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Loading...Taking His Name? You Must Be A Girly Girl
Once upon a time, wedding vows used to tell a woman to love, honor and obey. Those days are long gone, but a bigger struggle for a woman’s identity post-marriage appears to be going strong.
Can a woman take her husband’s name and still be independent? The answers from society may surprise you.
Via Broadsheet, a new study claims that women who take their husband’s names are viewed with many more of the stereotypical characteristics of women:
Marital name change is not without consequences. Women who took their partner’s name appear to be different from women who kept their own name on a variety of demographics and beliefs, which are more or less associated with the female stereotype (Study 1). Subsequent studies show that women’s surnames are used as a cue for judgment (Studies 2-4). A woman who took her partner’s name or a hyphenated name was judged as more caring, more dependent, less intelligent, more emotional, less competent, and less ambitious in comparison with a woman who kept her own name. A woman with her own name, on the other hand, was judged as less caring, more independent, more ambitious, more intelligent, and more competent, which was similar to an unmarried woman living together or a man.
How does this “less intelligent, less competent” belief play out in real life? Well, according to the study, this would result in, among other things, lower pay for job applicants.
Broadsheet writer Tracy Clark-Flory (who would like to point out she is not married, despite her hyphenated name) points out the variety of ways this study might not mean that much.
There are plenty of reasons not to take the study’s results as gospel — namely, a small sample size, limited categories for evaluating the hypotheticalwomen and the fact that university students might not be the most accurate predictors of hiring practices in the real world. So, per the usual, we’ll have to wait for more research to be done.
There are some definite issues. For example, how does a potential employer know whether a woman is using her maiden name or her married name, or even if the woman is married at all?
But regardless of the financial implications, the character assumptions about a woman who uses her husband’s name is disturbing, at least to me. I know I don’t consider myself to be any less a feminist, strong, independent or intelligent just for taking my husband’s name when I got married (which, frankly, was just much easier to spell than my own).
Now I am waiting anxiously for a study of what people believe about men who take their wives’ names when they get married. I can only hope the results are equally full of derogatory negative stereotypes as well.
Read more: change last name, husbands name, keep your name, marriage, name change, taking his name, womens rights
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She may always use her former name anytime.
At the end of the day, we must make the right decision for us. Some may keep their maiden name, others may not. It's up to the woman, nobody else.
@ charlotte b. you can have your husband take your last name legally. i didnt know that until i got married. i dont know if its the same process that women do to change their last name but its worth looking into!
Thanks
though i can appreciate what you share Kaitlyn that you will not allow a name to define you, i personally am of the opinion that no matter how hard one tries to block being defined by a name, it does happen.
I use both my first name and my middle name -- people treat and respond differently to me depending which name i use, let alone which surname i use!
So though it (my name) does not define who i am deep inside unless i want it to (a name can give one an incentive to become stronger, etc), a name sure defines who i am in the eyes of others.
So the question is (i would say), how do you wish others to respond to you (define you) when you do have a choice between two different surnames to be known as.
Unfortunately, rightly or wrongly, people do form opinions on who you are based upon your name/surname.
though i can appreciate what you share Kaitlyn that you will not allow a name to define you, i personally am of the opinion that no matter how hard one tries to block being defined by a name, it does happen.
I use both my first name and my middle name -- people treat and respond differently to me depending which name i use, let alone which surname i use!
So though it (my name) does not define who i am deep inside, it sure defines who i am in the eyes of others.
So the question is (i would say), how do you wish others to respond to you (define you) when you do have a choice between two different surnames to be known as.
Unfortunately, rightly or wrongly, people do form opinions on who you are based upon your name/surname.
regarding the poll I'm rather unsure , because the surname one generally has is the name of one's father ...
I fully emphatically support any woman who wishes to keep her name .
However I doubt I'd keep mine , I've never felt I could be defined by a name . I think that that study is misleading and really only speaks to the greater misconceptions about women as individuals .
I'm a professional and have kept my own name for legal purposes as well as personal. I use the contraction Ms rather than Miss or Mrs, although when I tell people my surname, they invariably refer to me as Mrs ... I sometimes will hyphenate my name with my husband's, but feel no necessity to adopt his surname.
My husband and I got married in Hawaii where any change or no change was legal. We decided to add the other's last name as a second middle name. So I still have my own last name but his after my middle name and he has mine after his middle name. Not much difference for filling out forms and such but we feel like we've each traded fairly and are equally respectful of the other's family history. We love it! It may not work for everyone but it sure does for us.
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