I love my Harry Potters. Please don’t take my Huck Finn away. I’ve seen them come for the Farenheit 451 without a hint of irony, and watched them fume over To Kill a Mockingbird.
They are the book banners. They have a usual list. They are on a crusade to protect their children from the possibilities of offensive words, explicit sexual situations, or worldviews that might make them second guess their familial beliefs.
The are the very definition of rigid thinkers. And bizarrely enough, they want to ban the very definitions themselves.
That’s right. They came for the dictionary.
A Menifee, California, school district has banned the Merriam-Webster dictionary. Because the book contains the words “oral sex.” The school district is now “forming a committee to review whether dictionaries containing the definitions for sexual terms should be permanently banned.” Of course they are.
Obviously, the answer is to create an abridged version of the dictionary that only contains non-sexual words. There’s no need for those other, vulgar words, after all. Besides, once they finally get all of those books that might mention sex off the shelves and out of schools, there will be no reason for their children to come across those words anyway.
To get them one step closer, one school district is resuing to teach that pile of filth and dirty sexual themes known as “The Diary of Anne Frank.”
“The Diary of a Young Girl: the Definitive Edition,” which was published on the 50th anniversary of Frank’s death in a concentration camp, will not be used in the future, said James Allen, director of instruction for the 7,600-student system. The school system did not follow its own policy for handling complaints about instructional materials, Allen said.
The diary documents the daily life of a Jewish girl in Amsterdam during World War II. Frank started writing on her 13th birthday, shortly before her family went into hiding in an annex of an office building. The version of the diary in question includes passages previously excluded from the widely read original edition, first published in Dutch in 1947. That book was arranged by her father, the only survivor in her immediate family. Some of the extra passages detail her emerging sexual desires; others include unflattering descriptions of her mother and other people living together.
See, the students need to use the more sanitized version, not the one that talks about a young girl going through the changes of adolescence, including hormonal issues.
Frankly, it’s probably just as well. If they got caught looking up any of the dirty words they might get the dictionary banned.