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10 Reasons Why Women Don’t Leave Their Abusers

10 Reasons Why Women Don’t Leave Their Abusers
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It’s a question often asked by people who’ve never experienced domestic violence: “Why doesn’t she just leave?” Sometimes, we ask this question because we truly don’t understand what might be keeping someone in a terrible relationship. Other times, this question is used as a way to blame women for the abuse they receive.

The answer is individual to each woman, and the reasons can be pretty complicated. The truth is, leaving can be difficult even when you know it’s the right thing to do — the average domestic violence victim may try to leave multiple times before actually being able to make a clean break. Here are just 10 of the many reasons why women stay with partners who hurt them.

(A quick note: yes, women can abuse men, and abuse also occurs in same-sex relationships. That being said, studies show that 95% of domestic abuse is committed by men against their female partners, so that’s what I’ll be addressing in this article. However, these reasons could apply to any relationship.)

1. Women may lack social support. One of the hallmarks of an abusive relationship is an abuser gradually isolating the victim from her support network, including friends and family. Since it happens over time, often victims of domestic violence don’t even realize what’s happening until it’s too late. They may be scared of reaching out to their former support network, or they may feel there’s no one they can trust.

2. They may have limited financial resources. If the victim shares a joint bank account with her abuser, it’s hard to break free. Some abusers may even take a victim’s paycheck from them or create a very strict budget to try to ensure the victim is unable to leave without ending up on the streets. When combined with the lack of a strong support network, this can make it almost impossible to get out.

3. They may have limited work experience. If the victim has been a stay-at-home mother or hasn’t been allowed to keep a steady job by her partner, this can make the idea of breaking free even more daunting. It can be difficult to find a job that pays enough to allow her to escape — especially if children are in the equation.

4. Questions of child custody and support may also be a factor. It’s easy to be frustrated or even angry with women who don’t remove their children from an abusive environment. Unfortunately, sometimes the only alternative is that the victim might be unable to support her children at all — or that sole custody will be given to the abusive parent.

5. Not being able to take a pet with them. Many men actually keep their partners in line by threatening the victim’s pets. If a woman’s only option is to go to a shelter where her pet isn’t allowed, her fears for the animal’s safety keep her from leaving. She may not have any options for temporary care while she works on becoming more independent.

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378 comments

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8:37AM PDT on Apr 22, 2014

i found out that my husband has been cheating on me (online) for more than a month, just last week when i got no internet at home. i am in the Philippines and he’s in uk. i know we’re so apart but is it not enough reason to cheat? he was flirting and doing stuff with girls online. he deleted all the things i could see and he didn't intend to tell me about it but i still found it out. when i asked him to confess, he said he’s not cheating. then he admitted some things but not everything so it wouldn't make it more worse. he’s the kind of guy who will never admit a thing till he’s cornered with proofs. i was 7 months pregnant and i'm worried about my baby. i cant help but to think all the time about what my lover is doing to me. i never thought he’d do that coz i know he loves me so much. but why would he flirt and cheat on me and do stuff with girls on cam? one morning he called me and told me that the relationship is over and that he don't need me anymore i felt so hurt and betrayed so i had information about this spell caster greatzalilu@gmail.com, about his glorious spell to people and how he use to bring lovers back, but at first i felt unconcerned because i hardly go for such things and i thought his work has a side effect, but when i gave him a chance to cast a spell for me because i was very in need on how to get my lover back, to my surprise his spell worked for me very fine and fast, my man started loving me again and came back to me from

8:15PM PDT on Sep 14, 2013

I can relate to all of them ;Then Thank God with my child and my wonderful husband now we had the courage and help to leave after 17 yrs of HELL

12:37AM PDT on Sep 14, 2013

I've been 1,2,3 & 4 ... now my daughter and I are happy, safe and free. :)

5:50AM PDT on Sep 11, 2013

Thanks for the article.

12:47AM PDT on Sep 11, 2013

Thanks for sharing these sad infos...good to know...so to help to react...

4:33AM PDT on Sep 10, 2013

Thank you.

11:38PM PDT on Sep 8, 2013

Thank you.

11:38PM PDT on Sep 8, 2013

Thank you.

7:25AM PDT on Sep 8, 2013

Thanks

6:25AM PDT on Sep 8, 2013

Thanks

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