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8 Things Bisexuals Hear All The Damn Time (Slideshow)

8 Things Bisexuals Hear All The Damn Time (Slideshow)
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Thursday, May 17, is the International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia (IDAHOT) and this year Care2 is bringing you personal stories from around the world on the fight to eliminate anti-LGBT prejudice and discrimination. For our complete coverage, please click here.

In honor of IDAHOT, and to follow up on my previous post on bisexuality and homophobia, I’ve decided to tackle a few myths about bisexuality and explain a few phrases that bisexuals everywhere could go without ever hearing again. (And, of course, why we’re sick of it!) I present to you, Care2 readers, 8 Things Bisexuals Hear All The Damn Time.

1. “It’s just a phase.”

This one takes on many forms, including, “I know you’re just experimenting” and the equally-condescending, “You’re just confused.”

All this really reveals is that the speaker is confused about bisexuality. Being attracted to both men and women isn’t confusing at all, unless you’ve grown up being told that there are only two options: gay and straight. It sometimes takes young bi men and women a little time to figure out where they fit in the continuum of sexual identity if they don’t realize that bisexuality is an option. Once they understand the label, things start to make sense. It’s not bisexuality that’s confusing. It’s society that’s confusing.

And it’s not a phase, although most bisexuals will go through periods in their lives when they exclusively date men or women. (And not all bisexuals are equally attracted to both men and women – many favor one or the other, but are willing to date both.) It doesn’t mean they’ve become gay or straight. It doesn’t mean anything, really — just that, for whatever reason, that particular bi person is meeting more women than men they have good chemistry with, or vice versa.

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Photo credit: Zach Klein via Flickr

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167 comments

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3:43PM PST on Nov 29, 2012

Sometimes the only place you can see the stupidity of both sides of the argument when you're sitting on the fence.

Pick a side? Really? Ok, I'm on the fence, and I'm staying there. If Hetrosexual and Homosexual are valid choices, why the hell isn't Bisexual an equally valid choice?

Imagine being told as a teenager that you can only eat one flavor of Ice Cream for life, and you have to choose that flavor right now.

You feel offended by that question?
That's just Ice Cream, think how annoyed you would be if it was your flavor of sexuality you had to decide.

So no offence, but I'm going to sit here and eat my Jamacian Coffee and English Toffee two scoop ice cream cone and enjoy every damn drop of it.

5:38AM PDT on Sep 17, 2012

how absurd. Love is love.

3:41PM PDT on Aug 24, 2012

people are so ignorant. love who you love and find acceptance in people who aren't "holier than thou". people who are willing to accept you as a person, not an orientation.

12:52AM PDT on May 27, 2012

Lens of Perception ... it is easier to understand how someone is affected after it is spelled out.... thank you!

9:14PM PDT on May 23, 2012

thank you for article.

9:14PM PDT on May 23, 2012

thank you for article.

9:11PM PDT on May 23, 2012

This is spot on! I am so sick of hearing all of the above and of course there is the "If you just had the right man you would not want a woman." said to me by men of course. From the gay women who I don't fancy I hear "You just really don't want sex with a woman." No what I don't want is sex with you! I enjoy the company of both sexes and have had wonderful relationships with both.

5:34PM PDT on May 23, 2012

IMO bisexuality can be the most exclusive not inclusive. For me it means I am so picky about who I date that I wont even let gender/orientation narrow it down. It is all about personality. Who the person is, not what happens to exist behind the zipper.

2:07PM PDT on May 23, 2012

Human sexuality is a spectrum...utterly homosexual at one far end and utterly heterosexual at the other far end...and everything in-between. I don't like the term "bi", which suggests "bifurcated", or half-this and half-that, when people to whom the term is applied are fully human beings and fully of their own sexual orientation.

Besides, nobody's sexuality is any of your business except your own. It would greatly improve things if everybody got their nose out of everybody else's sexuality.

9:04AM PDT on May 23, 2012

I just have to wonder why anyone has to tell anyone else about their sex life.

It's no one else's business who anyone sleeps with, so why even tell people if you're bi when you know you're going to get weird and stupid comments and questions about it?
Your sex life is PERSONAL....so it should be kept PERSONAL.

No one has the right to judge anyone based on their sexual preference....but if you broadcast it, you're inviting the problems you don't want.
My ex was bi and I didn't want to deal with that in an already struggling marriage...but I can understand it even though it isn't right for me...and I don't discuss my (or anyone's) sex life because it's no one's business but the person you're doing it with.

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Julie M. Rodriguez Julie M. Rodriguez is an arts, green living, and political writer based in San Mateo, CA. Her work... more
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