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20 Relationship Rules

20 Relationship Rules

There are some general rules for relationship health that if you follow them your happiness level should improve tremendously.

1. Compassion, understanding, respect and empathy are essential.
Avoid: Criticism or contempt.
Also avoid:
2. Blaming or shaming.
3. Defensiveness.
4. Negativity.
5. Stonewalling or turning away.
6. Being the victim or the perp.
7. Fight fair: No yelling, name calling, sarcasm or hitting below the belt or eye gouging, rabbit punches or throwing things at or near the other person. With anger, never suppress it, never express it. Find out what is causing the anger and then.. [number 8]
8. Talk about: What you need, want, feel and whatís important to you and then make it about what each of you can do to make it better next time.
9. Be tender in all your interactions.
10. Keep your promises.
11. Develop and nurture a good sense of humor.
12. Acknowledge what your partner is saying before you say your piece.
13. Show appreciation.
14. Be responsible for yourself, your health and your messes.
15. Be considerate.
16. Own your part in a problem, even if it is 98 percent and 2 percent, own your 2 percent.
17. Make a commitment to making your relationship work. Be a part of the solution.
18. Connection is your top priority.
19. Practice loving kindness.
20. Accentuate the positive.

Following these simple ideas may take a lifetime because they are goals, not imperatives. We all need to know is where the road leads us to and, after all, isn’t all about the journey?

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Read more: Love, Relationships,

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Dr. Bill Cloke

Dr. Bill Cloke has worked with individuals and couples for 30 years. He received a masterís degree in education from the University of Southern California and holds a PhD in psychology from California Graduate Institute. A frequent talk-radio and TV psychologist, he is also a contributor to and other popular websites and has lectured at UCLA. Bill Cloke lives with his wife in Los Angeles. To learn more about Bill Cloke, and for more resources on creating healthy, happy relationships, visit


+ add your own
7:24AM PDT on Aug 9, 2012

Great photo! Women power!

2:48AM PDT on May 26, 2012

absolutely true in most of the points

3:13PM PDT on Mar 29, 2012


2:52PM PDT on Mar 21, 2012

You should as well take time for yourself away from any fighting .You may see the situation differently upon returning!

4:24AM PDT on Mar 21, 2012

Rules doesn't work in the same way for all.

3:23PM PDT on Mar 11, 2012

great summary, but I agree - the picture attached to this article seems a bit off!

11:08AM PST on Mar 10, 2012

The picture selected to be shown with this article seems terribly inappropriate when you actually read the article!!

9:19AM PST on Mar 9, 2012

Short and Sweet.

9:11AM PST on Mar 9, 2012

no 19-pratice loveing'''''but a kick to the groin ,,work better than words,,,,,

9:07AM PST on Mar 9, 2012


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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

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