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May 18, 2011
I must share my story with Care 2 as it is very important to me & hope it will help others who ever find themself in my same healthcare nightmare. I am mentally disabled as I have Bi-Polar disorder,ADD & a paranoid personallity disorder. I also have extreme panic disorder. To be clear on paranoid this does not mean I think people are out to get me & no I do not see things that are not there unless I become very manic. I am also physically ill with Arthritis,stess induced IBS (irritable bowel syndrome). I am 38 years old and have been ill over half my life. Recently I had to be hospitalized & the story I am writing is all true. On April 14th I went for my appointment at The Mental Health Center I have been going to off & on since 1989. I was there to see my counciler Heather whom I loved to death. I was a bit manic that day due to sresses beyond my control. She called a Doctor into the room who is no longer my phyciatrist and she was writing commitment papers so fast & she would not listen to anything I said. Next thing I knew a armed security guard was at the door. I was seated and shook my head no in disbelif. He said to me you can go the easy way or the hard way. I got up trying to explain I could not take the stairs. I did not have a choice. He said to me I could just fall on him. I told him I would love to do that. I was faint after the flight & was not allowed to sit a moment as my legs were coming out from under me. I was placed inside a van with this same armed man & I am pretty hysterical. The driver drove so fast my head was smashed on the bar behind me and on the window beside me. I commented why were they driving like lunitics this was not an ambulance? I got ridculed. The took me to the state run hospital. I would not sign to be teated there as my mother died inside that hospital on my birthday 7/18/06. My family had no idea where I was and the police were contacted to no avail. My potassium was dangerusly low and I had to be placed on a heart monitor. I have nothing on but a gown that is not tied at the bottom. I was waitin on an ambulance to take me to Monroe I was told? The next morning after crying myself out I awoke inside the same room minus a heart monitor & wrapped at the crook of my arm where during the night they drew more blood. I had to use the bathroom very bad & I thought to myself I better get up in case they think I am dead in here. I am going to use my humor here now. I get up with my bottom out to go to the bathroom & I hear laughing. They think this is funny Ok. We'll see how funny I can make this. I use the bathroom drink some more potassium with this diet,cold brekfast they put on my tray. After I finished the male nurse said I had to clean my tray off. Did I know where the trash can was. How could I forget I had been sitting right next to it the day before. The back doors are open my bottom is showing and I need both hands to push the cart. I push it & everyone is laughing. Except me of course see because I am beyond angry! I am throwing my stuff in the trash & an Angel from behind me says..Ya'll can't do her like this. I turn & thank her as she tied me.  I had to put my tray back & two armed bounty hunter looking types were racing to get out the back, I accidentlly cut them off!(NOT) I said I am so sorry & I pushed past as they rushed out the back. I told them at the hospital that was no mistake BTW. Now I know you may be thinking well she needed help. I did indeed but see once you have been committed you may act as crazy as they think you are. When I get sick I do not loose my intellect,my sense of humor & I do not forget either! I have never been arrested but going into a phyciatric hospital is much like that. You better know how to take care of yourself or you can get hurt. I needed to be hositalized that is not the point off my story. My abulance came & they asked if I needed any help to get inside? Now I am 5 feet mothin & weighed 138  I said no & grabbed the bar and pounded my way inside,signed my name perfectly & off we went. This was not my first hospitalization but this hopspital was the largest. Housed about 26 men & women. I learned things their about Tracey as this hospital is a Behavior Health Unit where you see a medical doctor & a phyciatrist.  It was a hard 13 days but I leaned I have to be my own BFF & saying no is Okay. I also learned that I can not save the world Dang it! Jesus found me too as this was not the first time he has saved my life. I wrote this also because I learned that when you are stressed Read it, Write it, Sing it! No pity allowed as I am a blessed woman as I just found out I am going to be a Grandma! YEAH! I hope this helped even one person as it did me. I get a check on the 3rd of the month & I am on medicare,medicaid & a PDP thank the Lord or how would I get all me medicine? I make 727.00 am I not blessed?  You bet I am!
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Posted: May 18, 2011 8:11am


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Tracey O.
, 3, 1 child
Alex, AA, USA
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