Racism is like a slow disease that spreads throughout the body and affects all parts whether the whole body realizes it or not. As a nation, we are that diseased body, and have been since the beginning, and it will not stop until we all come together to bring about change.

            There is a local organization called Building Bridges that is working diligently for that change through 9-week sessions using dialog and awareness as the bridge between blacks and whites. Last night I attended the first of this nine-week session. They have already done 28 of these session groups. I was quite impressed with their deep commitment.

            There are about 80 of us in this session. The first hour we are together, and the second half we break into small groups to discuss the topic of the week. Last night’s topic was “honoring our diversity”. We were shown a video on a study that the show 60 Minutes did years ago regarding racism. The video showed us two young men that are equal in every area of their life. They both have a great education; middle class; great personalities; and they are known to be hard workers. The only difference is the color of their skin. They were asked to go to find housing and jobs with a camera attached to them. The treatment they received from the same people was quite obviously different. Over and over again racism show up in so many ways throughout this video. This video only shows a small fraction of what a minority person experiences on a day-to-day basis.

            Unless we are a minority or involved with a minority most of us do not even have a clue about the feeling of discrimination in our life. It wasn’t until I adopted my children who are biracial did I even begin to feel this in my life. I was very naïve and believe that racism did not exist in our country anymore since the civil rights movement. So when we were asked to adopt our children, we gladly accepted, and didn’t even think that race would be an issue.

            In the 16 years since I have adopted my children, race has become quite forefront in my mind. I have become aware of how people treat my children when they are with me versus when they are not with me. I have watched teachers change their attitudes about my kids when they see that they have a white mother, and I have watched my children as young adults not get the same treatment or opportunities as a young white adult.

            I have also experienced a lot of racism from the African American community against me in regards to my children. Some of my children have been told that I am not their real mother because I am white. One woman even told my daughter to leave me so she can raise her properly. I have been harassed, looked at in strange ways, and pushed away when I have tried to raise my children with more diversity. One of my daughter’s has been told by her African American boyfriend that she should not have anything to do with us because we are white.

            So yes, my life has been more directly affected by racism than a majority of whites, but the truth is we are all affected. Whether we are taught to be afraid of someone or we treat someone different because of the color of their skin , we are not acting from our true nature. As long as there is no equality than there will always be a nation of exploiter and prey. In order to know true peace and have true freedom, we must all feel safe and welcomed. Immaual Kant who was a philosopher in 1700s said “ Every man is to be respected as an absolute end in himself; and it is a crime against the dignity that belongs to him as a human being to use him as a mere means for some external purpose”.

            We can see that our society has become a place of seeing others as a way to achieve the intended goal. This thinking not only allows for racism to exist but it creates an empty society of people using each other for their own desires. I believe that it is important to take the step towards a greater and healthier society, and Building Bridges has some great tools to get there.

According to Webster, Intuition is ‘direct perception of truth, fact, etc, independent of any reasoning processes; immediate apprehension’

Einstein also tells us that his genius comes from his irrational mind.

So whether we are a genius like Einstein or someone else, we all have and use Intuition. Now why we are not so confident with it is another question.

Our culture emphasizes the logical thinking over the intuitive thinking because it has been necessary over the ages to think logically. We go to school, we learn that it is important to know things; we are told how to think. Logical thinking is active thinking, whereas Intuitive thing is receptive thinking. We can get by in life without receptive thinking, but not without active thinking. So we emphasize cultivating really great logical thinking, and ignoring things that don’t make sense. It is as is we have been exercising our left arm (logical), lifting weights, using it completely, but not believing that the right arm (intuitive) is of any use. So now we have a beautiful firm, strong left arm where everyone can see it and appreciate it, but since we and others do not value the right arm, it doesn’t matter if it lays there limp and of little use. We simply keep strengthening the left more and more.

Every once in a while the right arm pops up with full strength, and we either are amazed at it or discount it as insignificant. This is what we do with our intuitive thinking.

We have become so accustomed as a society to look lopsided that we are not even noticing that we are not thinking with our whole self. We either see intuition as something flaky or something that we do not have or even really need.

What I have seen over the years is that everyone has intuitive stories, but because it wasn’t a big bang, it went hiding in our memory bank.

So the question is why is intuition important, and how can it help us in our practical day-to-day life.

I believe Intuition is important because it helps us to become clearer in not only who we are, but who others are as well. Intuition can be used along with logic to come up with solutions, it can be used to understand from many angles, and it can even be used to tap into new ideas, hidden talents, and a deeper self. Integrating intuition with logic can certainly make life more enjoyable, more enriched, more directed, and a great adventure. Our logical mind can only take us to certain places of understanding and intuition can take us to other places of understanding, together, life can feel more whole.

There are many ways to exercise (cultivate) our intuition. One way that I find helpful is when I am making a decision. I first sit with and feel the various solutions. How does each solution feel? I then think out the logical solutions to see which seems the best. I then see if the two can come together as a creative solution. Or if my intuitive feels matches the logical choice, I just then go with that. If it doesn’t match, I then look for other solutions until the two sit well together. We often think out logical solutions or just go with the feelings without really putting the two together. Each of the thinking processes really cannot show the whole picture when it stands alone. They are both only showing us one way to see it, which is why it is important to learn to think through both processes.

I would love to hear from you, and your stories of whole brain thinking.

            Our Country prides itself on its individualism. It is true that it has been set up with personal liberties and justice for all. Now whether we have the amount of liberties that we think we have, and whether we have justice for all is definitely up for debate.

            What I want to address is a different matter all together, but does affect ourselves as US citizens, and that is whether we as individuals are utilizing our individualism fully in our lives or have we become hamsters that go around on the hamster wheel every day doing the same thing as others or the same thing as we did the day before?

            As long as we do not feel that it is important to live as true individuals in our daily life, then personal liberties can slowly slip away without even being noticed, and we become to sluggish to stand up for ourselves or fight for what we believe.

            Now some do not believe that our personal behavior has anything to do with politics or making a difference, but it does it some interesting ways. You may ask, how is that? Well, it seems that when someone thinks really outside the box or does behavior that is not “ normal”, then others put them in unpleasant categories or tries to unconsciously pressure them into behaving and thinking like others.

I will share a few of my stories in being an individual, and I hope that you can reflect on your own to see that this does happen. When we know that it happens then we can stay even stronger in our real individuality even if others cannot understand it. To me that is true liberty. To be a prisoner of categories, and to behave accordingly does not seem free at all. And I am not talking about antisocial behavior; I am talking about behaving from your personal uniqueness.

One day this past summer I went to one of the music events downtown. There were at least a couple hundred people they’re listening to the music. Only one person was dancing, and they definitely did not care. I love to dance so I started dancing too, and some friends came up around me, and as we started talking, they made comment as to whether I was drunk or not, because I looked like I was having a really good time.

I don’t drink, and said so, they seemed confused as to my behavior. If I had not been working on not getting peer pressured my whole life, that would have definitely quieted me down, and had me standing on the sidelines listening the same way the other two hundred people were doing. I know that not everyone likes to dance, but I certainly believe that there are more than two of us out of two hundred that do. So why didn’t others dance? Because they would look foolish or drunk, and foolish and public drunken behavior are not acceptable. So the ones that wanted to dance gave up their individualism for the acceptance of others.

You might say, well that is with odd social behavior, but we have complete individualism with our thinking and ideas? Do we really have individualism there? We have subcultures within our culture that accept various ideas when you are within those subculture. Try leaving your subculture into another, and share your ideas with those in the group outside your own. What responses to you really get.

It seems that if we really did celebrate individualism in our Country then new ideas outside of subgroups would be appreciated. I have personally experienced this discrimination a lot throughout my life.

What seems to happen to those of us who might really have strong individualistic ideas or behaviors, and in my opinion is everyone, is we suppress it for our public audience so that we can be socially respected. Now do you think that is true liberty, or have we become gerbils on the wheel going round and round in behaviors to get the approval that is necessary to live in this society.

            And gerbils on a wheel going round and round seems like a true inward prison of sorts.

            What it would take for us to change that behavior, is to really take a look at our own life, and see if we are really living as an individual or are we caught in the wheel, and how can we do both so that we can be a part of the whole, while being an individual, and not be a prisoner of peer pressure.

            Peer pressure is not only for kids at school, we are all exposed to it one way or another.

There are currently over half a million children in the foster care system in the United States today. On average, a child who enters care will remain in foster care for 32 months, and only about half will return to their parents. Of the remaining half 49,000 children get adopted, and 118,000 remain in the “system” waiting adoption. Of which many of them will never experience. Most of the US orphan kids will be moved from foster home to foster home until they are 18 years old, and then they are simply on their own without ever having a real family that they can turn to. Some of these children have such poor social skills that they end up in group homes until 18 years old, then they are let out, and on their own to figure out how to survive with the little social skills they had in the first place.

The term orphan has been banished from our US language because orphans usually refer to children that are in orphanages, and we have the foster care system instead. However, our children are still orphans because they have no real family, and are waiting to be adopted by a family, but now they are less invisible to the public eye since they are tucked away neatly into foster homes.

When I was 25 years old, I was very involved with the foster “system”, I was married, and together for 3 years we fostered 17 children, and at 28 years old, we adopted 5 children with various levels of challenges. We were on the foster care review board, along with the foster parent association. The lack of concern and apathy that we saw from the community is similar to what I am seeing today in regards to our countries orphans. I will hear many people ask, “isn’t it hard to adopt children from the US”? It is only difficult if you only want a newborn, white baby. Most of children that are awaiting adoption are older and minority.

There were two main excuses that we heard from others on why they were not interested in becoming foster parents. At the time we were living near Sedona, AZ. We had one foot in the foster “system”, and the other in Sedona thinking. Sedona had a high rate of abused children that needed foster homes, and when we would ask our friends to help, they would simply say that they did not want to get involved with the system. Yet they seemed perfectly willing to drive on government roads. So if very few want to get involved with “our” children, then who will?

Another common reason that we heard often was that , they were afraid to get their heart’s broken when the children left. Yes, Our hearts did get broken a few times, and at other times we were really ready for them to leave, but we were not foster parents for our own selves. We were foster parents because we felt that it was our responsibility to help “our countries orphans”.

It has been a while since I have been a foster parent, and some ask me, would I do it the same all over again? The answer is absolutely. Not only have I been given the opportunity to touch at least 23 children’s lives, but also they have touched my life in ways that I could not have imagined or created for my self. The person that I needed to become to stand up to the plate for their needs, instead of only considering my own, has affected me in ways that I will always be grateful for.

So if you are feeling a bit of a calling to make a difference for “our” orphans”, then please consider being a foster or adoptive parent. And a very important thing to know is not to do it alone. Get the support and training right from the beginning so that the pain and suffering these children have endured don’t become your personal pain and suffering. There are support groups available, along with lots of training. And if you don’t feel called to work with the children, remember that the ones that are certainly can use our loving support.

            Many years ago I was eating lunch with my large family in a local restaurant. We were a large family because my then husband and I adopted 5 children between the ages of 1 through 5 years old. Our family did stand out a bit when we were in public since all 5 were all close in age and we are a multiracial family. Fortunately for us our children behaved fairly well in restaurants so the attention we seem to receive was not negative.

            When we were done and ready to leave we asked our server for the check, she said not to worry about it because someone else paid the bill and chose to remain anonymous. We were quite surprised that someone was so kind to pay our lunch bill for a family of seven, and to remain anonymous on top of that. Wow, I was quite impressed with such generosity and vowed from that point on to give in small ways when the opportunities arose to do so.

            Fortunately opportunities arise all the time. Last week I was standing in line for a movie with my father, and as I was paying for the two of us when I noticed the woman behind us was alone so I paid for her ticket too. She was so shocked she almost didn’t accept it. When she finally received the gift being offered to her, her walk and stance seemed to appear lighter and happier. It is true that we all like to receive gifts in our life. That is why some holidays were created. So in being a regular small gift giver in life can have a huge impact on the whole.

 Although Winston Churchill would not have been considered genuinely giving in the sense that I am talking about, I believe he said something profound when he said        “ We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.” When we think about what he said it really makes sense. Have you ever met someone who does really well in their field of work, they contribute only what is necessary to get what they want in terms of recognition, success, and money, but they don’t give more than that? Do they seem warm hearted and their life feels genuinely full of love? I have even seen over the years people volunteering out of a need for recognition and duty, and wondered how genuine is the giving. I have also been one of those myself that have given out of a sense of duty and need, and I can tell you that I was feeling a little resentful or burdened by that situation.

            When I am talking about giving to others, I am talking about the kind of giving that does not get rewarded in any way. Doing things for others that might put you out a little but they add a whole lot for another person, such as offering to drive someone that could use it; buying a meal, a movie ticket, a coffee; even giving a compliment to someone, are some of the ways that can make a huge difference in someone else’s life and has little trouble if any on yours.

            When I was growing up my grandmother always told me to be kind to people because they might be having a low day, and that I might say or do one thing that can make a difference in their life. I watched her bring smiles and laughter on to hundreds of peoples faces, and longed to be as good as her when I grew up. Even though she has passed on many years ago, old neighbors that knew her still speak so highly about her giving nature. She might not have made a great living, but she certainly had a great life, according to Winston Churchill’s philosophy.

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Using dreams to guide our life

Even as a child I was fascinated with understanding people from a deeper perspective. My grandmother "read" a regular deck of cards and would get together with all the neighborhood women, and give them readings. She said it was just for fun, and that she didn't really believe in it. The neighborhood women later told me that she was amazingly accurate, and they had no idea how. I begged my grandmother from 9 years old on until I was twelve to teach me how to read the cards. She said I was too young, and that she would teach me at twelve.

At twelve I learned about the cards. I played around with them with friends and continued " goofing" around with them until I met my former husband at 23 years old. he encouraged me to read them professionally and connected me with a woman who became very excited about what I did. I later quit using cards, and currently I use only my intuition to help others.

In the beginning days, I came from a belief that we were all fated, and it was for me to receive what others fate was set up for them.

I have since come to believe that our future is based on our current belief system, and that we have free will.

So if someone subconsciously believes that life is hard and that they have to struggle so much in order to have any happiness, then that is what their future will be. Not anything that is different than their subconscious belief system.

So I now use intuition to help others become more conscious and aware of what is really within them. If we can see what is within our own selves than we can affect our future outcome.

Dreams can be an important aspect of this work.

There are many types of dreams that we have each day. Some dreams are simply emotional stress dreams, others are disjointed thoughts, and still others can be guidance from our own soul.

Often when I have a dilemma that I need clarity on, I ask before I go to sleep that I receive clarity through a dream. I find this is easier because my rational mind is out of the way, and I get the answer straight from my soul.

I also have to affirm that I will remember the dream, and understand the answer.

There have been times in my life that I have asked, and in the middle of the night I awake with a knowingness that I received the answer, but I have no memory of the dream or the answer.;

Since then I have learned that it is important to be specific with what you want to experience; and that is to wake u[p with the memory of the dream, and the knowingness of the answer within the dream.

There are many times that I have to ask the question over and over again before I have clarity. So it is important to be patient.

There are many philosophies that tell us that we dream in symbols. I have seen this to be true at times, and other times I have experienced dreams to be quite literal.

I have also found that symbols mean different things for different people. Swimming in a lake for one person might mean they are swimming in their emotions, but for another person, it might mean that water is important for them.

Others can help us to understand our own dream a little better, but really we are the only opens who really "know" what our dream is about. We just have to dive a little deeper within ourselves to understand more. Because we are the true receivers of our own direction in life, No one really is any better at "knowing and receiving" for us than our own self.

So by asking questions and using your dreams for the answers, you will find that you can see aspects within yourself that you had no idea existed.

And the truth of who you are will set you free to experience the life that you are meant to live.