Comparis...
by Road L.
(0 comments  |  0 discussions )
"As the residential market continues to grapple with the current recession, the manufactured housing market seems to be going through a cycle all its own – a cycle that experts say is outperforming its site built home sibling....." Source an...

Copyright © 2009 Care2.com, inc. and its licensors. All rights reserved