How’s your sex life? And what does the quality of sex have to do with the mind, or the breath?
For centuries, humans have explored mind-body connections. Many of the ways we’ve used to reach a deeper self awareness have resulted in improvements across multiple aspects of our life: work, interpersonal relationships, and yes, even sex!
Here are five keys to get you and your partner on the path to better, quality sex:
1. Quiet your mind, and take inventory of where you are. What state of mind you are in? Are you calm, or agitated? Are you here in this moment, or still thinking about work or something else? And what might be holding you back…do you lack confidence or have doubts or fears? It all starts with self-awareness. Simply observe, do not judge yourself or try to change anything, just be aware.
2. Breathe. Take deep cleansing breaths. Feel your chest rise and fall. If you were agitated, find a sense of calm. Let go of any other thoughts and just be in the moment. Clear your thoughts and think only of the breath. Follow it as it flows into, through and out of your body.
3. Shut down the little voice. As you focus on your breathing, you silence the little voice in your head. This is the one that keeps you from enjoying the moment — it reminds you that you’d look sexier if you lost 10 pounds, it nags at you about problems at work — and keeps you from having great sex. Release it, one breath at a time. Every time you exhale, let those negative thoughts flow out.
4. Locate your sexual energy. Is it all concentrated in one area of your body? Or is it a general tingling throughout? Ideally, your sexual energy flows through your entire body. Your heart and mind are fully engaged. If you simply feel an uncomfortable build-up of energy that needs to be released - that is all that you will get in the end, a quick release. Instead, gain control over this energy and allow it to fill you up. One of the easiest ways is through slow, rhythmic breathing.
5) Keep Breathing. Yes, more breathing! When you breathe through your nose rather than your mouth, you stimulate the nerve centers in your brain. No matter how fast the rest of your body may be moving, take slow and deep breaths through your nose, and continue this throughout your lovemaking. This will circulate the sexual and emotional pleasure you are feeling throughout your body for an extended and more satisfying experience.
Try engaging your partner in these practices as well and incorporate it into your foreplay. When both of you take the time to focus on giving and receiving pleasure, you’re both certain to even more satisfaction!
As for postcoital, it’s important to continue to work on deep breathing (basically a form of meditation) on a regular basis, not just during sex. You’ll find that it helps reduce stress, clarify thinking and create an overall sense of well-being. With regular practice, it will also become easier and faster to find that place of self-awareness and connection.
Are you ready to breathe some additional energy and excitement into your sex life?