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5 Ways to Rebuild Trust After It’s Broken

1. Coming clean does work—but not completely clean. Denial only leads to more distrust, so the truth has to come out along with the willingness to take responsibility for your actions. However, detailed truth can sometimes make the hurt even worse and compound the pain, and therefore the healing process. Couples can spend tons of time on details while losing the thread of what needs to be done to correct the misconduct.

2. Being defensive, righteous or casual about the problem never works. There must be a sincere effort to work out the issues, or the wall will never come down. The angrier you are, the less you are able to hear what the aggrieved one has to say, and the worse what they feel will get.

3. Talk about what made you do it. Opening up about your own struggle, the need to get help, and the awareness of what got you there in the first place will help to prevent further infractions. If there is a sexual addiction problem, you must be willing to attend SA (sexual addiction) meetings or do what is necessary to make it better. If there is loneliness in the marriage, take the initiative to make an appointment with a counselor. Talking about your feelings of alienation is the best way to connect again.

4. Be an open book. That means open your cell phone, email, and appointment book for a period of time. This is usually the hardest part, because any person who has lived that clandestine underground life of secrecy likes it that way. They feel entitled to privacy, and they become righteous and indignant. At this point, you will need to take a moment and ask yourself what is really important: your relationship or your privacy? It really comes down to that.

5. Renew your vows. Whether married or not, there is a need to discuss values about living life and what that entails. This may be the most important part of the process. Take time to talk about what you want, what got you into this mess, and what needs to happen moving forward. Write it all down and make a ceremony out of it. Invite your friends and family. Tell the world what you are going to do and mean it.

For Laurie and Frank, it was too late. Frank had gone too far, with too many areas to correct what had gone wrong. Had they talked about it sooner, there may have been a reckoning, but too much water had gone under their relationship to make it work. I think Frank did learn a tremendous amount about how to live with another person and about who he wanted to be. For Laurie, the wounds were deep and it will take time for her to trust anyone again. A word here to all those people out there who are contemplating something strange: there are a lot of people who are hurt by the actions of destroying trust.

Renewing trust is not just a decision—it’s a lifestyle change. It’s about coming home to yourself and your mate, and making it work. Keeping a relationship clear and open is a valuable process. When we lie, cheat, steal and do bad things to ourselves or others, we pay the ultimate price, and we lose what is most precious to us. If you need help, get it. If you need a change, then make it. Creating trust is a big deal, so treat it that way. There are many facets and turns in this very delicate and daunting process of trust. If it’s not dealt with properly, then it will torch your relationship until what remains are ashes and regret. If you can look at the restoring of trust as a learning process that will hopefully bring with it greater intimacy and love, then go ahead on. If not, then make other plans.

 

 

Related:
5 Kinds Of Trust Married Couples Need
Do You Snoop Through Your Partner’s Phone?
The Cost of Infidelity

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Dr. Bill Cloke

Dr. Bill Cloke has worked with individuals and couples for 30 years. He received a master’s degree in education from the University of Southern California and holds a PhD in psychology from California Graduate Institute. A frequent talk-radio and TV psychologist, he is also a contributor to PsychologyToday.com and other popular websites and has lectured at UCLA. Bill Cloke lives with his wife in Los Angeles. To learn more about Bill Cloke, and for more resources on creating healthy, happy relationships, visit happytogetherbook.com.

336 comments

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5:19AM PDT on Jul 28, 2015

My name is Miriam, I am from United States, I was in a relationship with my man and we loved and cherished ourselves for 3 good years and every thing was going on smoothly but February 14, 2015 a day I can call a lovers day we both had misunderstanding because I answered a call from a guy that is asking me out for a date but I refused, and he told me that the relationship is over and that he is fed up with me and I begged him because I love him so much but he refused me I was so down cast and I felt the world has come to an end for me but my friend told me about a spell caster that helped her sister out in getting her relationship back, a good job and favor in any of her endeavor but at first I was scared but I have to give this man a trial because I love my man very much and I am not willing to loose him to any woman, so I ordered returning my love spell from this great spell caster that made me a happy woman again to say it all my ex came back to me with much love and a caring heart...i am testifying to this great spell caster Gbenga Okokodu. if you need his help you can contact him on his email gbengaokokodu@yahoo.in
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Regards
Miriam Gibson
miriamgib90@gmail.com
+1316-712-7520

10:25PM PDT on Jul 25, 2015

OMG!! This is certainly a shocking and a genuine Testimony i have ever
seen..I visited a forum here on the internet on the 30TH OF JUNE 2013,
after my husband separated me and my marriage of 7 years was broken down
and i was totally inconsolable and without hope because i have tried all
means to get my husband back after much pleading and did everything
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And i saw a marvelous testimony with this email adress
akharespelltemple@gmail.com of this powerful and great spell caster called
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brought the Husband of a woman back to her in just 48 hours..I never
believed it, because i never heard nor learnt anything about magic before..
Not a soul would have been able to influence me about magical spells, not
until Dr AKHARE did it for me and restored my marriage of 7 years back to me
and brought my spouse back to me in the same 48 hours just as i read on the
internet..i was truly astonished and shocked when my husband came to my
house and knelt down begging for forgiveness and for me to accept him
back.. I am really short of expressions, and i don't know how much to
convey my appreciation to you Dr AKHARE.. you are certainly a God sent to me
and my entire life and family.. he did his work just as he guaranteed me in
48 hours and it yielded an optimistic result to me and i was able to get my
Husband back.

10:25PM PDT on Jul 25, 2015

OMG!! This is certainly a shocking and a genuine Testimony i have ever
seen..I visited a forum here on the internet on the 30TH OF JUNE 2013,
after my husband separated me and my marriage of 7 years was broken down
and i was totally inconsolable and without hope because i have tried all
means to get my husband back after much pleading and did everything
possible to make sure that he comes back, but nothing worked out for me....
And i saw a marvelous testimony with this email adress
akharespelltemple@gmail.com of this powerful and great spell caster called
Dr AKHARE on the forum.. And i saw how Dr AKHARE reunited a family and
brought the Husband of a woman back to her in just 48 hours..I never
believed it, because i never heard nor learnt anything about magic before..
Not a soul would have been able to influence me about magical spells, not
until Dr AKHARE did it for me and restored my marriage of 7 years back to me
and brought my spouse back to me in the same 48 hours just as i read on the
internet..i was truly astonished and shocked when my husband came to my
house and knelt down begging for forgiveness and for me to accept him
back.. I am really short of expressions, and i don't know how much to
convey my appreciation to you Dr AKHARE.. you are certainly a God sent to me
and my entire life and family.. he did his work just as he guaranteed me in
48 hours and it yielded an optimistic result to me and i was able to get my
Husband back.

12:12PM PDT on Jul 25, 2015

I Met a Powerful Spell caster and Psychic from India by name Dr Bully, He is very real, Honest and Genuine.. He helped me get my lover back, there is no bad or negative effect.The Psychic uses white Magic and he helped me get my Lover back, it worked in 2 days.. My lover came back to me, apologized for leaving and now we are back together and as happy as ever… I will encourage and recommend anyone to contact the spell caster and ask him for help.. He does all kinds of spells asides love spells. just tell him your situation and he will help you… you can email him directly on bullytemple@yahoo.com (his Facebook name is Kareem Abhida and his Facebook page is Dr Bully Temple""" he is the answer to your problem..once again the email address is bullytemple@yahoo.com get back your divorced Husband/Wife back now with his help

3:39PM PDT on Jul 24, 2015

My husband dumped me a week ago after I accused him of seeing someone else
and insulting him. I wanted him back in my life but he refused to have any
contact with me. I was so confused and didn't know what to do, so I reached
for the internet for help and I saw a testimony of how a man that helps
people to get their spouses and partners back so I contacted the man and
explained my problem to him and he assured me that within 3 days that my ex
will return to me and to my greatest surprise on the third day my ex came
knocking on my door and begging for forgiveness. I am so happy that my love
is back again and not only that, we are about to get married. Once again
thank you Dr Baba. You are truly talented and gifted. If you need his help
you can reach him on his email address: worldwidesupremetemple@gmail.com
He can be of great help and I will not stop publishing him because he is a
wonderful man

9:07AM PDT on Jul 22, 2015

friends.My name is dennis i based in Chicago.I never believed in all spell-casting.I Have been scammed by 5different people.I lost hope in them.My ex left me.I was devastated.I lost my job.My best friend saw my plight.Then he introduced me to dr favor.I Was told his work is free.I Never believed until i got in touch with him.He did a spell for me.My ex came back in less than 72hrs.I was recalled at my place of work.I Was even promoted immediatelty.I couldn't believe there is a real prophet out there who does free spells.I only paid in appreciation after the spell had worked.He doesn't charge anybody until the spell has worked.You shouldn't be decieved by all these scammers that are here for money.dr favor doesn't charge.You can only choose to pay after the spell has worked.Try him and see what i am saying.These are the few things he does
*HE BRING BACK LOST LOVERS IN 24hrs.
*REMOTE CONTROL OVER LOVERS.
*ALL TYPES OF SPELL CASTING & VOODOO WORKER.
* IS YOUR HEALER TAKING LONG TO SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS? THIS IS YOUR CHANCE TO BE HELPED QUICKLY.
*GET RIDE OF ANY WITCHCRAFT, BAD LUCK & CURSES.
* EXPERT IN DISTANCE HEALING
*COURT CASES EVEN IF ONE IS CONVICTED[IF THERE'S A CHANCE OF APPEALING]
*IS SOME BODY JEALOUS WITH YOUR RELATIONSHIP?
*UNFINISHED JOBS BY OTHER DOCTORS-IF NOT SATISFIED-COME TO ME.
*ARE YOU BEING FORCED INTO A DIVORCE?
*HE PREVENT BAD LUCK AND JEALOUSY.
*TO WIN HORSES AND GAMBLING.



*HE CAN STOP SOME ONE INTERFERING WITH YOUR RELATIONSHIP

3:50PM PDT on Jul 15, 2015

GOD BLESS THE DAY I CAN BE-LIVE THIS WHAT DR.OGUMEN HAVE DO FOR MY LIFE

Hello my name is GLORY FRED from USA, My life is back!!! After 8 years of marriage, my husband left me and left me with our three kids. I felt like my life was about to end, and was falling apart. I contacted you and after I explained you my problem. In just 3 days, my husband came back to us and show me and my kids much love and apologize for all the pain he have bring to the family. We solaed our issues, and we are even happier than before you are the best spell caster Dr OGUMEN i really appreciate the love spell you castes for me to get the man back to my life i will keep sharing more testimonies to people about your good work Thank you once again at (ogumensolutioncenter@yahoo.com ). in case you are in any problem you can contact this man for help he is always there in his temple to help you solve your problem Contact Email is (ogumensolutioncenter@yahoo.com ).

6:26AM PDT on Jul 15, 2015

I am full of happiness and delight, on the grounds that I have my significant other once more at my palm. My partner left me for just about 2 years. He doesn't pick or even return my calls and sends I tried each approaches to get him back, however no way. Until I met with this extraordinary spell caster called Olorun Agbalazzy, who did magic for me to get him back in less than 42hrs. I exhort anybody going to this site to run to him promptly for any relationship offer assistance. He is an extremely effective and experience spell caster you can get help from.you can contact this great man Dr Olorun Agbalazzy on his email OLORUNODUDUWASPIRITUALTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM

7:54PM PDT on Jul 12, 2015

Time to take this article down I've never seen a comment, besides the one preceding mine by HM., that isn't spam. It's just like the article awhile back about how to maintain a long distance relationship.

1:12AM PDT on Jul 10, 2015

I want to share my testimony and my happiness with you all in this site, last year my husband left me for another woman in his working place and he abandon me and my 2kids, everything was so hard for me because i love him so much, so i saw the testimonies of DR ALLI he has been helping ladies in getting there husband back so i contacted him and he help me to cast a return spell for my husband and in 2 days my husband left the other woman and he come back to me with so much love and caring. i will never forget this help that DR ALLI gave to me and my children.if you are here you need help to get you lover back you can contact him through this email allispellhelp@gmail.com or allispellhelp@yahoo.com +2348149158514 i am proud to be on his testimony

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