When the last asset has been divided, the alimony or child support settled, and the emotional scars of the divorce finally begin to fade you may start to feel things you haven’t felt in quite some time. The hairs on the back of your neck may begin to dance when you smell the sensual cologne of the beautiful woman in front of you at Starbucks. Or maybe you find yourself gazing longingly at the very fit and tan construction worker on the side of the road as you are stuck in rush hour traffic. Before you know it, the old familiar feelings of lust and desire have been resurrected and it’s time to start dating again.
Dating after a divorce can be a scary thing. Depending on the circumstances that led to your divorce, you may re-enter the dating world with tattered self-confidence, fear or even guilt. You may look at every prospect as the same wolf that your ex-spouse was, just in new sheep’s clothing. If you were married for a long time, you probably feel quite a bit older than all of the competition and unfamiliar with the latest dating techniques such as speed dating, internet matchmaking and social networking. You are not alone. Millions of people have re-entered the sea of romantic possibility and navigated the waters quite successfully. Here are five tips to help you get sailing:
Fix Yourself First
Finding yourself single after a long relationship provides a great opportunity for self-discovery. Now that you are no longer half of a couple, take this time to learn more about yourself. Explore areas of your personality that you’ve longed to get to know better, and let yourself experiment with new activities and hobbies. Find ways to repair the damage the divorce may have caused before you begin looking for someone else to fill in your voids. The last thing you want is to enter a relationship expecting your partner to fill in your gaps and heal you. The ideal partner will complement you, not complete you.
Take it Slow
When you begin dating after a divorce, you should consider entering the dating waters one toe at a time. Gauge your comfort level before you jump off the high dive. If you are more at ease in a group setting, consider going out with the girls to mingle with some eligible bachelors. If you feel confident one on one, set up a dating profile and start wining and dining some nice ladies once a week. No matter how you approach the dating world, do it at a speed that is comfortable for you.