R – E – S – P – E – C – T my marriage

Defense of Marriage Act. Even as a heterosexual married woman, I am offended by the phrase.

The name itself is disrespectful and suggests that homosexual unions cause harm to heterosexual marriage… that people like me have a need to defend our marriages against outside forces — other couples — and I must confess that I just don’t get that.

Equal rights for all, regardless of gender, race, religion, or sexual orientation must be upheld if we are to be truly secure in our own rights. That’s what we should be defending. Discrimination against any particular group is in itself a danger to the freedom of all.

The 1996 passage of the Defense of Marriage Act bans the federal government from recognizing same-sex marriages, while individual states need not recognize a marriage between persons of the same sex carried out in another state, creating an absurd amount of confusion surrounding one’s legal rights.

The DOMA singles out a specific group of Americans in order to deny them the protections of marriage — among them, Social Security survivors’ benefits, family leave, and medical benefits. That we enjoy these benefits without question, yet deny the same to others, does not speak well of us as a people.

The very idea that a bill was created specifically to discriminate against one group under the guise of protecting another should be deeply disturbing to all of us.

Respect for Marriage Act. Now that has a much nicer ring to it.

Introduced this September, H.R. 3567, the Respect for Marriage Act of 2009, reads in part:

“For the purposes of any Federal law in which marital status is a factor, an individual shall be considered married if that individual’s marriage is valid in the State where the marriage was entered into or, in the case of a marriage entered into outside of any State, if the marriage is valid in the place where entered into and the marriage could have been entered into in a State.”

If you support Equal Rights for All Families, please take a moment to sign this Care2 petition.

The Respect for Marriage Act would not impose same-sex marriage on any state, but allows couples living in states that do not recognize their marriages access to federal benefits. It’s still a far cry from equal rights, but it is an acknowledgement of the intolerance and mean-spiritedness of the Defense of Marriage Act.

You don’t have to approve of my marriage and I need not approve yours, but we should all have the same rights under the law. It’s been my experience that many heterosexuals feel the same way… we just haven’t been very vocal about it. So comfortable and secure are we in our marital rights that we give little thought to those who only wish for that same comfort and security. Shame on us.

Respect is a two way street.

For further analysis of the Respect for Marriage Act, read:

Finally, Respect for Marriage – DOMA Repeal Introduced!

And more about the Defense of Marriage Act:

9/11 – The DOMA Effect and Victim 0001

Federal Challenge to DOMA Thrown Out

Photo: http://www.sxc.hu/photo/829079

quick poll

vote now!

Loading poll...

no!
leaning no
leaning yes
yes!

no!
leaning no
leaning yes
yes!

Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

Elizabeth I.

5:55PM PDT on Oct 2, 2009

Another hetero-married woman for same-sex marriage. This is a civil rights issue. Two people who love each other have the right to legal marriage. **

send a green star

Karrie C.

4:00PM PDT on Oct 1, 2009

Its between the two people and the Lord and God is the Judge and yes we need to respect all Marriages. Even tho I don't like Same Sex Marriage this is something that has changed in history if people love each and happy they should have a right too that is what this country is all about.

CINDY O.

3:45PM PDT on Oct 1, 2009

If the two people truly loves one another, so be it. It really is None of our business, And only God knows what is right or what is wrong. I say it again " Live and let Live".

Meredith W.

7:03AM PDT on Oct 1, 2009

While I support the Respect for Marriage act, I think that our government should be doing more to preserve EVERYONE'S (including the LGBT citizens) right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. A.k.a. I don't think that RFMA is enough.

MJ M.

1:53PM PDT on Sep 29, 2009

Dr, Donna B, please tell me more about these 3 orifices. That one that's for eating, do you mean to tell me that you don't use it for anything else? I think you know what I mean.

Dee B.

9:18PM PDT on Sep 28, 2009

Hey Wayne N., check out the 9th amendment of the constitution. That's probably the one you want. I believe that is the one that covers any freedoms not mentioned in the constitution.

9:15PM PDT on Sep 28, 2009

From things I have read, homosexual marriage has been allowed to stop the population growth. It is a form of population control. Now there can't be any cheating out there and I think you know what I mean. All I know, is we have 3 orifices and they each have their own purpose. One is for eating, one is for getting rid of body waste and the other is for pro-creation, just as it says in the Bible. But, leave it up to "man" to come up with this stuff. In case no one has noticed, the morals of this country has gone down the toilet. I also think patriotism has too but that belongs on another story.

Wayne W.

7:30PM PDT on Sep 28, 2009

It seems to me that state laws forbidding gay marriage are clearly unconsitutional. The Equal Protection Clause, part of the Fourteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution, provides that "(n)o state shall ... deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws". Since marriage implies so many legal issues, denying a segment of the population the right to choose a marriage partner and then marry denies equal protection.

Nora W.

7:27PM PDT on Sep 28, 2009

ESPECIALLY as a hetro married woman i am offended.
Why would anyone assume i WANT another person denied the right to enter into a legally committed relationship called marriage in this life. The advantage of a stable and loving relationship for all is good for humanity as a whole.