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Feb 15, 2008

Believe again~

I really miss someone sweet  to kiss,
someone close and loving..

I miss the hugs I never got, but gave

so freely and truly.

And now, as I open my heart to

try.... I don't know why....or  how to

accept them, without wondering

what's the catch?

The giver, who now wishes  to

receive....

And the giver, now realizes, that

there  are people who would

decieve..

And that now, makes it hard to be

vulnerable.

And confusing to  know that there

are things not easy to  percieve.

I miss the hugs, the kind I give... I

miss the kisses...that I have known..

And now I am angry at me....

Because, I am afraid to let go, and

be hurt again.

This, .....is .....stifling me...I want to

feel more ....

More trusting.

More believing.

Less, questioning in my mind..

Knowing...just knowing that,

someday down the line.  There will

be someone, who will have the

patience to help me to trust again...

That would be just fine!
Someone to be just mine.

No tricks, no schemes,
No lies, no cheats,
No conning, coniving,

I'm open to that.
So I thought.

Now, I realize that I have deeper

wounds, then I ever realized before.

I just thank heaven, that I still have

room in my heart, for someone to

still care for.

Oh, why are there such games out

there.  Story's and lies , just to get

whatever.

What ever happened to feelings?

What ever happened to looking for

tomorrows.

Why jump in and take it all at once?

Why not enjoy the moments?

Why not enjoy the different

feelings?

Holding hands, caressing a face..
Smiling at each other.
.
Just being....quietly together...
Feeling safe in each other's arms.
Knowing there will come no harm.

Although I miss what was taken

from me...
I have not a broken

spirit..just a wee damaged....

and it can be healed ....
by the right one...at the right time....and the

right place.

I was thinking this...

I must
I must
I must not distrust...

Relax...
Deep breathe..

But then, of course,  I must not

allow any harm to come to me.

Such wonderings.

Deep Breathe...

Breathe in.....hold it....

Breathe out....

Relax.

Believe again.


by jandi (c) 2008
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Posted: Feb 15, 2008 8:17pm

 

 
 
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jandi SOFTWINGS D.
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Burbank, CA, USA
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