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Dec 15, 2011

just listen is what i tell  myself so often. and i have more often than that asked GOD to just whack me upside the head because i miss ALOT of clues and signs. let it goooo and quit picking it back up again, is what i tell myself about my worries.

and thank you GOD for your blessings and care. thank you angels for divine intervention into my soul. thank you earth spirits for your bundled up care. thank you great light for bringing me peace in my life. thank you to all who bring me wisdom. and i must remember to cherish the anxiety as it has stopped me from speaking until the answer is here.

the answer to me for yesterday's dilema is so pure, so simple, so absolute, that i am again humbled to my knees at the power of prayer. the answer is THE LIGHT. you see, THAT IS GOD. i am secure in the knowledge that when, if ever, the time comes, words will be given that will assist, cause, touch, the person's journey. the path taken is still up to them with no judgement given.

just, again, to me, DON'T PICK IT UP AND WORRY AGAIN. more worries will come in time. sometimes piling up, sometimes spread out. by the mighty grace of GOD i will survive once more.

when i slept, the dreams were crazy but recalled and rethought. i could make no sense of the intertwined tv show criminal minds and a great forest. upon waking it made think..what in the world is all this!?!...yet with my waking, a calmness was already in me, and snowflakes in a darkening sky and a jingling that kept going and a peaceful log house that sat by itself on a snowy plain, with yellow lights in each of two windows and white smoke rising from the chimney. there were no tracks of any kind...but a horse and some type of old sleigh were in the distance but coming. i don't know if anyone was in there or if i went in. i just woke some time after all that. as i sat wondering why i would remember such a dream, and feeling the calm and seeing/hearing these other things...the answer LIGHT was there. not THE  LIGHT, just LIGHT. and i knew this was grace and peace. the things i had asked all explained somehow, someway, all wrapped up in this one absolute word, LIGHT.

so even though this is written for me to digest, it is freely given for any to read. and if you do, may you have LIGHT......

i sat and i pondered this.

what could it mean?

and while i was pondering,

the answer so clean,

LIGHT is a gift

so often unseen.

i am humbled.

i am unspeakably touched

upon my own scene.

thank you and bless you

for my again awakening.

for allowing me LIGHT

and the peace granted within.

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Posted: Dec 15, 2011 12:09pm
Dec 14, 2011

good golly miss molly! i'm still tryiing to figure this site stuff out. though i signed up some time back, i only recently began really using it. i can't figure out how to get the photo i want to be my whatever they call it picture no matter how many times i read the directions and try it! i'm waiting for care2 to contact me to change my email name to cluecastle. i will never in this world remember all the numbers!

other than those things, i've been thinking of string theory and the changing speed of time and how those things are connected to dimension. i'm really interested and i am eating up the information i find. makes me soooo happy for no apparent or known reason.

i believe that most of what makes up a person can be seen through their eyes. i don't see an aura but i can usually feel that too. what amazes me is that a lot of people do not realize that so much can come through their writing too. my belief in the power of the almighty, the earth spirits, angels of light, the power of prayer, and the possibilities of more, are strong. ironclad. absolute. and i  want to remember that today, i accidentally found a person writing of darkness and fear. right here, on care2. it took me 3 times to actually scan what was written. never actually reading it. and i did not read it for myself. i felt the badness at reading a thank you another wrote at the information he/she was being given. inside, i was screaming, needing to tell the thank-er that this was not a good thing. but i do not know the person well and judgement said no. so inside, a dilema. a libra thing. so far the scales are balanced and i do not speak, and pray..... and the anxiety is obnoxious. and demanding. at some point, a decision may have to be made and i really pray the people who read this will, in fact, turn away. i've read to heal oneself, try poetry. and i am attempting that. we will see. another libra matter.

if i speak, words are spoken.

they cannot come back.

to not speak, hold a truth,

then am i at lack?

when do i allow judgement

upon another's path?

a seeker, a finder,

what ties will bind?

and when do i impart?

when do i share?

and if not accepted,

were my words in vein?

the loss of a friendship

all over again?

yet what is a friendship

compared to a soul

when god's grace compels me

to do as i'm told.

no answers forthcoming.

still in a plight.

the feeling is darkness.

and i need the light.

god help me.

angels surround me.

comfort me in my time of need.

for your words of wisdom

i will definately heed.

resting my head

this night in my bed,

i pray for your guidance

to be clear, loving, and bright.

help me once more,

into the light.....

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Posted: Dec 14, 2011 10:21pm
Dec 13, 2011

had i been who i am way back when

life would have been so much easier then

charts unfilled, paths to choose

yes life would have been easier back then

struggle and strife, such a hard life

if only i'd known back then

that i was who i am

and that all of that strife

was just as it was supposed to be

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Posted: Dec 13, 2011 11:23pm
Dec 13, 2011

wow! today has been a roller coaster of emotions. horror, joy, tears, acceptence, fear, laughter...most all found right here at care2. yet, i'm drawn here to read and understand humanity...and to try to stop the speak in a gentle way that makes us all look at ourselves and maybe rethink our thoughts.  myself included by the way. i love my children and am so proud of all they do. no, i do not always agree with them but then i'm not supposed to do that. i love my grandkids for just existing. this love is so grand. back in the day, (always wanted to use that phrase) things i'd read about not experiencing that kind of love until grandchildren was oh my gosh so true. they need do nothing more then exist. i love my dog. she is the light of my life. a big girl, both in height and width, and getting on in years. blind in one eye, hip problems, had heartworms when i got her from a crying lady who had to get rid of her, snores like thunder; i adore her and she me. she loves me even though my body crumbles and my minds goes away at times. i love the earth, the sky, and all inbetween...except i'm working on humans. they get me down alot. they really don't seem to know how to exist peacefully. and i don't like stress and anxiety. i find my intolerence growing. and my tolerence too! doesn't make sense but so be it, it is true. i yearn for sunny days when it's dreary and cold. i yearn for cooler days when it's hot. my love for mark twain (sc) and shakespeare compete with my love for stephen king and mystery science theater. i love the times the passed on let us know they are still with us. my music has changed to big bands and celtic though i can still get a charge with poison and whitesnake. i can't work anymore. but remembering the joy at  working with my hospice patients and all they showed to me cannot be replaced. i love colors! bold and beautiful. soft and hushed. each touches a chord. so  today, with all the ups and downs i can truly say i love my life.

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Posted: Dec 13, 2011 10:56pm
Dec 13, 2011

i visit care2 in attempt to help reverse the attrosities we do and have done to ourselves. i visit care 2 in attempt to fullfil my purpose here on earth. i visit care2 in attempt to center my being and be at peace. what i am finding is that i am so very  upset here.  and i want to change that. i feel so deeply at what i find. i am brought to tears as i read of the horrific injustices. maybe i should not want to change my feelings.  i do not try to quash them. i cannot do that. i do not compartmentalize them. that is  not possible for  me. i try to release them into the universe with a prayer for those affected. and for myself so that  i may continue to make a difference. alone in the silence, voices, peace, and the knowledge that those gone before can and do alter and affect me.

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Posted: Dec 13, 2011 9:39am

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peggy p.
, 5, 2 children
Springfield, MO, USA
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