9 Things Romney Could Learn from Big Bird

In the definitive sound bite of the first presidential debate, Mitt Romney declared, “I love Big Bird.” Despite that adoration, Romney also said he wanted to cut funding to PBS. However, he really shouldn’t sack Sesame Street considering all of the educational value it contains. Not just for kids, but for Mitt, too. Actually, there’s a lot Romney could stand to learn from Big Bird:

 

1. Sesame Street uses the “One of these things is not like the others” song frequently. Even children in their earliest developmental stages are able to discern differences among items. It’s relevant because Romney is adamant that corporations are people. If I were to put three people and a corporation in front of a child, I’m sure she could point out hundreds of dissimilarities, so why can’t Romney do the same?

 

2. When Romney was caught on a secret recording deriding half of the country as government moochers with a sense of entitlement, it looked like Romney was going to have to a deliver a big apology. Instead, he more or less stuck by his offensive words and paid for it in the polls. Take it from Big Bird and his well-known song: “Everybody makes mistakes!” Admitting he was wrong might not have entirely fixed the problem, but it certainly would have helped.

 

3. Romney is losing the battle for Latino voters by a wide margin, and it could cost him the election. Perhaps directing a mariachi band like Big Bird does in this clip would come across as pandering, but having any positive interaction with the Latino community would be helpful over his apparent current strategy of severely bronzing before a Univision appearance and declaring that he’d “have a better shot at winning” if he had substantial Mexican heritage.

 

4. Big Bird may not be able to fit into a polling booth, but he seems pretty excited to vote one day now that his adult friends have taught him about the process. Too bad he may not be able to do, as I doubt Big Bird has a driver’s license. While Republicans may be pushing voter ID laws in the hopes of securing a Romney victory, it would be nice if Romney looked at the disenfranchisement from an ethical perspective rather than saying, “I like voter ID laws… more of them.”

 

5. As it turns out, Romney has long supported Monsanto, the evil corporate giant that produces genetically modified crops. Real produce doesn’t need to be manipulated to be harvested and delicious. Big Bird also used to be ignorant as to how food originated until kids took him to a farm, so a similar adventure might be in order for Mitt. Of course, rumors that Romney privately prefers organic items might mean he has a better understanding of healthy eating than the laws and businesses he publicly supports would indicate. (Perhaps all of those cries for the poor to eat the rich are useful, as the rich will be the only ones who could afford to have any nutrition in their bodies.)

 

6. Romney creates a public health care system in Massachusetts, but then blames Obama for inventing a similar program on a national level. Romney dismisses 47% of Americans for not paying taxes, while using benefits and exemptions to pay tax rates significantly below the average American… and that’s just on the tax returns he’s willing to show! Big Bird had to learn a similar lesson when he first encountered a fellow bird and denied the similarities. Romney may want to pretend others aren’t birds just like him, but you’re both birds, Mitt, and you look silly pretending otherwise.

 

7. Former high school classmates have leveled accusations that Romney was a bully. While one would hope he grew out of that mentality, the fact that, as governor, he ended a commission focused on LGBT bullying demonstrates how lightly he takes the issue of bullying. Poor Big Bird has faced similar harassment for being too tall or too yellow, and maybe seeing the suffering our feathered friend had to endure would be enough for Romney to take a firmer stance against bullying.

 

8. ”I oppose marijuana being used for recreational purposes and I believe the federal law should prohibit the recreational use of marijuana,” Romney said. But as Big Bird discovers once he eats his first bite of an apple: how can you know that you don’t like it until you’ve given it a try? I understand that Romney’s religion forbids drinking, let alone drug use, but if he doesn’t want to try marijuana itself, he could also just try legalizing it and see how that goes for everyone.

 

9. Big Bird finds that learning the alphabet can be fun. Okay, okay, I’m pretty sure Romney already knows the alphabet, but after the whole “Amercia” debacle, as well as a couple of other notable campaign misspellings, maybe it wouldn’t hurt for Romney and his team to brush up on the alphabet a little bit.

Having heard Romney’s proposed tax plans, it seems like he could also use some help with math, too. I think I’ll leave that instruction up to the Count, though.

 

Related Stories:

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Top 7 Lies of the First Debate

Republicans Are So Extreme, Democrats Might Just Clinch the Senate

 

Photo Credit: Evelyn Giggles

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240 comments

Kevin Brown
Kevin Brown3 years ago

You do realize that lousy $444 million dollars represents our nation's commitment to arts, culture, and education, and the use of television and radio as a critical medium for connecting the public to these resources. That the bulk of the money goes directly to hundreds of television and radio stations that provide these services to hundreds of millions of Americans. That in many of the remote parts of the nation public broadcasting is the only radio and television stations available?

And you are willing to cut that to save the few dollars it represents with all of the wealth this nation has and all of the wasted money? Do you realize that we give over $110 BILLION dollars a year in corporate welfare? That is more than 200 times the budget for all of public broadcasting in a year.

What is your next suggestion that we close down the Smithsonian Institute to save a few bucks?

Kevin Brown
Kevin Brown3 years ago

Sission S. said "Kevin, the problem is that it's not just your tax dollars and you don't represent everyone. If you wish to support a fine cause such as PBS, call in a donation when they do their programming support telethon."

By your rationale I could say that I don't want my tax dollars being used to repair the road that runs in front of your house since I do not drive on it. Your needs don't represent everyone and you should hold a telethon to repair your road.

Public education is in the national interest and supports the general welfare of this nation IT IS EXACTLY WHAT OUR TAX DOLLAS SHOULD BE SPENT ON!

Mary B.
Mary B.3 years ago

Sisson S.......trust me (isn't that what the R & R team keep saying?)......I would never send you an E mail but I would respond here if I thought it was necessary.........I don't feel any more "clever" than usual.......this isn't rocket science......BTW, ta ta is a very British term for "bye" sometimes ta ra is said......ta ta is also a baby term for please and thank you.....I'm sure you couldn't have been so crass as to mean "shut up"

Teresa B.
Teresa B.3 years ago

Sisson, your "explanation" of why your profile shows you just joined today doesn't wash. I've forgotten my pw here before, but it never changed my Join Date, or deleted my Butterfly Credits or my friends or my profile. So TA yourself.

Michael G.
Michael T.3 years ago

@Sisson the ta ta Queen says I don't like receiving junk mail.

Then why do you keep sending so much?

Michael G.
Michael T.3 years ago

There goes Sisson Fingers in her ears again, running around on the lawn yelling

"la la la la la, I can't hear you. My mind's made up."

Ta ta to you again. with the new meanings you have given it. Here, let me refresh your amnesiac memory

Ta ta is polite for 'move along, go away, just shut up.

Sisson S.
Sisson Stewart3 years ago

Oh and don't bother replying, I unchecked the replies via e-mail. I don't like receiving junk mail.

Sisson S.
Sisson Stewart3 years ago

Oh Mary, I know you're feeling oh so clever right now, my, you noticed I just joined. Ah, but you are wrong. I joined a long time ago, but have just been browsing topics through the care2 emails that I receive. Today, when I decided to comment, I needed to remember my password which I had forgotten, so I had to reset it and I guess it now shows me as just joining. This experience however, reminds me of why I stopped commenting a long time ago. Dealing with hostile crazy people really scares me. You two scare me. If Big Bird gets you this rattled, I suggest you both seek mental health services. Ta ta to you too. FYI, Ta ta is polite for 'move along, go away, just shut up.

Michael G.
Michael T.3 years ago

Mary Thanks so much for pointing that out. I had failed to check. That makes sense. They appear to be so untrained. It's almost tragic to watch them come on here and try their inane talking points only to get served penalties for playing tennis without the net.

Mary B.
Mary B.3 years ago

Michael.....I see Sisson S. just joined today !!... another Dead C Troll??